Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Ask and You Shall Receive

Sometimes the Blog Block Gods just smile down upon you.

I'm sitting at my computer this morning, pondering what to ramble on about and I hear this 'tick-tick-flutter' sound.





OK..... you don't see that every day. There's a bird in my office. 

Just chillaxin', popping around.


As usual, the Guard Poodle is right on it with the heightened senses and instincts of a vicious predator.




So I thought this might be an opportune time to take a shot of my office, what with both my favorite J.J.'s on display, BG, and the added wildlife: (click to enlarge)




The audio for this scene was something along the lines of:

Bird: 'Sup.

Guard Poodle: I'm thinking of possibly coming over there.

Bird: Bring it, bitch.

BG: That bird is trippin', yo!  Y'all better bounce, G, for realz.

Guard Poodle: I'm going to see if there's any toast in my bowl, then I'll be back.

Bird: Your mama'll be back.




Thank you, Blog-Block Gods.



66 comments:

Just Stephanie said...

Amazing...not that the dog didn't eat the bird, but that you actually do hang out with Bathtub Gangster. And Joan Jett...

Hope you were able to help the bird outside without injury to you, the dog, the bird or the house.

Terri said...

saw this and thought of you...especially around 1:50 and the last 20 seconds.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbGKfdKDiLI

your secret identity has been uncovered.

Julie said...

Aaaaaaaaaaaahhahahahahahahhahahaha

OMG. Stop. As a person with a horrific fear of birds (I don't care how small), I would pass out if I turned around and saw one in my house.

But the pictures and the conversation had me laughing so hard I forgot all about my fears.

Tenakim said...

Wierd- how'd he get in there? We have a wildlife problem here and I never deal with it well- lizards, snakes, coyotes, raccoons- animals freak me out!

The Mom said...

The bird wasn't all flighty and panicked or anything? Are the animals in your area all on Xanax?!

With our Indian Summer we just have a butt load of flies and ants. Joy.

ciara said...

lmao @ joe being on the computer. that email you sent me the other day had my laughing so hard. i did enjoy shaking his tight ass though (can you tell i'm an ass girl? lol) and NO, i didn't show it to my daughter. hehe

wow, excellent guard poodle btw. :)

just like mom here, flies and ants up the wazoo!

amelia bedelia said...

At least it was a nice bird. I had a bird in my house one time, that was not nice at all!!

Feener said...

every part of this post is hysterical. thank you.

Leslie said...

Nice guard poodle. Can't believe s/he was chillin' while there was a bird hopping around. Hilarious!

Threeboys1mommy said...

Some girls get a call from CNN, some girls get a bird in their office... and other girls don't get s**t! Eff you blog block gods!

TentCamper said...

Damn....You are freaking hillarious.

I love it. Keep that dog chained up ok?

Drowsey Monkey said...

This is why I have cats.

Susan said...

You are so hilarious! Good thing you had to dog to protect you from that wild animal!

Swirl Girl said...

Sharky my goldfish is one jealous muthuh effuh. For realz.

sassy stephanie said...

I'm falling more and more in love with BG everyday...does he have a bee-yatch?

Ashley. Unscripted... said...

I had to do a dramatic reading of this for The Husband. Hi-freaking-larious.

Twisted Lisa said...

Now we know the REAL Happy Hour Sue...she was the inspiration for the Carpenter's Song "Close to You"

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you...

Even Kamikaze bird died to be near you!

jill jill bo bill said...

I am with Julie up there. I would pass out. I had like 4 birds in my house and I made my husband come 2 hours out of his way and get them on four different occasions. You are way too cool and I am so hanging with you when we go to our New York shoot in 09 because they have pigeons there.

JenniBeanV said...

LOL! Do you have a license for that vicious animal of yours????

Mandy said...

Hi-larious. 'specially BG.

Alice said...

I stopped on by, but what really made me laugh out loud was your Jonas Bros. widget.

Barely legal baby.

; )

Jen said...

Thanks for the laugh. I really needed that. I am so glad that the blog gods were good to you.

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

"toast is my bowl"

Perhaps he would be a little more vicious if you fed him something other than toast. Grannies eat toast!

Mr Lady said...

Dude, I am DYING over here.

BacktoBarnwell said...

How did you get it out???? I would have freaked b/c I am TERRIFIED of birds! Yeah I'm a pansy!

Emily said...

That was so damn funny. That would really spice things up at the Ol' One's Not So Lonely Pad. That and a cosmo.

Blessings From Above said...

You are just so sweet like Snow White...working away with your animals all around you. Although Snow White just had dwarf's around her - which is not nearly as cool as a BG.

That Crazy Mom said...

Yeah, I'll just go hang out over there in the corner with Julie and Jill because I would freak the eff out if a bird was in my house. I'd rather deal with a spider or mouse than a bird.

Especially if the bird had his face painted up like a clown. The only thing worse than birds are clowns.

I blame Alfred Hitchcock and Stephen King for my bizarre phobias.

Me said...

