Friday, May 23, 2008

Small Talk is Not in the Job Description


   So I'm minding my own business in the grocery checkout line for the Big Memorial Day Weekend Stock-Up shop. Doing the magazine cover once-over (Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer still together, good; whoa- Lisa Marie Presley is the size of a house, also good; and - go figure - some women's magazines are claiming you can actually "Walk Off the Weight!" huh. crazy. )

My husband's family is coming, so I'm preparing for lotsa food, lotsa drinking. What I'm NOT prepared for is Friendly Chatty Checkout Boy. Commenting on everything I'm buying.

ITEM: plastic tumblers and wine glasses.
FCCB: Hey! Havin' a party, huh????????
Me: yeah.
ITEM: marshmallows and chocolate bars
FCCB: S'mores!!! awesome!!!!!
Me: yup.
ITEM: 2 bottles margarita mix
FCCB: ...and margaritas!!! Nice!!!!!
Me: yeah.
ITEM: Stayfree Maxi Pads "overnites" with wings
FCCB: (silence)

and there you have it. Now I have to find a new grocery store.

15 comments:

Marie said...

LOL, totally relate to this. Sometimes you just want a courtesy hello and be left alone to pay for your groceries in peace!

Beth said...

**snort**

He must be new. I think he learned a lesson yesterday - unfortunately it was at your expense!

Gettysburg Mom said...

Would you rather he had commented on the last item? "So, I see you're not expecting any more kids right now?"

Charlotta-love said...

lol to gettysburg mom!

And oops to the checkout boy. He should learn that silence is golden!

Kelly said...

I agree with Marie...salutations is fine and that will do. One cashier at Target spilled her ongoing saga of which church to attend, and if she'd have to walk there..or maybe catch the bus.
This continues for what seemed like an hour, due to the fact she was soooooo slow and was too busy chattin' instead of rining up my twinkies and excedrin...

The Mom said...

LOL, we have a checker at the store that will literally name EVERY item as he scans it, and poor guy repeats the SAME story every time we see him! We avoid him and the chatty-scans-one-item-every-10-minutes checker at all costs!

Tenakim said...

It totally reminds me of the SNL skit with the Target checker- has a commentary on everything.

TONYA said...

Hilarious. I love it. Have a great smores eating, margarita chugging weekend. I'm insanely jealous.

ali said...

When I worked at Sears, I wore a shirt with the company name on it and I would stop by a small grocery store on the way home everyday. And everyday the same cashier would ask me, "Do you know Mary? She's my sister and works at Sears." Everyday. The same conversation. Heh.

ali said...

Oh, I forgot to add, John Mayer, bleh. I just don't see it.

Wendy said...

there ought to be a NO COMMENTARY POLICY!! like that time I was buying red wine and dark chocolate and the female checker noticed....

I say, LOOK AWAY, PEOPLE!!

Alice said...

Ahhh..put the pads out first next time and stun him into silence. Maybe even some of that KY Warming stuff!

Meg said...

Too funny! Those stores do hire a lot of um...well, socially-challenged people, you know.

Deanna said...

My two boys are asking constantly, "Mom, why are you laughing so hysterically?"

Just a girl thing, honey! Just a girl thing!

Heather said...

I so totally would've been like "Gotta have the WINGS, right?" or something like that to FCCB. Ha.

Speaking of socially challenged, in my former life, I worked in "supported employment" which meant we helped folks with disabilities find and keep jobs in the community. Some of the longest hours of my life were spent job coaching an individual who had landed (with help) his dream job of cashiering at one of the big discount stores. Hour after hour of gently reminding him not to (a) pick his nose, (b) fondle the merchandise as he scanned and bagged it, (c) make comments that he construed as small talk but which consisted of things like "Wow, you've got a HUGE zit on your nose, have you tried XYZ? It's in the health and beauty section...." (I kid you not) or (d) all of the above.

Good times....