Sunday, May 18, 2008

Suckiest Chaperone Award


          An apology to the fifth graders who had the unfortunate luck to get assigned to my group for the "Historic Philadelphia" field trip Friday. I suck as a field trip leader. But in my own defense, I did not sign up for this. There was a last minute shortage of 1 parent volunteer, and a panicky email was sent around begging for someone to save the day. Of course, by "chaperone", I thought they meant one more adult to wander around, talking on their cell phone and making sure no one runs into traffic. No. They meant I LEAD a group. I find this out in the classroom, where we're given our Optional Scavenger Hunt lists. OK, "Optional"=not happening. So my group is already down one activity and we haven't even boarded the busses. 

First stop, Betsy Ross House. As we're waiting outside the guide says they're not 100% sure this is the house. I'm beyond excited to get inside. Which is so freakin' claustrophobic I abandon my group and escape outside to get air. 

Next stop, some Alley of old houses and Site of the Great Scavenger Hunt. My poor friend Sharon, who had the poor judgement to hook her group up with mine, is left doing the scavenger hunt alone because I have convinced both groups this is just not cool, and we should go to Starbucks.

Next stop, Starbucks.  I buy everyone a round of caramel mocha frappaccinos. Succeeded in hooking 11-year-olds on caffeine. Sweet.

Ben Franklin's Grave: Nope. $1 per person  is not worth it.
Independence Hall: heard a rumor you can't get in. (really!!!! I did!!!)
Franklin Mint: Lotsa coins. Very, very not interesting.
Liberty Bell: The line outside is so long that we bag it and peek through a window to see it instead. OK. Liberty Bell. Check.

Last stop: Korean gift shop where parents are probably expecting the kids to pick up mini Liberty Bells and flag pencils. We get Swedish fish, soda and jawbreakers the size of baseballs. And there you have it, kids, Historic Philadelphia. Wasn't that fun?




20 comments:

the mom said...

Hey, at least you had Starbucks - something to fall back on. Our town is so dull that I had to chaperone a field trip "around the neighborhood."

I felt like the moose on Brother Bear.
Me: "Look! What's that?"
Kids: "Tree."
Me: "How 'bout . . ."
Kids: "Tree."

Alice said...

I want to be in your group.

And I'd need tranqs for leading a group on a field trip. I'll cut out a bazillion crafts for a class, but I don't volunteer for anything where I need to interact with kids lower than 7th grade. Unless they're my own. And that's grudingly.

Gettysburg Mom said...

I pawn off all field trip chaperoning onto my husband. Little do the school officials know I'm just adding one more kid to the class roster.

Amy J. said...

Ahh...field trips! And you had kids that were actually behaving? How did you manage that? I always get the ones that I swear had chocolate bars and soda for breakfast....."lets look at this"...2 sec later "and this" 2 sec later "and this".......I'm so dizzy by the end, I'd swear I was drinking!

The Mom said...

Do you read Miss Britt's blog? LMBO, she just did this in a recent "blog party" trip and had some similar comments on those historic landmarks!

Miss Britt said...

That Independence Hall thing is true.

Here's the "tour" you were looking for LOL:

http://miss-britt.com/2008/05/miss-britt-does-philly-a-photo-essay/

Tenakim said...

suckiest? I'd say coolest chaperone! Especially to a slacker mom like me that doesn't have the nerve to go "against the grain" - good for you- I'd want to be in your group, too!

Deanna said...

That sounds like the best field trip ever! Would you do it again and take all of us bloggers??? I would go just to have the Starbucks and candy!!

Jonny's Mommy said...

hilarious...that would have been me, but it would have been a place for ice cream instead of starbucks.

ali said...

If you're the suckiest chaperone then I'm the suckiest dug-out mom! This past weekend at a tball game a poor little 4 year old spilled gatorade all over himself. I told him to go stand out in the sun until he's dry:)

Kathy said...

Hilarious! God bless you. I'd have lost it at the Betsy Ross House. You are right about the Franklin Mint. My husband is a coin collector and wanted to take a run down there. Even he hated it.

Ann said...

After my last trip around the town with the kiddies from school I decided I would bring a flask full of 'mommies juice box'.
(At least someone should have fun.)

Meg said...

What no cheese steaks to go with the mochas?

Beth said...

I just stumbled across your blog and I haven't laughed so hard in a long time!

Leaving your wonderful blog to add you to bloglines.

I'll be back.

Marla Pak said...

thank you for being real! wish there were more of you in the bloggesphere!

Kelly said...

Dude, your group rocks..
I like your kind of 'chaperone' style.
Sweet!

Bee said...

We went to a town called *Old Town* when I was in 5th grade. We marveled at what the adults thought was interesting then just sat on the floor.

I wish I had someone to buy me a caramel mocha frappaccinos!

Dorky Dad said...

You went to Starbucks? I personally consider you an AWESOME chaperon, and I wasn't even there.

Onknees (not_onknees at the moment) said...

Just wait....chaperoning the high school is the best....as long as you make it out of middle school chaperoning without getting your eyeballs singed from the hormone-ball heat.

Heather said...

Growing up in central Jersey as I did, I cannot tell you the number of times I was taken to Philly on a field trip. Never once was it nearly that cool. This may've been in part because my mom was a chaperone EVERY single time. My mom, the middle school teacher who felt like we weren't getting our education's worth on any trip unless we were bored silly with all the learning we could possibly cram in to a day. Never Starbucks, though then again, Starbucks didn't exist back in the dark ages (aka the 80s).

I still have flashbacks just seeing a picture of the stupid Liberty Bell. Pbbbbbbt.