Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Jonas Emergency Meeting



Joe: Dudes. We are totally getting bitch-slapped by 'Twilight'.
Nick: I know - What the hell?
Kevin: They don't even wear scarves. Or ties. Or scarves with ties.

Joe: Our poster sales are down, CD sales are down, "Joe" T-shirts, "Nick" T-shirts....
Kevin: I never had a T-shirt.

Joe: It's friggin' Pattinson, man, he's taken all our fans.
Nick: DAMN it.
Kevin: Actually, there's more cute guys besides him.
Joe: Shut up, Kevin.
Kevin: I'm just saying...



Joe: you know what this means, right?
Nick: Write better songs?
Kevin: More Accessories, bolder colors.

Joe: No, you idiots. Lose the purity rings. This ship is goin' down. Somebody get me Lindsay Lohan's phone number.

40 comments:

Mrs. Newlywed said...

Is it bad that I think they are so hot...and I am 24?

That I bought the Rolling Stone that they were on the cover of SOLELY because they were on the cover?

Mr. Newlywed looks just like Kevin Jonas. Coincidence? I think not.

Susan in the Psych Ward said...

Too funny... and love that the only way they can stay "hot" is to loose it with someone like Lindsay.... yep, stay in the tabloids and stay on top.... they could just call Britney- since she's on her way to a comeback.....

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

It is true the males of the Twilight cast are pretty freakin' good looking.

Now maybe the Jonas Brothers should have auditioned for Twilight. Everyone knows that if you want to stay in "the biz" you need to be a crossover and act as well as sing...

jaime said...

you know it's bad whenever Lohan's name is involved. lol!

Jen said...

Why isn't SNL hiring you? Seriously! You are so funny! I totally needed that laugh today--thanks!

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

Don't worry Nick and Joe--my girls still love ya (sorry Kevin)

ciara said...

omfreakin goodness! damn right they need to lose the purity rings! lmao @ needing brighter colors & scarves. i'm just thinking joe needs to go topless and stop teasing w his damn tight see-thru tees and tank tops. then maybe, just maybe, i won't keep eyeballin' rob so much.

ciara said...

@mrs. newlywed. joe is bleepin hot w kevin grasping joe's flimsy tee. oh yes indeedy.

p.s. kevin & joe...aft the shirt going off to reveal a tank and kevin just looking all sexy (least that's what i'm told) at the concert, my girls have fallen back in love with you, but you must keep it up cos rob still has a hold. as does carlisle and jacob.

Wendy said...

Too funny! I've never been a Jonas lover, but I fill very differently about the HOT twilight guys!!

Deconstructing Jen said...

hahaha!!! Poor Kevin. He gets no love. Mmmmm look at those Twilight men. Yummy.

Gettysburg Mom said...

I can only imagine the traffic spike you get with posts about Jonas Brothers AND Twilight. Although, you might want to consider dropping Jonas from the title and leading with Twilight. Because, as you said, that boat's sinking...

Scarves with ties, you silly girl...

Jenni Jiggety said...

Yeah...you don't see my Twilight boys wearing any lame purity rings! That's what I want some hot vampire looooooove.

Jen said...

Ooo, that was kinda low. Even for you.

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

LMAO!!! I love the whole scarves and ties thing...and I do think they are hot even though I am too old to have such thoughts about young boys...

McMommy said...

OMG, that picture of Edward...ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME????!!! That almost doesn't seem real.

I think I just drooled all over my laptop.

Leslie said...

Even though I am scared of vampires, I have to admit that picture of Edward is a little tempting....without all of his white, mime face paint and the fangs of course..

SuburbanGypsy said...

ROFLMAO other than that, I got nothin LOL

Just Stephanie said...

My daughter and I were in claire's last night. It was rather comical that there was tons of Jonas Brother stuff there...on SALE. Not much Twilight stuff. Hmmm, perhaps you have something here.

One girl said she stopped liking them after the Taylor Swift and Miley break-ups. Something aut not knowing how to treat a woman. How funny! She was about 10!

Well, Sue...you are know exactly how 9-12 year old girls feel.

Smart A$$ Mom said...

What ever am I missing here? I just can't jump on the 'Jonas Bros are Hotw' bandwagon. I rock their music....but that's it.

Rachel said...

I love these conversations!

Tiffany said...

Oh poor Jonas bros.

But HELLO Rob!

Did you hear they're trying to replace Taylor as Jacob? They can't leave well enough alone.

P.S. You can but a life-size standup poster of Rob er Edward. I'm just trying to determine where I'll put mine. LOL

Miss Yvonne said...

I think they should listen to Kevin. "More accessories, bolder colors."

Dude's got a point.

Allison said...

Agreed. They need to be seen leaving Villa with their hair kinda messy and Lohan throwing up on the sidewalk. They'd go up a few notches in my book.

Dorsey said...

I realize I might get slammed uncontrollably for saying this, but I'm not a Twilight fanatic, just not my genre. But this was HILARIOUS!!!! And I can TOTALLY see this going down that way!!

Only thing I can't get is what is up with Pattinson's hair?!?! I recorded his appearance on Ellen and stuck it up on youtube and couldn't get over his "I just woke up and rolled out of bed" look. I just wanted to escort him to the nearest hairdresser!!! Ugh!

Swirl Girl said...

Sadly, they will go the way of Bobby Sherman - once their voices actually change.

Tenakim said...

Lindsey Lohan??? What about Happy Hour Sue?

Aleta said...

Lol. Love the conversation - you'd never think men would try to be model perfect, eh?

Aubrey said...

This cougar is having some MAY-JAH hot flashes now. Whoa. Look at the hotties! Can I say that word? Too old? Yeah.

Cassie said...

I'm with you. Another near 40-something drooling over Edward, er...I mean, Rob Pattinson.

michelle said...

Sat down with my ipod blasting twilight soundtrack to check in on happy hour sue... yup. I am that sad, and she is that frickin hysterical. I love that I am not the only 30-something obsessed with a fictional character!

Janah @ So Not Mom-a-licious said...

Yummy...
I wonder how long those rings will last. Kind of like when Britany kept plugging her virginity story. Riiiight!

kel said...

That is too freaking hilarious! Better yet.. have them call Paris Hilton.. they'll be skank-tified in no time.

jill jill bo bill said...

I will take the Brothers Jonas over Pattinson anyday.

Julie said...

Those boys may also want ot visit some type of professional eyebrow artist 'cuz they look like they have catapillars over their eyes!

Just sayin'

Linda S said...

Sue, you can totally handle them all...I mean there are 7 days in a week for gosh sake...

rusty said...

Nope, I think they are of age lol!

sassy stephanie said...

Brighter bolder colors. Luv it.

Amanda C. Bee said...

I just found your blog and I have to say that I love it.

whentheworldstops said...

I wonder what the heck is wrong with me that I'm 35-freakin'-years-old and I'm infatuated with one Robert Pattinson, a.k.a Edward Cullen. Am I sick, or twisted, or demented, or what? I read that Mr. Pattinson thinks Tina Fey is incredibly sexy. She's older than me, so maybe there's hope! ;)

Sarah said...

I am about to piss my pants. You are too funny.