Sunday, November 16, 2008

President of the "I Suck at Clubs" Club

So I went to Book Club Wednesday night.

Of course I hadn't read the book..cuz, you know, anything about Queens or kites or tents or Afghanistan or queens who run a kite shop out of a tent in Afghanistan...I just can't do it.

Luckily, there was lots of wine, so by the end of the night we were Googling James McEvoy and I had convinced the group to read "Twilight" next.
(Which, ROCKS BTW, for anyone still on the fence. Erotic, but no sex scenes - hard to explain - just trust me: here's your cup of Kool-aid.)

Anyway, I'm good at joining clubs, I'm just not good at adhering to the club requirements.

True story: when I was 8, I was a Brownie for one day, then quit. Who quits Brownies? With the cute outfit and all? I just remember thinking "This is lame - I'm out."


In college, my sorority threatened to kick me out for never coming to chapter meetings. Hello? Does perfect attendance at the parties count for NOTHING?? Ingrates.

"Hi. I have no time for chapter meetings. I'm too busy getting bloated from eating bagels and drinking Kahlua."


At our old country club in Connecticut, I got reprimanded for wearing tennis skirts and my ghetto hoop earrings to play golf.

When we moved to PA, my husband pressured me into joining "Newcomers Club". Sent in the check. Got the 'Welcome' newsletter. President's name was "Dot". Um...No. Deal-breaker, sorry.

And now? Now I have no need for clubs at all:

54 comments:

Brandi said...

OMG I JUST started reading Twilight this weekend and I LOVE it. P.S. I just started reading your blog too and it makes me almost as happy. But not in an "erotic, but no sex scene" way. Though I totally get what you mean.

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

I'm scared to get Twilight...I get enough shit from my husband about the computer.

derfina said...

All right. I'm holding you personally responsible. I've been on the fence, but I just ordered all of the Twilight series on my Kindle. Now I'll just see for myself what all the fuss is about! *wink*

Lipstick said...

LOL! I love it...I have thought a book club would be fun, but I don't want to read the damn books. All that brooding, artsy nonsense. I haven't read anything without pictures since pharm school.

Dawn said...

LOL!! We have a LOT in common! I quit brownies too! I thought it was stupid.

I also don't follow club rules very well either. I just got reprimanded for inviting friends on my facebook acct. to a night out at the movies with our moms club! Geez!!!

The only reason I read Twilight is because our book club was going to read it. Otherwise, I'm not sure I would have. I was so not a vampire person. UNTIL NOW! LOL

Jenni Jiggety said...

I am eagerly waiting for your post with giant cardboard Edward in your kitchen...

And I am SO not a club person. I joined a book club 2 weeks ago...we haven't even met yet and I am already trying to weasel out of it? What was I thinking????

Lulu said...

that post was hilarious!! I just read it out loud to my husband across the room and he's laughing too:)

Great blog!!!!

lulu

Simply Shannon said...

I quit Brownies too! I lasted a little longer than you did though..not much, but a little.

I promise I will read Twilight soon. Just gotta wait for my next check.

Susan in the Psych Ward said...

Hubby was a boy scout for a day... I was the same about my sorority (they were trying to get rid of me.. I was too much fun!)

I'm on the fence about twilight because my 11 yo wants to see the movie because a classmate is reading it... Should I read it to make sure it's inappropriate for my 11 year old????

nikkicrumpet said...

OH my....didn't you get the memo about the bloggers club requirements. Please get a paper, pencil (#2 of course) and write these down......

Merrie said...

I do not understand why I am NOT in a book club -- it makes no sense. I guess I should start one?

For what it's worth, I hated girl scouts. It was clear to me that our troop sucked when we made home made air fresheners at one meeting: tangerines with cloves stuck in them. To this day I detest cloves.

MammaDawg said...

:) Definitely a cup of kool-aid. Or maybe a gallon!

Erin Jeannine said...

I wanted to quit Brownies because my mom made me wear that stupid beanie, even though no one else had to.

And I only want to be in a book club so I don't have to drink alone, but if you're going to add to all that goodness with "Twilight" being the required reading, then I'm in for sure!

And I'd never quit. At least I wouldn't admit to it. I'd just stop showing up and let everyone wonder.

Michelle said...

Googling James McEvoy and discussing Twilight is a MUCH better way to spend an evening!

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

I love this "computer club" too, but I miss drinking wine with the other members.

As for Twilight, it may be the first book Teen and I read together.

Jen said...

Could not have said it better! I don't see anything wrong with tennis skirts and hoop earrings!?!

Linda S said...

there you go...bloggy club. and you da president! or court jester. or bartender. or they are all the same thing.

Gettysburg Mom said...

I didn't get the chance to quit Brownies... they kicked me out. Something about challenging authority. Maybe my parents should have taken it as an omen for the teenage years...

Smart A$$ Mom said...

Twilight, such a follower. Simply cannot get into New Moon, maybe I should pick up Harry Potter and call it a day.

georgie said...

I.Loved.The.Twilight series!

Mama Dawg said...

Amen, sister!

sassy stephanie said...

Dot? Oh yeah. That would have sealed the deal for me too. Only, I would have never even sent the check.

TWILIGHT totally rocks. Obsessed over heyah.

Former Fat Chick said...

I was asked NOT to come back to brownies...something about sneeking off and swiming in a lake while on a camping trip...the work Ring LEader was used alot...

Tiffany said...

Twilight fucking rocks. Although a few sex scenes would have been AWESOME!! Damn young adult novels!

So are you obsessed with Edward and Robert Pattinson like I am? Or are you still a Joe fan? LOL

Rochelle said...

