Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Too Lazy to Pop the Tart


Actual exchange between me and my adorable 10-year old daughter on a school morning:

Me: What would you like for breakfast, Sweetie?
10 year old: A Pop Tart, please.
Me: Do you want it toasted or plain?
10 year old: (playfully) Surprise me!!
Me: (tossing it on her plate cold) Surprise.

Followed by me laughing and proclaiming that I crack myself up.
10 year old: (eating her cold Pop Tart) You're really immature for a mom.

What is wrong with me: It's a POP-Tart. It's meant to "pop" cheerily out of the toaster. Otherwise, it would be called an Inert-Tart.

Anyway, here's my point: don't offer me the easier option because I will take it. At my house you will find: frozen pancakes, bagged salad, microwave potatoes, slice/n/bake cookies,  heat/n/eat bacon and lots of other things with "/n". If your child comes to our house for a playdate, we will not be doing a "craft". I didn't make my curtains. I don't have an herb garden. I know my credit card number by heart for internet shopping. (and the fact that you have to use a pull-down menu for the state abbreviations is REALLY aggravating). 

What do I do with all the time I save? Good question. I'll think that over with a Bacardi Mojito ("alcohol already in the mix").


25 comments:

Kathy at The Junk Drawer said...

"You're really immature for a mom." Priceless. I'm with you. If I can't just "'n" something, it won't get made.

p.s. For that stupid pulldown state menu, try just typing the first letter of your state when you're in the field. Should come right up. Keep pressing the first letter until your state comes up. I hate the pulldown!

Alice said...

'You're really immature for a mom.' Mine aren't saying it yet, but I can see them thinking it. And I'm thinking that I need to find some of the heat-n-eat bacon.

ali said...

I asked Big pup if he subtracted like a wild man at school yesterday and he said "no, silly" and gave me an eye roll!

Moms just wanna have fun!

That Crazy Mom said...

Shhhh! Don't tell my 5 year old that you can actually heat those things! She thinks they're meant to be eaten right out of the box.

And, yes, it was "Pinky and the Brain"!! I loved that show. I think its still on.

I'm so glad I found your blog from you finding my blog from Offended Blogger. Your posts are cracking me up!

Gettysburg Mom said...

Hmm. I learned the J in mojito is a soft J by ordering one off a drink menu incorrectly. Teach me to take French in college. What? It's not a Mo-Ji-Toe? My husband still laughs and pronounces it as such. Maybe I'll go make myself a drink now...

Bahama Shores Mama: said...

I'll click my mojito glass in a cheers with ya..........all but the cookies and potatoes!

Wendy said...

oooooo, I'm so happy to find someone else who knows her credit card number by heart! that's a good thing, right?

I also push the same numbers on the microwave so as not to have to move my fingers more. laaaazy.

Bee said...

I LOVE MOJITOS!!
THAT AND MIKE-ARITAS ROCK!

Denise Thomas said...

Don't you know? They don't put enough alcohol in the mix! Since you are going to have to get the bottle of rum from the shelf anyway, you are actually making MORE work for yourself by using the mix. Martha Stewart has nothin' on MY organizational skills...

The Mom said...

Ser-ious-ly, don't leave the option open...I probably wouldn't have even opened the pacakage, lol!great post!

Kelly said...

omg, just found your blog and I LOVE it..hilarious..must add you to my blogroll...
btw, I'm Kelly :)

Jean Knee said...

I let my kid eat frozen waffles frozen cuz I'm too lazy to cook them

duchess said...

You are too funny.
I don't see anything wrong with all of the items you described. Why would anyone waste their time when it's already done for you?

the mom said...

Hey, isn't that why the fortify cereal - so you can eat if for breakfast, lunch & dinner?

At our house, it's considered a "home-cooked meal" if you actually get cereal in a bowl with milk on it. Otherwise, here's the box. Pass it around.

Confessions of A Mississippi Mom said...

great blog, I will have to add to my blog roll, and I'm a whole lot lazier, my daughter eats breakfast at her school.. LOL today she came home saying "we had waffles again"

Mars said...

Ah cheers Babe! Kids will drive you to drink and for God's sake who wants to be that scary popsicle/glue lady seriously?

Tenakim said...

You're very funny (I know you care what I think!)- I will visist again!

Dette said...

LOL - yep. Same sh*t over here at my house. Damn I love Costco.

Mia said...

OMG. You are my idol - LOL.

I'm totally with you on the don't give me the option. Just ask my husband about dinners here.

I landed here via the Mommy Fest and am so glad I did -- what a hoot.

Thanks for the laughs :)

Brooke said...

Found you through Sue-naval gazing and I'm so glad I did! You are hilarious!

...not doing crafts...Love it! HA!

Lauren said...

I completely agree with that crazy mom, please don't let the word get out that you can put poptarts in the toaster. That will just give my 3 year old one more thing to wine about.

Adriane said...

Found you thru Honey Pie- good stuff here!

I'm the paper plate queen. I have no dishwasher and three kids. Who in their right mind thinks I'm going to wash that many dishes a day?

Marinka said...

Thanks to Honey Pie for sending me over here! And really what your daughter did? That's called entrapment. What kind of a surprise is it if you just follow the directions on the box?

Biddy said...

hahahahahhaaaaaaaaa

i don't pop my inert-tarts either.

Big Momma Pimpalishisness said...

Mmmm...pop tarts.

I've never been able to jump on the whole precooked bacon thing though, mostly because I saw a display in my supermarket in a clearly unrefrigerated location. I can't eat meat that doesn't need refrigeration.