Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Jesus Checks In












Jesus: Wazaaaaaaaaap.
Me: !! GOD you scare me when you do that.
Jesus: Language.
Me: Sorry.
Jesus: So. I saw Santa's 'Naughty List'...
Me: What? Where?
Jesus: Office party.
Me: So? - he doesn't keep track of adults.
Jesus: Actually he does, and tells me.
Me: Awesome.
Jesus: (gets out file) Shall we?
Me: I'm kinda busy. I was just going to write Christmas cards.
Jesus: No you weren't. You were going to watch VH1's Sex Rehab.
Me: WHILE I was cleaning the kitchen.
Jesus: L.O.L.
Me: You can't say "L.O.L" You can only write it.
Jesus: (opens file)....OK. Same stuff as last time...."language"..... "laziness"...... "lust"...... "lust:(inappropriate)".....care to explain that one?
Me: I.......... nope.
Jesus: "Trainer": How old.
Me: Twennnnnyyyy....eight?
Jesus: "Deli guy"
Me: I'm gonna say 21.
Jesus: "Taylor Lautner".
Me: Turning 18 in February.
Jesus: Do you see what I'm saying?
Me: I'm on it. Won't happen again.
Jesus: L.O.L.


29 comments:

April said...

There was a reason why I added you to my blogroll ... lol!!

Tiffany said...

Taylor Lautner is the same age as my son.

My kids are totally harshing my cougar-groove. Damn kids!

Kurt said...

There's a name for boy's who have sex with older women when they are 17.

"Hero."

Cathy said...

I can't wait for it to be February.

Erin said...

Hilarious!

Former Fat Chick said...

OMG! Sue...I heard there is a cougar cruise...um, we NEED to look into that!

Anonymous said...

Shouldn't the Lord be saying "FOL"

Forgive out Loud

or was he saying Lust out Loud?

kmoye said...

ok that was hilarious!

Natali said...

HA!!!! Thanks for making me spit coffee on my computer screen- it was worth it.

Baby Mama said...

LOL. I believe that Jesus thinks that was funny too.

Laura said...

Cracked me up. All I know is you're having way more fun than I am!

Miss Yvonne said...

Pssshh. Whatevs, Jesus. Such a Debbie Downer.

TentCamper said...

who knew?! At least you are keeping it real!!! Spose someone needs to teach them boys...might as well be you!

Spot said...

I'm really happy Jesus doesn't just drop by like that at my house. That would be awkward. What's the penalty for sassing Jesus??

And by the way Jesus, it's okay to look as long as you don't touch. Duh.

♥Spot

mrs.mfc said...

HA!!! Love it when Jesus checks in!!

Laurnie said...

Ok this was hilarious. Im new to your blog and am so glad Im now following!

Shannon said...

fabulous!

Melissa said...

I just SO dig your blog. =)

BossySkeezahs said...

Jesus is the reason for the season! Love your blog, sistah. L.O.L.

Anonymous said...

I think have that jesus photo on a mass card!

3 Peanuts said...

Very funny.

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Catcher in the Rye said...

Thoroughly enjoyed, thanks!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

When did being a cougar become a bad thing. All you want to do is witness to them, right?

Maggie said...

Hilarious!!

crystalhb said...

I truly appreciate your candid converstations with jesus. They make me LOL! BTW, I actually saw an "LOL" belt buckle in the tween section of Wally World the other day! huh? What up?

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Hahaha too funny :)

Lisa-licious said...

Dude, how great is Dr. Drew? I LOVE that show! Great post...makes me want some fresh meat!

lexylou said...

Okkaaaay, you are about my new favorite blogger. This has just solidified why you may be funnier than Dooce...