Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Hobos.com
Actual conversation in my car this morning driving 9 year old and her friend to school: Swear to God.
Her: Mom?
Me: yeah?
Her: If you marry a hobo, are your kids half-hobo, half-human?
Me: First of all, hobos are human. Second of all, no.
Friend: Hobos eat cans.
Me: What?
Friend: Hobos eat cans. And if they can't find any, they eat each other. My brother told me. Probably it's from Hobo.com.
A responsible mom would've probably had a serious talk right then about transients and the homeless but "Evacuate the Dancefloor" came on the radio, which, as we know, is my jam, so I dropped them off and came home and looked up Hobo.com.
Holy hobos.
There really is a Hobo.com.
And I totally learned a lot of stuff. Like:
When a 'bo (official slang term) dies, it's called "catching the Westbound".
Freight train is still the most popular mode of 'bo transportation.
Don't drink alcoholic beverages or "act fidgety" when waiting to "catch out" a freight train. That's a sure way to alert the Railroad police.
So, in conclusion, I have a newfound respect for the 'bo....and would like to list here - directly from the Hobo.com website - the bo's who have caught the Westbound, may they rest in peace.
(So hard to pick a favorite, but I think I'm gonna have to go with "Mike of the Weeds.")
HOBOS BURIED IN BRITT;THE HARDROCK KID
MOUNTAIN DEWSLOW MOTION SHORTY
CONNECTICUT SLIMPENNSYLVANNIA KID
HAFEY ZALEA MAN CALLD JOHN
IOWA BOBLORD OPEN ROAD
CARDBOARD HOBO HERB
SLIM JIM
TEXAS BOB
Fr. JOHN BRICKLEYCALAMITY JANE
STICK CHICKHOBO JOE
CINDERBOX CINDYHOBO QUEEN DERAIL
SALLY LADY FISHBONES
LIBERTY JUSTICE
PREACHER STEVE
HOBOS BURIED ELSEWHERE;
ONION COTTON CHARLES NOE
ADMIRAL DEWEY PHILLIPINE RED
HAIRBREATH HARRY SCOOPSHOVEL SCOTTY
KING DAVID 1 BEN BENSON
SKEET SIMMONS ROGER PAYNE
JOHNPREVATIL HOOD RIVER BLACKIE
WHITE SHIRT SLIM DOC BELL
HORSEFACE BILL ICE MAN JIM
GORDON BUDFILER B.S.BULL
HARRY EDWARD HOLDEN RUSS GARMS
THE PHILLY KID ONION JACK
HIGHWAY JOHNNIE WEAVER CORADO ED
MINNESOTA BOB HOT SHOT BENSON
JEFF DAVIS CANNONBALL EDDIE BAKER
ARIZONA BILL HOBO BILL MAINER
BIGTOWN GORMAN BEEFSTEAK CHARLIE
HOBO BYRD NEVADA KID
THE DRIFTER HOBO BOB KELLY
TEXAS DECKER SONNY SLIM CHANCE
FRY PAN JACK SPARKY SMITH
TUMBLEWEED BUCKEYE DRILLER
WATERBED LOU HIPPIE JOE
RENO JENO TROUBLE
F-TROOPER STEP AND A HALF
SKIN HEAD GEORGE ST. GEORGE
SAMMIE-TAMMIE TRUXTON DEE DEE
LAWRENCE OFMINNESOTA WILLIAM PETTIT
MICHAEL CLITES JOHN FORMS
MICHAEL GARFINKLE JAMES MC CLEAN
CHARLES BOYD PAUL WAYNE MATTEWS
ROGER BOWMAN DARREN ROYAL MILLER
MODOC DEBRA LYNN
PINKY FLORIDA BOY BLUE
MELVIN BELLI TUCSON JACK
CHICO THE KID COPPER FRENCHIE
JUST JIM CHIEF
CHICKEN RED FINGERS
FRENCHIE BIG RED
BO BRITT EDDIE NORTHWEST WANDERING STAR
VIOLET JORDAN TED WELCH
BOX CAR WILLIE BOB POTTER
JAMES MICHNER MICHELLE
THADDEUS LITTLE STEVIE
