Friday, July 23, 2010

Drive-bys and Chicken Gangs

So you know your writer's block is bad when your advertisers inform you that you're not going to get "paid" unless you "post" more "often" fact they're going to "remove" their "ads" until they see "fresh content".

Translation: Ragu is not going to send me a check for drinking iced coffee by the pool.

I feel like a grounded teenager.

Anyway. My anxiety-ridden 9 year old (the one who wants to know if I've ever used my pepper spray on a Ninja and who practices her stop-drop-and roll...) has a new fear.

Her: "Mom? I'm really scared."
Me: "Scared of what?"
Her: "Drive-bys. I don't want you to get killed in a drive-by."

My neighborhood:

You can't really see in this picture, but that mailbox is riddled with bullet holes.

So, I explained about there being no gang activity in the immediate vicinity....but I may have spoken too soon because yesterday I looked out my window and saw this:

The f*ck.

Husband: "Those are domesticated chickens. You can tell. They don't run away."

Me: "You mean as opposed to super-fast WILD chickens?"

Husband: "Yes, wiseass.. for every animal there is a wild version."

Me: "So wild hamsters?"

Husband: (rolls eyes. walks away.)

I'm just askin:

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy 4th of July

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