Thursday, July 24, 2008

Words I Made Up



In the grand tradition of Sniglets, "words that should be in the dictionary but aren't", I have some new additions.


namenesia (naym-nee'-sha) n. 
The horrifying moment when you are having a conversation with an acquaintance, and a third person joins in, expecting you to introduce your friend but you've completely blanked on their name.


spreeject (spree'-jekt) n. 
An item that gets jettisoned in the check-out line after a shopping spree because it didn't make the "do I really need this" cut.


goldfissure (gold'-fizshur) n.
The after-effect of someone stepping on a goldfish cracker that makes it exponentially harder to clean up than when it was whole.


momstroke (mom'-stroke) n.
The swimming style exclusive to mothers enabling them to swim while keeping their hair dry.


purge-atory (purr'-ja-tor-y) n.
The state of limbo for school memos, kids doodles, scribbled phone numbers, and Chuck E. Cheese prizes wherein they get kept in the kitchen until you decide it's time for the garbage.


dechapication (dee-chap-i-kay'-shun) n. The decapitation of a chapstick into it's own cap.


fauxflection (fow-flek'-shun) n.
The extremely pleasing and flattering reflection of yourself in a mirror that makes you look skinnier than you really are.


girdlelock (gir'-dl-lok) n.
The exasperating realization in the ladies room at a formal event when you need to pee badly, but have rendered it impossible with Spanx and "Shape-Wear".




47 comments:

Lipstick said...

Love them all, but since I have personally experienced girdlelock, I vote for that one as the best!

Mindy said...

I just recently found your blog--did you make all these up! I can relate to every one!

mammadawg.com said...

LOL - girl, you had me at namenesia.

Swirl Girl said...

Classic sniglets my dear!

When my brother in law Steven is getting all in touch with his feminine side I call him Progesteban.

Natalie said...

these are great! and i can relate! i love the way your mind works!

Tenakim said...

I think you have a calling for a future with 'Webster' when you grow up!

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

I can relate to all of them except girdlelock. Formal event? What's that??

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

Absolutely hilarious and so true - each and every one of them. I'm especially fond of purge-atory and girdlelock!

Debbie said...

I can relate to EVERY stinkin one of these... Ah, I can start my day now, I've had a good old fashioned laugh at "happy hour" this morning...now I need a diet coke.

Brittany said...

These words are perfectly suited to my lifestyle! You are a genius!

Kerry said...

I experienced namenesia just the other day!! It was so embarassing. They don't let me out in public much thank god. :-)

Jen said...

those are so funny and so true. love it!

Mama Dawg said...

I LOVE those!!!!!

Alice said...

ROFL - and for girdlelock - when you pray to the gods that the door to the toilet doesn't accidentally open and people see the travesty of all this stuff pushed up over your hips or around your ankles.

Your pee purse killed too! Why in the hell would they make you carry it and not just put it through the magic window?

Kelly said...

haha thats funny..I am still trying to work on my momstroke..

Tiffany said...

I like dechapication. Haven't we all done that? And I just wrote a post about southern sayings and I didn't want you to think I copied you. I didn't. But thats not saying i won't in the future. LOL

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

They are all great. I am very familiar with purge-atory and spreeject. Love them all.

Deanna said...

Submit them to Webster! If Crackberry can be admitted... these are a shoe in!

Merrie said...

Purge-atory -- you just described half of my kitchen counter. What is WITH that? And how glad am I to know I'm not the only one?

Caroline said...

This is the best! Wish I was creative that way!

The Mom said...

Sniglets....yes I remember those..what were they on?? Was it a TV show??

These are fantastic...I always have girdlelock at weddings...and I usually drink too much at them so it's a terrible issue!

Goldfish crackers are the devil.

I love my fauxflection...i'm so pretty.

Marla said...

i'm ready to start the petition to websters...

ali said...

Purge-atory! In my house I refer to it as "box o'crap"!

Coco said...

Don't forget the purge-atory of the bottom of the big purse! I probably have 2 year old receipts from Target down in there...

Jodi said...

I used to LOVE Sniglets. Two I have carried around in my head for years are:

Enddig - When the Scotch tape gets stuck to itself and you use your fingernail to try to get it started again.

Napjerk - When you are juuuuust drifting off to sleep and your entire body spasms, waking you up.

Wendy said...

hey, you've got your own Learn-A-Word Wednesday going on! :)

Heather said...

*bowing down* You, madame, are a genius!

Thanks for the best laugh I've had all week! :D

jaime said...

wow! namenesia just happened to me a few weeks ago as i was intruding my BEST friend whom i see like every friggin day to someone and i blanked. it was so bad.

something JUST happened to me and I want to know if you can give it a Sniglet cuz it was hilarious! I was calling a "Lisa" in my cell and it took me like 5 mins thru the convo to realize it was the wrong Lisa...i was so embarrassed i put her on hold for a minute to gather my thoughts (and stop myself from just hanging up) and figure out what the hell to say to get myself outta the situation!

Ann said...

I believe I have mastered the "momstroke".
And, no matter how I try, I have a "purge-atory" pile in the kitchen.
Now, where can I get one of those "fauxflection" mirrors?
This list is fantastic! You are truly talented.

Shannon said...

I totally just stumbled onto your blog ~ thank you for this list!! =) It is absolutely too funny! If you have any others, I'd love to see what they are!

Jennifer said...

Really funny stuff!!

I have been making of fun of my mom's momstroke for years--but now it appears I'm perfecting it!

sista #2 said...

I've got the momstroke perfected. In fact, I will be on the olympic momstroke team. Look for me.

peace
#2

Wendi said...

You. are. a. genius.
They should all be in Websters.

wehave9 said...

Too funny! We are always coming up with these too. But I am evidently having "snignesia" because I can't think of one right now!

Shieldmaiden96 said...

My spreejects usually get put back where I got them because I feel horrible guilt about abandoning them elsewhere or making someone else reshop them.

I would also submit that a momstroke is that ability to smack you in the back seat without looking. Mine never missed.

Ramblin' Red said...

All of these are brilliant - but I am especially fond of Gold Fissure and fauxflection.

Jen said...

I have had namenesia and goldissure happen to me many times and let me tell ya, it isn't pretty.

Meg said...

Too funny. I'm a totally momstroker myself.

And love the t-shirt!

TUTU Monkey said...

I can always count on laughing all though your posts!!

I have nameneisa!!

I am Boymom said...

I am so NOT worthy to read your blog! You have proven your humor, wit and creativity to be unsurpassable once more. Touche, Madam...touche.

Veggie Mom said...

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McMommy said...

Goldfissure is my minivan floor.

Spreeject happens all the time to me in Target. "I changed my mind about this one." as I hand the item back to the cashier...

TONYA said...

You rock. I now have words for all of these annoying little things that would take a sentence to describe.

JenniBeanV said...

Those were great! Have you been in my kitchen and seen the purge-atory tems?

KD @ A Bit Squirrelly said...

My favorite is namenesia...brilliant!

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

WAY TOO FUNNY!!!!!

I thought as a fellow Blogicon winner, and with such similar names, I would come over and introduce myself! Can wait to read more!!!

Shannon said...

I do the momstroke all the time!