Saturday, December 19, 2009

Holiday Recipe

This just in from my college roomate:

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup or brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl,
check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality,
pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter
in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try another
cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup
of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry
it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geeves
a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.. Whatever you can

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the
Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.

Cherry Mishmas.


kmoye said...

OMG!!! where is the pee your pants warning before this post?!
That was hilarious!!!!!

Jackie said...

HA! I need a towel now. I should not have been drinking dr. pepper while reading that!

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

Jose is a great friend of mine ;)

Jamie said...

I literally laughed out loud at that and almost woke up the baby! I so needed that laugh today - thank you!

choochoo said...

LOL! Oh, I'm linking this to everyone I know and then some. It's funny sheit :D

Craig and Christy said...

Ahh, a tried and true recipe. I've been cooking this one up for years!

Dezzy Lou Where Are You said...

Hilarious- Im going to post this!

April said...

I am going to steal this like Dezzy did ... too flippin' hilarious!!

Anonymous said...

Julia Child in the making.

or should I say baking!

You should see what happens when Jose and Jack D get that is cooking!

3 Peanuts said...

I'll bet you two had a GREAT time in college.

Bethany said...

Oh my gosh I'm just laughing so hard!

prashant said...

I so needed that laugh today - thank you

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BacktoBarnwell said...

that was hilarious. Although, now I'm a little disappointed that no such cookies exist...BUMMER. Back to baking the GOOD brownies in Nanny's kitchen. Gotta go, she's asking me what the plant smell is.