Thursday, January 21, 2010

Twitter Recap - Now With Bonus Tutorial!

It's time for Twitter recap because A) You guys need to know what I'm tweeting and B) I don't have a blog post idea.

For anyone STILL saying WTF is Twitter, there's a tutorial at the end from the awesome explainers at "In Plain English".

This just in: John Edwards IS father of lovechild. In other news: World not flat.
9:30 AM Jan 20th from Twhirl

9 y.o. has pantyliner wrapped around her thumb to help stop sucking it. "There's a whole box of these bandages under the sink."
7:01 PM Jan 19th from Twhirl

"and they smell really good."
7:02 PM Jan 19th from Twhirl

I can't hold my tongue any longer. I don't think "Pants on the Ground" is THAT funny.
10:06 PM Jan 17th from Twhirl

Great. Husband just walked in and my computer screen was on "Channing Tatum's Penis Scalded in Accident."
1:08 PM Jan 16th from Twhirl

Vanity Fair has sweaty shirtless Tiger Woods on cover. Still pass.
3:23 PM Jan 10th from Twhirl

Am I the only one who doesn't give a flying f*ck about Jay Leno and his time slots?
2:33 Jan 10th from Twhirl

Is Cupid a baby or a midget?
5:51 PM Jan 8th from Twhirl

No, Kidz Bop, you may not "Sing the Beatles".
6:30 Dec 28th from Twhirl

Just called my dog a 'dickwad'. That's not cool.
5:06 PM Dec 22nd from Twhirl

Altho in my defense, he was being a total dickwad.
5:07 PM Dec 22nd from Twhirl

Too awesome to make up: Just found out my daughter's bus driver's name is Mr. Horn
3:28 PM Dec 22nd from Twhirl

Toaster's broken. Gotta get this over to Sesame Street.
12:24 PM Dec 20th from Twhirl

Just because the Cheetah Girls aren't related doesn't mean they're not sistahs.
5:33 PM Dec 18th from Twhirl

Dear Naked Lady putting on makeup at the Y: Really?
8:03 PM Dec 17th from Twhirl

You know what blows? No matter how hard you slam the phone down, all the other person hears is *click*
4:52 PM Dec 8th from Twhirl

UGH. "The 12 Days of Christmas" is like the "99 Bottles of Beer On the Wall" of Christmas carols.
11:02 PM Dec 6th from Twhirl

9 year olds during basketball game: "COACH! COACH!" Coach: "What?" Them : "It's SNOWING!!!!"
3:43 PM Dec 5th from Twhirl

Follow Me. Or you won't know what I'm doing.


Amber said...

thanks for the laugh this afternoon, those twitter posts were great

foxy said...

Dude. You are the best twitterer (tweeter? twit?) ever. You make me consider signing up. But then i remember that you do these blog posts every now and then, so I don't have to. So, thanks for that.

Keyona said...

You never disappoint. LOL!

Anonymous said...

I LOVE your twitter posts.. You can be funny AND brief. I cannot. And I still don't tweet. I am afraid of yet one more addiction blogs, FB, twitter, what next? It's all social crack.

Anonymous said...

Oops that was me Kim from 3 peanuts....I am posting for a friend in China and am apparently still signed in as her...OOOPS.

Bren said...

I hope Maria can fit you in to get that toaster fixed! That was my laugh for the night - hubby thought it was pretty funny too! Will have to watch the tutorial because I am pretty clueless on the whole twitter thing.

Tracie said...

I wish Maury would do a special with John Edwards.

♥ Kathy said...

LOL I can't get over that video :-p and I already follow you on Twitter :)

Unknown said...

I love twitter. It's like crack without the guilty feelings.

Kimberlee said...

Wow... I have a twitter account and I can't rememer the last time I looked at it... you've inspired me to log back in to follow you. I might even delete everyone else and JUST follow you!!! Seriously, to get a tweet as funny as these might just make my day sometimes. Love ya, you're hilarious :)

Anonymous said...

Cherub, I believe the answer is Cherub.

I would comment on the panty liner but you would probably need stronger adjective than "dickwad" to respond.

As always a great blog to britghten the day.

choochoo said...

consider yourself followed! lol

Ashley said...

OH MY Gosh, what HAPPENED to Channing's PENIS?? I will need to google this ASAP. I love him. I Love him more than Edward! So you see how serious I am.

Creative-Type Dad said...

Mr Horn -- Nice!

And I think Cupid is whatever Gary Coleman is. An angry little guy.

Anonymous said...

I love the comment about slamming the phone down. These make me laugh!

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Brim over I agree but I think the list inform should secure more info then it has.

Lisa-licious said...

OK, I don't know what drugs "anonymous" was on for those last two comments, but they must be powerful!

I am glad I am not the only person who has called her dog (and several exes) "dickwad". It just works perfectly at times.

Perfect post, and has renewed my twitter interest. Glad I have an unlimited texting plan!