Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Oh, SkyMall...Why Didn't I Think Of That.

(Editor's note: Yes-I'm pretending that I haven't had writer's block for 3 months...just go with it.)

So we all know that I hate flying.....what with all the crashing and the dying and whatnot.

And it's super-awesome that besides having to worry about engine trouble and de-icing the wings and electrical failure and hijacking (remember hijacking? Like, regular....take-us-to-Cuba hijacking?) I now have to add underwear bombers and birds to the list.

(Birds? Really? What kind of dumb-ass flock of birds gets sucked into a plane engine.)

Anyway. There is one awesome thing about planes..aside from how crazy-cute Captain Morgan looks in mini size....

SkyMall Magazine.

Seriously, I think I need to look into a subscription...because I don't fly that often...and how could I sleep at night knowing I might be missing out on products like


Steak monogrammer,
(available in any combination
of letters or just "D-BAG")

"Garden Yeti"

Garden Zombie

"Napping flat on your face" pillow

Stress relieving head massager.
Literally says "use it at your desk at work".

Because in this economy your job is totally safe if you're rockin' a space helmet.


Unknown said...

My daughter and I had a great time with the Sky Mall in January when we flew to California! If I had money to throw away, I'd probably buy something just to see what it was like! lol

Bad Christy said...

Personally? I want a sleep-on-your-face pillow, except from an ergonomics POV, the next day your back is going to be totally jacked up.
The garden Yeti takes the whole garden gnome up a notch, want one. But, if they advertised the head massager as a mind-control-deflector cap, they would sell a million of them. As it is now, only my neighbor down the street will own one.

leester said...

My husband and I laughed so hard at that first triangle pillow thing when we were flying for our vacation last year. What's more awkward than being the guy that whips out that pillow mid-flight? Being the guy NEXT to that guy.

Henley on the Horn said...

You are so funny and we have missed you!!!!

Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? said...

It cracks me up, too. Did you see the shoes? I blogged about them!

Mrs. S. said...

So glad you are back...you make me laugh after a long day teaching 27 9 yr olds...today's was one of my favorite..loved it all...especially the scalp massager you can wear at work...think I'll plop that on my head and teach...that should keep their attention, right???!!!
Wyomissing, PA

Belita Rose said...

I love skymall!! I always feel stupid that there are things in there that I actually want!!

Loveable Loser said...

Are you sure you had writers block or were you using the Relax on your face pillow?
Funny as ever, thanks for the laugh.

MrsSki said...

I LOVE Sky Mall! And actually brought home my copy from flying the last time to do a similar blog post. There is some serious hilarious junk in that magazine!

-blessed holy socks, the non-perishable-zealot said...

HawrHawrHawr you're funny. If you hate flying and death, whirly-girly, just think of you'll be at my BIG-ol party-hardy Upstairs in Heaven before you know it, toots; for years and years, we'll celebrate our resurrection. You're most invited. God blessa youse -Fr. Sarducci, ol SNL

Anonymous said...

Good gawd, woman. You are so funny, and I need you to get over this writer's block crap and do more of this. Totally selfish on my part, sure, but c'mon!

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Merrie said...

Love the sky rest but you know I'd be the one next to a cute guy, drooling. *sigh*

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Creative-Type Dad said...

I like the zombie garden...

kristin said...

Have you ever seen anyone on a plane with that pillow thing?

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I Am Boymom said...

SkyMall kept my kids busy for the duration of our last flight. I thought they were reading Mad Magazine they were laughing so hard! They are dying to get the Garden Yeti.

BTW - I think Joe and Sheena may be Skymall spies who are using your blog comment area to sell vehicle parts. Maybe the demand for Giant triangular pillows isn't what they had hoped and now they have to unload the crap in the back of the warehouse.

Tree Hugging Attorney said...

The SkyRest is my FAVORITE item in Skymall. I pray everyday I fly that someone will bring this on the plane and sit next to me. I also pray that, when it happens, I will be in the aisle so as to not pee my pants. I can't decide what I like the best? The fact that it is BRIGHT? The fact that it has to be blown up WITH YOUR OWN BREATH, which would invariably take about 30 minutes - assuming you didn't pass out from your ears popping? Nope. I'm pretty sure it's the fact that it's GINORMOUS - and the second the a-hole in front of you reclines (because they ALWAYS DO when you have stuff going on) that thing is either going to pop or pin you to your seat. I'm telling you...I NEED to experience this in my lifetime. It's a must.

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