Rapture a Success!

Well this is awkward.

Sorry you all didn't make it this go-round....this is not the turnout we were expecting.

I'm lookin' at a lotta uneaten Chex Mix and Propel.

But I figure as long as they have wifi up here I can still blog and give you a little "insider information".


THINGS YOU FIND OUT IN HEAVEN:

• all the missing socks are here. They were too good for that world.

• Yes, there is a totally separate bug heaven.

• They're still working on fixing hail.

• Satan and the DMV have had a longstanding partnership, as suspected.

• Hundreds of thousands of people have died from mixing soda and Pop Rocks.

• Michael Jackson? not here.

 and finally....

• Yes, He sees everything you do.
Yes, even that.
 No, he doesn't think you're a pervert.
Except that one time.
You might wanna lay off that.