Monday, May 23, 2011
Rapture a Success!
Well this is awkward.
Sorry you all didn't make it this go-round....this is not the turnout we were expecting.
I'm lookin' at a lotta uneaten Chex Mix and Propel.
But I figure as long as they have wifi up here I can still blog and give you a little "insider information".
THINGS YOU FIND OUT IN HEAVEN:
• all the missing socks are here. They were too good for that world.
• Yes, there is a totally separate bug heaven.
• They're still working on fixing hail.
• Satan and the DMV have had a longstanding partnership, as suspected.
• Hundreds of thousands of people have died from mixing soda and Pop Rocks.
• Michael Jackson? not here.
and finally....
• Yes, He sees everything you do.
Yes, even that.
No, he doesn't think you're a pervert.
Except that one time.
You might wanna lay off that.
Labels:
chosen one,
rapture,
sainthood
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