Anyway, I love how the "Girls Next Door" used to extoll the virtues of the "mature older man" and now they're hooking up with pro football players and Criss Angel. (just a heads up, Holly: anyone who calls himself 'MindFreak' may not be relationship material).
I know I had a point.
Oh yeah: Men don't "mature". Perhaps my research is flawed in that I can only really claim a control group of (1) subject but let me just show you exhibit A:
these are my husband's slippers.
Because he's from the South, he calls them his "house shoes".
Husband: I saw your friend Lisa at the grocery store, but I knew you wouldn't want me to say hello, because I had my house shoes on."
Me: Thank you.
Favorite movies scenes fall into two categories: Farting and Sex. Farting during sex is a huge plus.
Let me ask you this, ladies: When you and your husband start a movie at home and the "ratings" come up that say "N" for Nudity, does your husband:
A) Say "all the kids are in bed, right?"
B) Make sure he has the remote in case a child walks in or
C) Jump up off the couch and shout "YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And finally there's the innuendo-speak. Which gets exponentially more ridiculous the longer you've been married.
Husband: Hey Baby, what's for dinner?
Husband: I'll give you lasagna.....
Me: OK that doesn't even make sense.
Husband: I'll give you sense.....
and so on.
I love you, honey...but understanding your Man-Brain?
It's really hard.
I know: "That's what she said."