Monday, December 22, 2008

Procreation Run Amok

I really have no time to do a post today cuz I'm so behind in my Christmas shopping BUT. 

I was watching the Today Show this morning and those damn Duggars have popped out another kid, for a grand total of 18 children.

The poster below was done back when they had a cozy, manageable 14.

















The Dad's name is Jim-Bob (are you surprised, really?) and all the kids' names begin with "J".

Joshua, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger (stretching it there a bit), Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jeremiah, Jedidiah(?), Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer and Jordyn-Grace.

Both parents say they'd 'love to have more'.

I have some "J' words for you, Jim-Bob: Jam your Jaunty Jackrabbit Junk into a condom. Jesus.

61 comments:

Jarrard said...

I was engaged in a conversation about them last night. You would think that number 18 would just walk out and name itself wouldn't you??
That picture is absolutely hysterical - I am so going to steal that from you.

Gettysburg Mom said...

Can you imagine the tax credit?

stampvamp said...

Have you seen the house they built? Maybe they need the cheap labor.

Feener said...

thank you - this made me laugh

Ms. Attitude said...

I can understand wanting to have a big family, but 18 children? My goodness, that is just insane!

derfina said...

They are running out of J's!

Liz said...

Speaking of the house, did you see that they had someone teach every boy child age 10+ how to weld, and then those pre-pubescent children put the walls together. That makes me a tad uncomfortable.

Shieldmaiden96 said...

I fail to see why this is news. They seem like nice people and all, I just don't get why I should care that they have such a big family. Good for you for having enough money to feed, clothe, and shelter twenty people. We're scraping it together to cover two. Nice for you. Now go away.

Marinka said...

You know, when you have 18, it's not so much "the miracle of birth" as it "Tuesday".

Jen said...

Naughty but so funny and so true! I think that some should tell them that God wants him to use a condom.

Brooke said...

I don't understand why this bothers so many people? I guess it's just an easy target for jokes. But then again, I get teased in my community for having 4 kids. Unfortunately, it's often the same women who loudly proclaim "a woman's right to choose" who have difficulty in supporting her right to choose to have lots of kids.

Cathie said...

well it is sad really, She tends to the baby for a year; then that baby gets assigned to an older child. Luckily there have been no reports that they have ADHD, special needs child, chronic health problems. Imagine though what her uterus looks like?

Mrs de Miranda said...

I have actually seen their show. It is quite interesting...and I know they aren't really popular for having had so many kids...but i think it's kind of amazing that they are able to do so much with what they have. They live comfortably, they have money, and they love their kids. They don't ask for any help and they seem happy enough. I find that remarkable. I find it odd that so many people want to ridicule them... As long as it's not dangerous for the mother, all the kids are happy and healthy, and they aren't asking for assistance, then what do we have to complain about?

On another note, I don't really see the "point" of the show...other than they really know how to bargain shop...and make their own detergent. haha

just bob said...

Jocularity!

Lynette said...

AHAHAHAHAHAAHA...I totally forwarded this to my friends...This was HYSTERICAL.

SP said...

AWESOME!

How her insides aren't falling out I will never understand.

Lee the MWOB Queen said...

If anything is worth postponing your Christmas shopping for it's taking some time to acknowledge another Duggar entering the world. Good for you.

Just think if each Duggar kid has 18 kids....and so on and so on and so on....it'll be the end of civilization as we know it.

Erin said...

lmao. thanks, i needed a good laugh today...

Lilly's Life said...

I just cannot get past the Jim-Bob name. To each his own as long as they are able to look after them. I saw a pic of the family in the papers here with the new baby. The mother sure looks in good shape (and young for 42) for popping out 18 children. I dont know. they all look healthy so who am I to judge. I have one child only (and am not Chinese either).

Lillith of course said...

These people just make me shake my head.
It reminds me of those crazy "hoarder" people who have like 20 cats and 20 dogs living in their house. Only instead of cats they have kids.

Mistress Meeyee said...

It would have been much more wonderful if they had decided to adopt instead of seeing how many she could give birth to.Not to mention having sex with her must not feel like much for him or her anymore since having that many babies vaginally.

Amy said...

I can not even imagine it! My nerves would be shot.....big time :)

michele said...

