So I'm in the market for a new purse. On account of I spilled urine in mine. Don't you hate when that happens?
Come on, you're saying, you're making this up. No: this would be the freak-show that is my life.
I'm at the doctor yesterday and she needs a urine sample. So I know the drill...little wipette packet, plastic cup, lid, yada yada.
Come out when I'm done and the nurse says to go back to the waiting room. With my pee.
So, thinking I am the world's most brilliant non-embarrassed patient, I tuck the sample into my purse and take a seat in the waiting room.
My name is called, I follow the nurse to room #2, go to pull out my expertly-concealed sample and - ........the cup is empty.
The nurse and I simultaneously realize what has happened. She looks completely horrified like this is going into next month's medical journal. I give a "what-EVER" sigh and begin to take things out, one by one, from the Black Hole of Trash that is my purse and begin to wipe them off.
One of the things was this: a check written to me from May that has gum stuck to the back:
Let me say this:
When urine is not your biggest Purse Problem, you need to re-evaluate your life.