Monday, April 19, 2010

Twitter Recap: Because It's Earth Week.

  1. Might tell the dentist I can't make it tomorrow because of the ash cloud.

  2. The definition of awkward: When you have a full conversation with an acquaintance in the grocery store then you see them in the next aisle.

    Think I'm gonna have my kids start calling me 'Mummy".

  3. Just notified that "Taylor Lautner is now following you on Twitter". Do I know it's not really him? yes. Did my heart jump anyway? yes.
     via Twhirl

    Why I love the new VH1 dating show "What Chilli Wants": Requirements: tall, handsome, great body, no more than 
    2 babymamas.

  4. 17 y.o. just informed me that Smart Water is the best kind because "Dude. it's from the clouds."

  5. Teacher to 3rd graders taking standardized test today: 'If you're so nervous u need 2 throw up, do it away from 
    your test."

  6. We felt the earthquake here in PA! No, we didn't. I'm just feeling left out.
     via Twhirl

    Day 11 of kids' spring vacation. Googling clocktowers in the area to bring my high-powered rifle to.

  7. (telemarketer on caller ID) Me:"Tell 'em to bite me". 
    12 y.o.: "Bite me." (slams phone). Husband: 'Nice parenting."

  8. My 12 year old says she's embarrassed that her new 
    phone still has a "mom ringtone". 

  9. 12 y.o: "Why do we have a foreign mailman?" Me: "He's not." Her: "Then why is his steering wheel on the wrong side."

  10. 9 year old: "I think our bus driver is blind. He wears those dark blind people sunglasses and never takes them off."

  11. File under 'unintentinonally funny": Today's school lunch is "Sea Wonders".

  12. If my husband doesn't want to drive important clients in a 
    car with black banana peels and congealed ice cream I need more of a heads up.


Henley on the Horn said...

You, as always, are HILARIOUS. Love it. Esp. the banana peels.

PaperCourt said...

I'm laughing the 2nd time around too.

♥ Kathy said...

I always enjoy your tweets..they liven up my twitter something fierce :)

Spot said...

I can't believe how much these make me laugh, even the second time around. I believe you're at least partly responisble for my bmofgi. Brief moments of giggling insanity.


Stephanie Meade Gresham said...

You recycle tweets for earth week. I am not doing laundry all week.


3 Peanuts said...

Love them. I needed a good laugh:) My fav is the teacher telling the kiddos not to puke o the standardized tests:)

Keyona said...

I must have missed a few of these because I just snorted at my desk. Classy.

Kathy said...

"The definition of awkward: When you have a full conversation with an acquaintance in the grocery store then you see them in the next aisle."

Ugh. The worst. All you have left to say is "Hi, me again." Awkward!

Bethany said...

Laughing SO hard. I think I need to follow you on twitter!

kanishk said...

always enjoy your tweets..
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