Sunday, October 11, 2009

It's Twitter Recap Time....

You guys. I have 1,013 followers on Twitter!!!!!

You know what that means???!!!!!

Only 1,358,572 more to go 'til I have as many as Dooce. W00t!

So! Let's get started with TWITTER RECAP, a.k.a. "What you've missed lately not following me on Twitter."  And the answer is, 'nothing earth-shattering, but it's Sunday night and I don't have a blog post idea.'

(For the Twitless, Twitter is a social networking site where you type in short observations in 140 characters or less.)

8 year old: "Mom....Mom....Mom..." Me: "Stop saying 'Mom'!"  Her: "Sue...."
4:58 PM Aug 26th from Twhirl

OK Facebook, enough with the quizzes. Toilet paper roll: Over vs. Under? Really?
10:58 AM Aug 27th from web

What is it about Costco that turns husbands into ├╝ber-shoppers? is it the large sizes? My jug of ketchup is bigger than your jug of ketchup.
12:43 PM Aug 29th from web

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!!!!!!! *** doing carpet angels****
10:22AM Aug 31st from twhirl

The best time to ask your husband if you can buy the $1500 imac is when he's in his car with clients and you're on speakerphone.
11:31AM Sep 2nd from twhirl

Michael Jackson's only getting buried today? Ew.
10:18 AM Sep 3rd from Twhirl

Yo, Tuesday, Ima let you finish but Saturday is like the best day of all time.
6:12 PM Sep 15th from twhirl

God what was I thinking letting husband and 8 y.o. go to Petsmart together for dog food. Am proud new owner of a dwarf hamster. Arrrrgh.
4:28 PM Sep 19th from twhirl

8 year old: "Remember that bank that had a tube that shot lollipops thru the car window?" Me: "I think you're remembering that wrong."
10:34 AM Sep 20th from twhirl

"Honey your hamster can't be pregnant cuz she's not married." 8 year old: "Some teenagers get pregnant when they're not married..." Thanks, Jamie-Lynn.
2:21 PM Sep 21st from twhirl

Isn't it awkward when Facebook is suggesting u friend someone and probably suggesting they friend u but neither of you will do it?
3:18 PM Sep 22nd from twhirl

It's too late to weigh myself this morning. I've already had tea.
6:57 AM Sep 23rd from twhirl

File under "I Don't Wanna Know": Dog puked, I went to get papertowels, came back and it's gone.
12:20 PM Sep 24th from twhirl

Husband who knows I'm a football retard: "Who're you for?" Me: "The....Atlanta Braves." Him: "Well I don't think they're gonna win."
10:21 PM Sep 27th from twhirl

Well that's embarrassing. The Atlanta Braves just re-tweeted my tweet about thinking they were a football team.
11:21 PM Sep 27th from twhirl

8 year olds: Smart enough to fake being sick, but not smart enough to keep it up past 10AM.
12:38 PM Sep 30th from twhirl

GAH. Succumbed to Target's evil brainwashing rays. Spent $320 when all I needed was a tea kettle.
4:26 PM Oct 2nd from twhirl.

UGH. My personal trainer cancelled cuz he's hungover. The downsides of him being 25 are starting to outweigh the upsides.
1:04 PM Oct. 6th from twhirl

Gosh I just can't get enough of the word 'spooktacular' in October.
8:05 AM Oct 9th from twhirl

Really sorry, but if you use the default ring for your cellphone, I judge you.
10:15 AM Oct 9th from twhirl

Just made a "Days Til Taylor Lautner Turns 18" countdown widget for my Twilight blog. So, productive day.
12:46 PM Oct 9th from twhirl

This just in from The Moon: "WTF???????!!!!!!"
10:31 AM Oct 9th from twhirl

Follow me or you won't know what I'm doing.


Mrs. B said...

dude, compared to my measly 60 followers, you are dooce! you are hilarious, friend. truly.

Misty said...

You now have 1,016. (I just added you. Obviously someone else did before me... 2 someone elses)

McMommy said...

True story: At my sister's engagement party this weekend, her friend and I were discussing your hilarious tweets.

Laura said...

You're almost there...WOOT! :)

Patrice said...

Great post!! If my tweets were half as funny or interesting as yours I would totally do a post like this. My poor twitter followers are so deprived lol I'll start referring them all to you ;)

Former Fat Chick said...

over 1,000 followers? Um, I think you need to command them ALL to follow me (@sugartwittes) 1.) I said you had big boobies 2.) It's a good way to find out if they will obey

kristi said...

carpet angels! brilliant!

my twitter love for you is mucho grande! (i think translated that means very big)

Spot said...

All I can say is that you crack my shit up. I don't have twitter but after reading this post I'm almost tempted.


The Mayor said...

A woman of your capabilities ought to be able to trade your husband some sexual favors for that iMac.

I won't tell you what I did for our new big screen iMac but a little imagination can go a long way.

Arica :) said...

Although I AM following the "Twitter Recaps" on the blog better b/c they are in chronological order. Twitter is annoying that way.

Mama2hre said...

I so agree with the FB friends! I have a whole page of people I know but.....nah.

Keyona said...

I follow but still managed to miss some good ones. You make me laugh. Out loud. ;o)

Chelle said...

I'll follow, but you'd better be funnier than kirstie alley.

HAHAHAHA. Funny, eh? Kirstie Alley *single tear* of judgemental laughter.

3 Peanuts said...

I always love these. I don't tweet but like reading them here. I am too wordy to tweet.

Anonymous said...

the reinterpretation of Kanye and Tuesday was a breath of fresh air next to the Patrick Swazye funeral one.

Anonymous said...

grow up and realize that you'll never be as popular as dooce.