(Those of you not familiar with Twitter Recap go here:)
OK- onward...... my latest tweets:
"Look at your man. Now back to me. Now back to your man. Now back to me."
3:30 PM Feb 24th from Twhirl
9 year old: "Do retarded people know they're retarded?" Me: "no." (*pause*) "Am I retarded?"
10:30 AM Feb 24th from Twhirl
Dalai Lama says he's never heard of Tiger Woods. He does, however, know Rachel Uchitel.
7:30 PM Feb 21st from Twhirl
Tiger Woods' problem was his conversion from Buddism to Boobism.
11:30 AM Feb 19th from Twhirl
The only way I want to see Elin standing next to Tiger at his statement is if she's hitting him with a golf club.
9:05 AM Feb 19th from Twhirl
Also? If he says the words "sex addiction"? I'll hit my TV with a 3-iron.
9:05 AM Feb 19th from Twhirl
Another common movie phrase I will never utter in my life: "What IS this place??????"
7:30 PM Feb 18th from Twhirl
Catholic confession: If I see my crush coming Ash Wednesday I'm doing the spit n' swipe.
5:31 PM Feb 17th from Twhirl
Apparently my stomach has decided to celebrate Fat Tuesday.
5:16 PM Feb 16th from Twhirl
Hey look: more snow. *gunshot* *thud*
8:30 AM Feb 16th from Twhirl
8 year old: "What does hover' mean?" Other 8 year old: "When someone's all up in your business."
8:41 AM Feb 11th from Twhirl
LMAO RT: Sometimes the one you think is your knight in shining armor turns out to be a retard in tinfoil.
1:01 PM Feb 11th from Twhirl
Taylor Lautner is 18 today **sigh of relief** (#pedopheliaisnotfunny)
12:20 PM Feb 11th from Twhirl
Hmmm. I wonder if God is going to hold me to all those promises I made puking my guts out Saturday night. (#stomachflu)
1:06 PM Feb 8th from Twhirl
Hell YES I'm preparing for the snowstorm. Got to tan and get nails done before the roads get bad.
10:09 AM Feb 5th from Twhirl
9 y.o. had to use "credit" in a sentence. "My mom collects credit cards."
7:30 PM Feb 1st from Twhirl
My 3-word review of "Dear John": Channing Tatum *thud*.
9:30 PM Feb 1st from Twhirl
Ugh. Now I have to find out what an ipad is.
4:30 PM Jan 27th from Twhirl
OK girls: Embarrassing Crush time. I'll go first. Kid Rock.
5:18 PM Jan 26th from Twhirl
Vocal outrage has virtually no effect on my dog's farting.
3:33 PM Jan 25th from Twhirl
What u football people don't realize is Liz on Tough Love just found out that Dave was married before.
10:15 PM Jan 24th from Twhirl
Me to 9 year old: "Is that red marker, or is your nose bleeding?" Her: "marker."
5:01 PM Jan 24th from Twhirl
Me and "Evacuate the Dance Floor" are having kind of a thing.
6:30 PM Jan 22nd from Twhirl
Overstock.com customer service was A+. I think the guy on the phone impregnated me.
7:30 PM Jan 21st from Twhirl
Follow me, or you won't know what I'm doing.
Twitter.com/HappyHourSue
15 comments:
Haha ur funny! Wish I was cool enough to twitter (sigh...)
This is like the best non-post ever.
I liked all of it...but especially the mention of Channing. He always wins!
I have yet to get it on with ANY customer service rep. But I'll hold my breath.
love your 9 year old! my boy (17) started calling my Lulu (dogggie) "mommy's retard baby" ala Palin!
Some of them are SO funny! Love it.
your tweets make me want to start a twitter page- sadly, id never be as funny as you are. sigh.
My fav: 8 year old: "What does hover' mean?" Other 8 year old: "When someone's all up in your business." :)
LMAO!
i follow your tweets and die laughing every time. thanks!
I once dated a girl who sat in the front of church so I would notice her. But I just thought she was really religious, so I got turned off and it had the opposite effect. So spit and wipe? Yea, I am with ya on that one.
I once dated a girl who sat in the front of church so I would notice her. But I just thought she was really religious, so I got turned off and it had the opposite effect. So spit and wipe? Yea, I am with ya on that one.
I love "Evacuate the Dancefloor". My kids hate it so I always turn it up in the car and dance!
Sorry, I would have commented sooner, but I was following that link to the free iphone...
Seriously? Your tweets make me pee a little. Too funny.
♥Spot
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