BIGMIKE HORIZONTAL JOHN
RED DOG LIZZARD
MIKEY B. DEPOT DEBBIE BENDER
EAST COAST CHARLIE MOOSE
DON COONS RAY BOWENS
JUDY WATERMAN GOLD BELL
PAPA SMURF VERN WATERS
OKLAHOMA SLIM PEBBLES
BELLINGHAM KID BLONDIE
ABRAHAM WINER SPEEDY
DING DONG 30 WT. EARL
TEXAS CHUCK GENE LIBRATORE
INDIANA HOBO STACEY MARTINEZ
AMOS NORTH COAST BLACKIE
A.D.D.BRYAN CAROLINE
HARDWOOD ERNIE HANSON BRIAN MIZERA
RAINBOW LEPRUCHAN
SMILING SAM ALABAMA HOBO
MISSOURI MO MIKE OF THE WEEDS
LITTLE JOHN STAGGER LEE
AUSSIE TERRY LUCHENBACH AL GRIERSON
IRONSIDES INDIAN JESSIE
MATOKIE SLAUGHTER HATCHET
BOBKEEFER WHINO BILLY
BIKER HILLBILLY BOSTON BRIAN
DEVAN COLLINS HOBO CABBY
JOSHUA LONG GONE WOODIE GUTHRIE
JACK LONDON BURL IVES
HARMONICA SPIKE ALAN J.PAIGE
STORMIN' NORMAN RED HEAD HONOR JOHN
RUSS JOHNSON KICKSTAND
CHUCK E. KENTON GARRISON SR.
SALLY LADY TEXAS RAMBLER
CHICKEN RED FRENCHIE
FINGERS BIG RED
WEST COAST BLACKIE IRON HORSE TOM
OLD TEX HOBO BILL NILE
BUZZ POTTER PEARL of INDIANA
SHOTDOWN WILLS RAMBLING RUDY
INDIAN JOHNNY DERAIL [TOPEKA KS.]
SPACEMAN JOHN COOKING BOB
JAMES ANTHONY COMBS THE UNKNOWN HOBO [MPLS.]
JEFF PORAZZO DIXIE PAVELEKA
BILL GLOVER TEXAS DRIFTER
EVERITT FROM MCALISTER NEW YORK GREENIE
STEAMTRAIN MAURY LA BROOMCORN
CONNOR MACLEOD FRANK "MAGOO" THORTON
HOBO WHITTLER JUNGLE JACK
SIDE DOOR PULLMAN KID ORVILLE PEARSON
JASON LITZER HARDROCK CAJUN
HARMONICA RED LITTLE GIZMO
POODLE JESSIE MOSCA
BLACK-OUT BRAD SLO FREIGHT BEN
GAS CAN PADDY RED COYOTE
LIL JAY UTAH PHILLIPS
JERICHO BEAR GREASE
LOCO LARRY
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
WTF
Seriously. Has the whole world gone crazy?
Check out this Barbie commercial I saw this morning:
I just don't know what to say.
Kudos, I guess, for rhyming "number 1 or number 2" with "puppy pee...puppy poo"...
Annnnnd.....do we all remember Barbie's dog "Tanner" from a few years back?
Yeah. "Tanner".
"Tanner" "ate" his "food" (brown Tic Tac-esque pellets), then you pressed his tail and he pooped them out.
All well and good, except that the "poop" doubled as the "food" and well- I just don't think it's a good message to send to the kids.
So I guess my point, Mattel, is:
More with the fashion, less with the crapping.
Check out this Barbie commercial I saw this morning:
I just don't know what to say.
Kudos, I guess, for rhyming "number 1 or number 2" with "puppy pee...puppy poo"...
Annnnnd.....do we all remember Barbie's dog "Tanner" from a few years back?
Yeah. "Tanner".
"Tanner" "ate" his "food" (brown Tic Tac-esque pellets), then you pressed his tail and he pooped them out.
All well and good, except that the "poop" doubled as the "food" and well- I just don't think it's a good message to send to the kids.
So I guess my point, Mattel, is:
More with the fashion, less with the crapping.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
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