Monday, August 16, 2010

Twitter Recap

If you're not following me on Twitter, this is what you've missed. Honestly, I don't know how you function.

I strongly disagree with the river tubing company's giant sign. Alcohol and tubing DO mix.
2:21 PM June 28th via Twhirl

9 year old : "How do people with afros wear helmets?"
3:30 PM July 5th via Twhirl

Our fireworks were so kickass last night that the dog ran away overnight.
8:03PM July 5th via Twhirl

Summer homework is such a f*cking buzzkill
10:45 PM July 18th via Twhirl

OOooh. Hot guy just ran up my cul-de-sac. How fast can I make a lemonade stand.
10:45 AM July 19th via Twhirl

BlogHer just suspended my ads for lack of posting. Feel like a grounded teenager. I NEVER ASKED TO BE BORN! Or something.
6:20 PM July 19th via Twhirl

How completely epic would it be if Kevin Costner does, in fact, save the Gulf.
6:24 PM July 20th via Twhirl

Teen: "She's not texting me back." Me: "Why don't you call her house?" Teen: "That's weird."
7:53 PM July 23rd via Twhirl

My muffler just fell off. Or my tailpipe. It's a rusty metal tubey-thingy. Do I need it?
4:25 PM July 25th via Twhirl

9 year old: "Do all the astronauts on the moon live together?'
9:39 AM Aug 3rd via Twhirl

True story: Trainer just texted me: "Sorry I called your shoulders 'old pieces of meat'. I apologize."
2:03 PM Aug 11th via Twhirl

OK people, I have a petition here for the kids to go back to school a week early. Who's with me.
11:23 AM August 13th via Twhirl

These kids are so far up my ass I feel like I'm giving birth.
11:25 AM August 13th via Twhirl

OK this is an opening line you never wanna hear: "Mom? you know that green plastic stuff Ziggy threw up yesterday?..."
10:25 AM August 15th via Twhirl

" there's a string of it coming out of her butt." FML.
10:26 AM August 15th via Twhirl


♥ Kathy said...

You are my twitter hero ♥ LOL

Shelley said...

Are they kidding? Alcohol and tubing are like love and can't have one without the other. (Imagine Frank Sinatra was singing that. Or whoever sang that song.)

I voted for the kids to go back to school three weeks ago. No one listened. One more week to go here. Rum + Xanax = I just might make it.

scargosun said...

Ok, I am following you on Twitter. Say something funny.

Stephanie Meade Gresham said...

I had to let go of twitter. My tweets got their asses handed to them by YOUR tweets.

So. I really rely on these recaps.
And you, do too. Because sometimes there's really nothing good to post about...

side note-
you think anyone wants to hear the gory details of a hot brazilian wax? i smell a poll!

Lisa-licious said...

I think alcohol goes with most everything! Tubing, included!

If I love you, and I do, and I love your tweets, then you are my "tweet-heart"!

I STILL haven't recovered from BlogHer!!

Susie Q said...

I'm hoping Ziggy is your peg and not your kid! T

Anonymous said...

Now following. Just wanted to let you know.

Anonymous said...

You consistantly make me laugh out loud and I just realized that I've never commented on your blog.

So um, hi. I'm delurking. Also, you are on my Link Love page on my blog, which is essentially my blogroll.

Susie Q said...

WHERE ARE YOU? I need a good belly laugh! PLEEEEEZE come back soon!