Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Amazon So Doesn't Care About My Writer's Block

Holy mother.

I TOTALLY forgot my blog was available on Kindle and Amazon was CHARGING .99 cents for it.

Apparently, they've been sending out apology emails to subscribers and offering them their money back. And booted me out of the Amazon Kindle family of offerings.


But guess what. I got a job. (!!!!!!!)  I know. I'm totally an executive right now. No, I'm not...but I wear heels and lipgloss and curse at people while I'm driving. So same thing.

Here's what I've learned my first week:

Things to Say When You're Getting Coffee to-go in the Morning at the Wawa:

"Another day, another dollar.."

"Is it Friday yet? hahahahaha"

"Workin' hard? Or hardly workin'?"

"Take this job and shove it - Am I right?"

"Are you gonna finish that pretzel?"

Things That Have Not Changed Since I Last Worked in 1997

Adding smiley faces or hearts to your "possession labels" in the office fridge so you don't seem like a selfish OCD bitch.

Minimum of 6 trial-and-error passes to figure out a double sided copy.

Do we, or do we not, get Columbus Day off.

Things I Have No Time For Now That I Work


Visiting my own Facebook page

Anybody else's laundry besides mine

Front step decoration and maintenance:

"Back off, I'm workin' for The Man."


Jen said...

Congrats on the new job. That pitiful front step pic cracked me up!

3 Peanuts said...

Congrats on the job. We sure do miss your humor though. My husband and I used to independently read your posts and then discuss them. It was like our book club. No I have forced him to read the Hunger Game series instead...not nearly as fun..

Sue Wilkey said...

I love you guys ..*sniff* ...

Merrie said...

Wow, back to work -- good for you! It's hard, isn't it? I've got the single mom thing going, which means when our pumpkins started to smell, my son had to deal with it. ;) Much luck to you and nice to "see you" online. :)

The Mom Jen said...

MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY WOMAN, okay done with the yelling. Congrats on the job, keep in touch on this blog will ya?!

Loveable Loser said...

Dilbert does not stand a chance

Kelly said...

You had me at WaWa <3

Dawn in D.C. said...

Congrats on that job thing. Don't say it too loud, cuz then my husband will want me to get one!

Tatas Zul said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tatas Zul said...

Congrats on the job.

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Lisa-licious said...

Kindle-schmindle!!! My IPad 2 has IBooks, and the screen is way bigger!

Your "porch pumpkins" win over the outdoor Christmas angel I found in my garden last week...but do I get points for the Easter egg I discovered under the patio chair cushion a few days later?

I'm proud of you for rejoining the workforce...I'll bet you start to enjoy it very soon. Just make sure you get vacay time for BlogHer '12 in NYC!!! I'd die without my roomie!

I Am Boymom said...

I'm back in the workforce too after lots of years of being a stay at home mom...laughing so hard at your post. I was amazed at how some things in the coprorate world never, EVER change! Kind of like Groundhog Day. Hoping you'll have time once in awhile to update the blog, you are seriously one of the funniest people I feel like I know. Love yer guts, Sue.

Signed -

Also workin' for The Man

Kimber Leszczuk. said...

Congrats on the job!!! I love your humor - try to find time for us every now and then we will keep peeking in to see what you put up!

BusyDad said...

I miss you and I'm sure the internet does too. You are one of the funniest people ever. I'm here because for MY new job, I was asked to round up some funny people who blog. I came here, saw the post date and said "sheeeeeet."

I hope your job is going well!

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