That was Hilarious!!! Thanks for the laugh!

Anonymous said...

I wonder if they are all Jim-Bob's?

Could be an immaculate conception in there somewhere.

In keeping with the season...I going to h*ll for that one!

Jenni Jiggety said...

To each their own, and all that...but DAMN that is like, 17 kids too many!

Aleta said...

OMG -I read the note at the bottom of the picture - LOL.

But wow - that's ummm... a LOT of children! Woah... I can't imagine. She spends most of the time pregnant then, huh?

Susan in the Psych Ward said...

I feel for them... I get ridiculed for being Catholic and only having one child.... but, 18.... I can't even control my one pretty decent kid!!!

Beth said...

You crack me up!!! This family confuses me. I am having #4, but I can assure you there will be NO more. For heavens sake at some point you just have to say ENOUGH!!! :)

Smart A$$ Mom said...

me and my sister, we share our most fav line:

"Someone ought to tell her 'it's a vagina not a clown car'."

Carri said...

We had just been speaking of them at my school. I am amazed that anyone can handle 18 children. I personally would never go there and agree with your J words for Jim-Bob. But whatever I wont pass judgement on them I have 2 that are sometimes out of control so if they can control 18 more power to them. As long as they dont come visit me.

Krystyn said...

Okay, that's hilarious...and I just read it to my sis and hubby..they both laughed.

Auds at Barking Mad said...

I am really surprised her vagina doesn't take off like a bat out of hell every time Jim Bob comes near it, or that her uterus hasn't run away yet.

Oh and there are still a couple of "J" names they haven't used yet:

Jermaine
Janet

Just two I can think of...but somehow I can't quite see the Duggars picking either of those.

jill jill bo bill said...

Just say "Not tonight honey", lady! Jeeze!

SweetPeaSurry said...

LMMFAO ... I LOFFED ya 'J' words!!! Fantastic!!!

Lisa-licious said...

I am impressed that they could get 14 all dressed up for a family portrait, and get a shot where they all look decent! I can't get my two to look at the camera at the same time for a Santa photo! If the Duggars keep at it, maybe WASPS won't be a minority soon after all!

Amanda C. Bee said...

Ha. Love this post!

Pocklock said...

I can't stop laughing at your J-word advice. Great work!

Anna Lefler said...

OK, you got me with that one! LOLing my ass off!

Critical side note: I once dated a guy whose siblings' and parents' names all started with the letter J. AND, all the girls went by boy nicknames (Jennifer = "Jay.")

Deeply, deeply disturbing to both me and my cat (who tried to tell me to call it off early, but the guy had some really nice legs and I didn't listen. When, oh, when will I learn to listen to the cat?)

Freakin' awesome post, as usual, lady.

XO

Anna

jaime said...

a few things come to mind as i read this post(in no particular order):

AWWWWWW SNAP.

OHHHHHH SHIT.

HELLLLL YEAH.

NOOOOOO SHIT.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

They've been married 20 years at least. Last I checked, that means they have sex a minimum of once a year. Does anyone really think that is too much sex?

I agree with Brooke - many "pro-choice" women think they have the right to criticize other women's choosing to have a lot of kids. We have 6, and I wish we could have had 10. We're not fundamentalist anything; but every baby brings so much love into the family, it is a priceless experience.

The clown car joke is very funny, though!

Sarah said...

And I have trouble keeping it together with the TWO that I have! Good lord, does that woman ever say no?

Paige said...

I think they are very strange, and not just cuz they have 18 kids. I am 100% pro choice and support her right and decision to have as many kids as she wants. I too have a right to think she is flat ass insane.

Jim Bob needs to learn your words

Leslie said...

How does she even have a vagina left??? Sorry Jim-Bob, but that CANNOT feel good anymore....

HappyHourSue said...

Big family people: There's nothing extraordinary about 6...or 8...but dudes: There's a reason 18 makes the Today Show.

Shelley said...

Haha! I wrote a post about them last May, on Mother's Day, soon after she announced she was preggo with #18. http://thehormonezone.blogspot.com/2008/05/happy-mothers-day.html

I listed some "fun facts" from their website, like that they do 200 loads of laundry a month. Doesn't that sound like your idea of fun? And if you count this last baby, she's been pregnant for 144 months of her life? That's like, 12 years. Again, "fun." Would you believe that out of all those kids, they've never used two of the most popular J names right now, Jacob and Jessica? I know, I have too much free time.