My cat would eat the crap out of that bird.

Shannon said...

Damn! I luvs me some BG. That pimp never disappoints.

Caroline said...

That is crazy! At least it was alive...unlike the kamikaze bird you found on your porch!

Jennifer said...

"Your mama'll be back." LOL!!

Can you have the blog-block gods send some birds (really any wildlife will do) to my house? I got nothin' this week...

Lipstick said...

Oh this is beyond hysterical. I cackled out loud. Hopefully I didn't wake up any children.

Insane Mama said...

Whats with you and the random birds? This one and the kamakaze one.

Merrie said...

I just read that all to my husband, who found it amusing but gave me the usual blank stare. Shocker.
You crack me up woman!
"Bring it, bitch."
I'm so easy to please.

Lisa-licious said...

Beyotch!...I just woke my kids up by laughing too loudly!!!! You SLAY me! "I love rock and roll", and I love your blog! Keep it up, Blogger Idol!

proseandconverse said...

This was friggin A+. Keep up the great work... I need something to keep me entertained for the next 713 days.

But since you have BG AND you're funnier than me, you totally get first dibbs on Joe.

leigh said...

joan jett! i knew i liked you.

Gettysburg Mom said...

First there was a trash talking hamster. Now a trash talking bird. I think BG is a negative influence on the animals around your house.

Heinous said...

You should rent that bird out to other bloggers. As for the poodle...

Val said...

omg....what is with you. Blog fodder must follow you around!

Love it though....still cannot believe the dog didn't chase the bird!

~Steph said...

I had a bird in my house earlier this summer!! Took us several hours to get the damn thing out!! Freaked me out a bit, actually. Hope you got it out!

Mama Dawg said...

You know, that bird totally looks like it has 'tude.

mommaof4wife2r said...

what in the world??? crazy!!!

and, i love joan jett!

Petra said...

Haha, your dog is a lot like my dog, I guess! except my dog would probably try to lick the bird, like she does with the FedEx guy, the mailman and the Jehovah's Witnesses that frequent our front step.

Debbie said...

Oh Sue...how I've missed you on my 'blog-cation'....you need a talk show...seriously...you don't need writers...you can do it yourself...

Blondie said...

My cat drug in a bird a few months ago--and it was just hoppin' around the dining room. For whatever reason---it scared the crap outta me! Having learned as a child to NEVER touch a bird (why??? I don't know!) I tossed my salad spinner over it--so it was like in a cage. After calming down, I slid a piece of cardboard under the bird/salad spinner and put him on the deck. Bye bye birdie! Then proceeded to run the salad spinner through the dishwasher three times!

So, the question begs--how'd you get the bird out?

Wayne said...

Nice! If that were my house, you'd see a bunch of fur flying and meowing happening....and then crunch.

Sad...ever so sad. Did the bird make it out safely? Did it at least do a tap-dance on your forehead? Could have been one of those 'happy' birds, ya know...

Raging Dad said...

See, this is why we have cats in our house. My cats would eat that bird right up, yum yum. Although, then I'd have to have a talk with the kids about why the feather sandwich, so maybe YEAH, good to have a passive dog!

georgie said...

You.Complete.Me!

KSK said...

my labrador is on a par with your dog: killer machine yo.

so did any of you eat it for dinner?

KSK said...

backtrack - what IS it with your house and birds? positively Hitchcockian.

Shelley said...

There's nothing I like better than a smack-talking bird. He and BG should get along like dawgs. Bird-wise, of course.

Aubrey said...

Ah Man! If only the Blog Block Gods were on my side today.

Love it!

"your mama'll be back."
classic

Linda S said...

That's funny...when I have Blog Block I sometimes open the door and let in the wildlife too just for fun! Glad no wildlife (BG or otherwise) was harmed in the making of this post.

jaime said...

now this is some funny shit right here- wouldn't expect anything less!

Tiffany said...

Hysterical. I love it when the blog gods drop a sweet morsel right in your lap!

Ann said...

You have a very dignified sounding poodle there.
How cool to find a sweet little bird in your office! (I'm sure this must mean something in the 'symbolism world'.
For some reason we have had birds fly down our chimney and end up in our fireplace. It's an insert type and no, it wasn't going.
But it sure is freaky to hear that "click-click" sound coming from your fireplace in the morning!

I am Boymom said...

"Ya'll Better bounce G, for realz." BG's got GP's back! That's hysterical! I'm with Beth...feed the dog some meat once in awhile!!

mammadawg.com said...

lol - I have MISSED your crazy ass posts!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

LMAO! Everyone would be trying to eat it here. Actually I'd probably only have a bird in my house if the cat brought it in.

sista #2 said...

BG rocks

Practically Joe said...

That dog's not right ... You should invite Cesar Millan over to straighten him out.

preppy little dress said...

hilarious!

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time! Thanks for the laugh!!

Red Cup Mom said...

Seriously. A bird in your office. WTF, indeed. Your dog is hilarious too. Heinous was so right -- you get that award and all the others bestowed upon you.