Yeah, Dot would be a deal breaker. Oops...I meant "yes" (Whines & Wines blog reference - join the club & read it! http://whinesandwines.blogspot.com/2008/11/5-year-olds-discuss-grammar.html)

Love the "I love my computer" cartoon. So true.

Betsey Booms said...

That read exactly the way I would write about my ability to attend any kind of club.

I'm a super under-achiever in that area.

And most others too.

ali said...

I'm all about reading, until someone tells me I have to! ::patiently waiting for my sister to finish first Twilight book so I can join in all the fun::

Leigh (Modern Mommy) said...

LOL! I'm so glad that you can join the feelin-pervy-lusting-after-a-17-year-old club. Can I join the sucking-at-clubs-club? I promise to quit if it gets too hard. :)

Caroline said...

Love the pic! I don't do clubs...I am way to hip and individual. OK, I am just too lazy!!!

Anonymous said...

Thought you were Jonas Bro club memeber?

What about Wine of the month Club?

More PMP's than bagels during College. You were still hot.

KK GG...I am so happy that I am a....or is that was a?

McMommy said...

I quit tennis when I was 7. Why? Because it made me "sweat too much". How lame is that?!

Rachel said...

rules smules! they are meant to be broken right...just ask BT gangsta!

Lori said...

I also quit Brownies. Would have rather ripped my eyebrows off than join a sorority...I just went to all the frat parties. Love to read, but won't join a book club because I don't like being told what to read. But I am going to try Twilight. I hate hearing everybody talk about it and not understanding what all of the fuss is about.

jaime said...

the only club i belong to is the one i joined on Facebook called "moms who drink and swear"....need i say more? lol!

Type A Deb said...

Aah, the Kahlua bell curve. Now that's something you were very successful at! :)

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Yes, I would definitely join a book club if it only consisted of getting together and drinking wine and having a blast.

AS for Twilight, I was also on the fence, but I think after I finish the two books I have in queue, I will move on to Twilight.

All cause of you lady!

QuirkyLoon said...

Well don't forget the Twilight movie comes out this Friday ladies!

Great post and hilarious.

Gee who knew there were so many Brownie quitters out there...

Might be the beginning of a club...

hmmm

The Nice One said...

LOVE the pic from the college days ;)
Yes, you are spot on about Twilight. That's why I watch True Blood, to fill in the nitty gritty sex scene parts ;)

Brittany said...

Word. I only go to clubs to drink and eat. But mostly drink.

Heinous said...

I try not to join any clubs. It's too organized for me. That just kills all the fun.

Deb said...

Isn't the whole point of a book club to NOT read the books?

But, if it is Twilight, that is a completely different story. Loved that book.

I haven't been by in a while. I'm an idiot and erased my blogroll by accident. I suck.

Deb said...

Oh, but now I'm back!

6HappyHearts said...

Hi my name is Jen & I'm addicted to Twilight! I think, dream & talk Twilight. I ignore my kids, hubby & housework just to re-read the books before the movie on Friday. Who knew teenage vampires who don't drink or have sex could be so enthralling?!
I also quit brownies & tennis?!?!
My Dad is still ranked through USTA & still reminds me I'm a quitter...ugh??!!
I found your blog through Rachel who found me through Dawn. Such a small blogging world ; )
FYI...the only reason I read Twilight is that Dawn went on & on about it. I blame her for my addiction : )

Miss Yvonne said...

Twilight is the bomb dot com. But at first I could only read it in secret, because my niece made me start it and I was all "yeah, this should be awesome"...eye roll. And then I got two chapters in and I was all "YEAH THIS IS AWESOME!". And that's about when I felt like a dirty old lady for wanting to lick Edward.

Now I see that there are oodles of dirty old ladies just like me. Ahhh, I love blogging. I fit in so well here!

Jennifer said...

I don't know why I've been avoiding Twilight--I know all the cool kids are doing it.

OK--I'll put it in my queue.

Janah said...

lol! I just can't stop laughing at the 'I love my computer' pic. Maybe I laughed because I know how true it can be.

Jen said...

That first paragraph about the tents and kites totally cracked me up. It is one of the many reasons I gave you an award. Stop by my place to pick it up.

PS Glad you enjoyed Twilight.
PSS Here's all the McAvoy you will ever need:

http://dailymishmash.com/2008/james-mmmm-mcavoy/

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

There's enough people here to fully warrent a "I Quit Brownies Club"... i could so join.

Heather, Queen of Shake Shake said...

I don't blame you for not reading that book. I've tried Phillipa Gregory and I'm not in love.

So far, I am refusing the kool-aid just because I hate following the crowd.

Tenakim said...

ME TOO- I suck at clubs- can I join?

On the sorority front- they didn't kick me out, they just convinced me to "deactivate"- meetings were a bit tedious.

I don't read, but everyone and their brother talks about that book! I'll have to catch the movie.

Scary Mommy said...

I've resisted thus far, but think I may cave. You have just pushed me to the dark side.

Natalie said...

I definitely quit Brownies after one day too. We can't all be completely involved, can we? Too crowded. I'll make room.

Natalie said...

I definitely quit Brownies after one day too. We can't all be completely involved, can we? Too crowded. I'll make room.

Lisa-licious said...

So, THATS why I am bloated. It's the BAGELS and KAHLUA!

Going to parties is all we do in our "mommy clubs"...we look for ANY EXCUSE!!! We have a Bunco group where we have never played the game, a prayer group where it seems we pray for new flavors of vodka to be invented, and there are always the parties where you can shop for things you don't really need and get tipsy as you write the checks. You've blogged about those already.
I am on my way to the bookstore to get Twilight. Too much pressure from all the moms, and now you.