Twitter Recap

If you're not following me on Twitter, this is what you've missed. Honestly, I don't know how you function.



I strongly disagree with the river tubing company's giant sign. Alcohol and tubing DO mix.
2:21 PM June 28th via Twhirl


9 year old : "How do people with afros wear helmets?"
3:30 PM July 5th via Twhirl


Our fireworks were so kickass last night that the dog ran away overnight.
8:03PM July 5th via Twhirl


Summer homework is such a f*cking buzzkill
10:45 PM July 18th via Twhirl


OOooh. Hot guy just ran up my cul-de-sac. How fast can I make a lemonade stand.
10:45 AM July 19th via Twhirl


BlogHer just suspended my ads for lack of posting. Feel like a grounded teenager. I NEVER ASKED TO BE BORN! Or something.
6:20 PM July 19th via Twhirl


How completely epic would it be if Kevin Costner does, in fact, save the Gulf.
6:24 PM July 20th via Twhirl


Teen: "She's not texting me back." Me: "Why don't you call her house?" Teen: "That's weird."
7:53 PM July 23rd via Twhirl


My muffler just fell off. Or my tailpipe. It's a rusty metal tubey-thingy. Do I need it?
4:25 PM July 25th via Twhirl


9 year old: "Do all the astronauts on the moon live together?'
9:39 AM Aug 3rd via Twhirl


True story: Trainer just texted me: "Sorry I called your shoulders 'old pieces of meat'. I apologize."
2:03 PM Aug 11th via Twhirl


OK people, I have a petition here for the kids to go back to school a week early. Who's with me.
11:23 AM August 13th via Twhirl


These kids are so far up my ass I feel like I'm giving birth.
11:25 AM August 13th via Twhirl


OK this is an opening line you never wanna hear: "Mom? you know that green plastic stuff Ziggy threw up yesterday?..."
10:25 AM August 15th via Twhirl


"....now there's a string of it coming out of her butt." FML.
10:26 AM August 15th via Twhirl

Weekend LOL Video

How bad do I want a fainting goat.

Holy CRAP That Was Fun

So 3 days later, I think the vodka is finally out of my bloodstream from BlogHer '10.

I learned many, many things... but if I could share just one with you, it would be this: After drinking and dancing til 4 am, just because the mini-bar in your room HAS vodka and cranberry juice? Doesn't mean you should MAKE some.

You're welcome.

Roomed with blond bombshell extraordinaire Lisalicious from Mommedy for the 2nd year in a row because A.) She is my best friend and B.) I get lots of free stuff when I'm with her.

In hindsight, could have done without the free "mind-eraser" shots, but as we've already discussed, my judgement wasn't exactly on high-alert.

Were there any guys there? Hell yes.

Hey, a girl can still look, right?


I'm gonna wager that this is one of the few conferences that sports both a Metamucil booth and a vibrator booth...

All I can tell you is: One of these tables? I had to elbow my way in to get a pic. For real.



And sometimes....if you're lucky.........

You'll run into a celebrity so awesome you find yourself begging to take a picture..

and he signs his autographs:

"Love, The Sun".

Yes, I'll Be Posting About BlogHer....

but.

I got to bed at 5am.

On account of I was dancing at Posh in NYC til it closed.

Wait, you're saying. Isn't Posh a gay bar?

Where hot young men go to meet other hot young men?

yes.

yes it is.