Saturday, August 15, 2009

More Twitter Recap

    I have compiled for you a samplingof the insightful, educational and thought-provoking morsels of genius that you are missing. After reading this, you will say either
    A) How have I missed out on this all this time orB) What a douche.
    Your call.

    Me to husband at open casket tonite: 'We Catholics kneel and pray." Husband of 13 years: "You're Catholic?" from twhirl

  2. Newest follower of my blog's "About Me': "I like reading, photography, music, travel, people watching, porn."
    from web
  3. What to do after Shark Week? I propose Worm Week. Who's with me.
    from twhirl
  4. 8 year old: "Mom? I'm going out. I'll be on my scooter."
    from web
  5. Considering outsourcing my next blog post to India.
    from web
  6. Headed to the Apple store's 'Genius Bar". Cocky bastards.
    from twhirl
  7. I have so much laundry to do I'm tempted to throw it out and buy new stuff.
    from twhirl
  8. Oh Lord the BlogHer09 pics have arrived. First one I opened was of a gay guy's cherry boxers. Am serious about my craft.
    from web

  9. 8 year old: "I hate golf camp. All the kids 
    tell me I'm holding the bat wrong."

    1. from twhirl

    2. True bizarre moment: Woman led by seeing eye dog in restaurant bathroom tonight complimented my daughter's flower on her toenail.
      from twhirl
    3. My editor just called. OK that's a lie. I don't have an editor. I just always wanted to say that.  from twhirl

    4. After 2 margaritas, husband looks at me and goes 'You're a good woman." Putting Cuervo in his oatmeal tomorrow.
      from twhirl
    5. My sister in NYC just lost her nanny to Gisele and Tom Brady. That's like losing your husband to Angelina: who can compete with that?
      from twhirl

      8 year old: 'When you kidnap someone, do you use a net? from twhirl

      Dr. put me on new sleeping pill. Took it at  10 last nite, fell asleep at computer and walked into a wall. Can't decide if this is good or bad. from twhirl

      When a bromance breaks up: "Dudevorce". from twhirl

      1. OK. So we're over the Michael Jackson thing, yes? from twhirl

        1. Sparklers are like the geeks of the fireworks community.
        2.  from web

          1. 8pm: Had a big rum and coke. 9pm:Did killer TV workout. 10pm: had cookies. Am retarded. from web

            That smoke detector chick is so non-
            committal it's like she knows it's only 
            Bagel Bites. "fire...  fire..   fire.. "      
             from twhirl

          1. I thought having a sponsor for BlogHer meant someone who wouldn't let you drink too much. from twhirl

          2. Sweet. It's only days til the Xmas ornaments 
            in my dining room switch from "late" to "early". from twhirl

          3. 11 year old: "my cinnamon gum has lost so much flavor it tastes like ham." from twhirl

            1. Um, FYI? If you're looking to find out if Dick's has kids tennis's NOT Dick' Ew. from web

            2. Happy digital TV conversion day, everyone! That was exciting. from twhirl

            3. What if my follower 'SexyBigDickLeo' is a sexy guy named Leo who's just a jerk? from twhirl

              8 year old: "What's a stalker?" Me: "someone who calls you, follows you, won't leave you alone." Her: "Like you and me." from twhirl

              Follow Me!!!!


Shelley said...

I have to admit, I do not understand Twitter. At all. But my favorite line was the one about the xmas ornaments changing from late to early. Then that made me think about the fact that there are only 4 months and a week until Christmas. Then I needed a big glass of wine, because I'm pretty sure I haven't finished paying for last Christmas yet.

Errin said...

The answer is definitely A.

Errin said...

Uhhhhh...this is silly...I'm new to twitter, I tried typing in twhirl to find and follow you, but I don't think any of them were do I find you? Thanks!

Lisa-licious said...

Hey, commenter upstairs...yeah, Errin, I am typing to you. Go to, and on your home page, upper right, click on the tab that says "Find People". When the little box appears, type in HappyHourSue. Then click "follow". Got it? Whatever you do, do NOT try to find her at "Ew" is an understatement!

kristin said...

I've made the same Dicks mistake. ONly once.

Love the Cuervo idea.

You are a wise Twitter sage.

Scary Mommy said...

I love that you do this- genius. Of course I follow you.

And I'm still pissed that I didn't meet you last month!

Formerly known as Frau said...

I like reading twitter post than actual twitter!

chocdrop said...

The margarita one and the xmas ornaments were my favorite.

LSM said...

Would love to follow. Did I miss your username somewhere?

Rachel said...

I follow you on twitter and have been giggling (outloud... to myself, obv) at your tweets!

Keyona said...

Don't worry. I've been stalking...ahem...following you for some time now! LOL!

Bad Christy said...

I must be too stupid to twit anything... I'm signed up, I twit...tweet... whatever the hell it is you do from your phone, and nothing happens.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

From my Twitter, Completely unrelated: Unless you know someone that plays Banjo

The banjo generated nostalgia for experiences I never had, joy I was yet to experience and melancholy that was yet to come.” – Steve Martin, on discovering the instrument as a teenager
Now, with this week's release of The Crow: New Songs for the Five-String Banjo , a bluegrass album featuring his songs and his playing. The new CD, which reached the top of Billboard's bluegrass chart upon its January release on

sheilah said...

Yep. Had to go look at the Dick's site (even tho' I knew better). This is one time I am glad I am out of work (nope...wouldn't look good to have your boss behind you when this site comes up...).

Cathie said...

Your twitters amuse me very much! I enjoy reading them...I thank you for making me feel like it is okay to waste more of my time on computer than doing housework!

Sherrie said...


Aleta said...

I don't Twitter. I'm on FB, but not Twitter. I figure FB is good enough for one liner thoughts. It's hard enough to keep up with FB and Blogging. Don't know how you do it!

Merrie said...

I just read a bunch of these to hubby in bed. We're cracking up. I do follow you, but a few were new to me. :)

Loveable Loser said...


Everyone wants a sparkler!

Missed happy hour. Things OK

AGirlintheSouth said...

I'm afraid that if I did this exact post of my tweets, you'd fall asleep before you got to the bottom. Then I'd feel bad when you drool on your computer. =)

BacktoBarnwell said...

Those are hilarious...I have really been missing a lot! Not b/c I'm not following you, but because I've been computerless! I hate bums who steal a macbook for a crack rock! Anyhow, going back to school! Begins today...Oh shit-running late.

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

I'm following you, but for some reason in the past two weeks I have missed most of your tweets. Maybe the fact that I'm on Zurich time now? Must arrange my time zone to your tweeting schedule.

Life, Love And Lola said...


Lizzie said...

i am so waiting for "Worm Week" ha ha :)

Mrs Bingham said...

A) How have I missed out on this all this time? A, definitely A.