The Nice One said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again...I just don't understand where those people find the TIME to MAKE more children. Seriously. With just 2 kids there's barely time for procreation. If I had 10 more...OH MY GOSH.

Headless Mom said...

Hilarious.

Merry Christmas!

Miss Yvonne said...

As Oprah says, I bet that woman's va-jay-jay is painin'.

Wayne John said...

Got to love them mormons!

cynthiaa said...

Hahaha hilarious post.

I have to say, they are insanely organized for a family of 20 though. More?! Honestly?! You want MORE kids.

Geesh!!!

I am in the process of writing a post about a conversation I had with someone about this. :o)

carrielt said...

If each of their 18 children have 18 kids they will have 324 grandchildren! Now where will they find that many J names, if the childred carry on that tradtion that is.

KtP said...

This made my day ... at work I pull up your blog everyday and read it outloud to my coworkers - you never fail in making us laugh our - well we laugh really hard.

Anonymous said...

Just for the record-

Baby 18 was a C-section, as were several other births-
The baby was not big at all. It was sideways in her, as a result of the uterus being so stretched out from her former pregnancies. The uterus can no longer hold the correct shape and hold the baby upside down, so the baby was not in the correct position for a vaginal birth. Seems to me that ANY more births she has would have to be c-sections, and she's already had 3 of them. I think she's truly pushing it with her body. But I don't think that will stop her from getting pregnant again.

Sue said...

That human puppy mill snapped when she had a miscarriage after the oldest kid and the hack Doctor told her it was because she was on birth control pills that she miscarried...he happens to be a member of the same church. She's is in La-La land.
Oh and it's correct...she passes each kid on to the next oldest for a "jurisdiction"...Nanny is a better word for it.
One name you'll never see: Jezebelle (a prostitue in the bible).

bejewell said...

I'm late on this but that family pisses me off beyond belief and I can't resist a comment. I don't understand anything about these people but maybe more importantly I don't understand the Today Show's obsession with them. They had them on for Mother's Day, too, which almost did me in, like that woman's somehow a more deservng mom than me because she's squeezed out 18 puppies and I'm just lame over here with my one. But then Meredith did the roll call and accidentally called "Jinger" by her name the way it's spelled instead of pronouncing it like "Ginger," and that made me laugh and feel better about the situation.

deconstructingjen said...

Oh my goodness. I nearly peed myself reading this. HYSTERICAL. Wow.

babyrocasmama said...

ROTFLMAO!!!

OMG I just did a post tag a few weeks back where I said "is she ever going to stop having kids?"

Her uterus is going to fall out. I'll bet her bladder needs to be operated on too. I'll bet she has some nasty incontinence from having all those kids.

Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you SHOULD.

And I don't think they are Mormon, Wayne John. Just some Fundamentalist Christian religion.

But being Pro-Life doesn't necessarily make you more apt to feel having 18 kids is wrong. Nether does being Pro-Choice make you more apt to feel 18 kids & possibly more is a good thing.

I am a Christian. But I also believe in BIRTH CONTROL. I am also a nurse & know what having that many pregnancies does to not only the health & anatomy of the mother, but the baby as well.

That is just too many kids, sorry.

Like the picture says, "It's a Vagina, not a clown car!"

And my husband almost fell off the bed when I read him your words for Jim-Bob! Too. Damn. Funny.

babyrocasmama said...

Oh sorry. I forgot...I found you on MomDot's Top 50 Blogs of 2008.

kristyo15 said...

Just found your blog thru MomDot's Top 50. I have to tell you that I laughed until I cried at the poster and your thoughts for Jim-Bob. Thank you for a great laugh!

sista #2 said...

Do you think when she sneezes or coughs, she pees herself? I know I do and I only shot out 4.


peace
#2

tamilyn said...

I just found you via another blog and between the vagina not being a clown car and jammin his junk, I'm laughing so hard my 15 year old came out to make sure I could still breathe. But surely there are more J names out there: Jasmine, Jethro Tull, Jenga, Jumping Jack Flash....see, she could easily pop another 5 or 10 out!