Monday, June 28, 2010

I'm Not Photoshopping the Wiener Out

First of all, that is just the greatest post title ever.

Here's what happened.

I'm having my kitchen painted (yay!) and my D-bag Giant Schnauzer decides to run through the paint tray (boo...) so I take a picture of him:




















Yeah.

So the question becomes: Do I import the photo into Photoshop and deal with the situation or do I say screw it.

Exactly. So there you have it: my dog covered in paint...and other stuff. (*sigh*)



In other Awesome Pet News.... my husband totally caved in to the 9 year old and let her get two hermit crabs .. They came with this pamphlet....see if you spot the problem.

















For the love of God.

36 comments:

Tahoe Girl said...

Don't stress over the hermit crabs, ours were taking a "sand nap" within 6 months....

Anonymous said...

If your Dog stays like that he may get crabs.

So...How is the painting going?

♥Georgie♥ said...

yep i agree with Tahoe Girl ours lasted about 6months too...I am giggling over the doggie penis...but I am easily amused...

Jazz said...

I lost my comment when I read Anonymous's (damn meno brain).

I sat there giggly hysterically while people walked by my desk thinking I'm insane.

Jessi said...

Yeah, don't worry about that 20 year thing. You'll be lucky for them to live 6 months (some of ours nosedived before that point even). Good luck!

Bad Christy said...

They only actually live that long if they're on a tropical island somewhere. And they become creepy/weird big (think Pirates of the Caribbean). Had one, knew how to take care of them, or so I thought. Didn't take 6 months for them to croak. Just imagine how long it will take for a 9 year old to kill them.

And dog penii...
my niece used to call it "his lipstick".

*K* said...

My sister and I had a good many hermit crabs in our day...and they all lasted about two months, until they're supposed to switch shells, they just never could make the big move successfully!
We have a dog with an inappropriate penis as well. It's amazing we don't have more photos like yours!

I Am Boymom said...

Don't photoshop it...save it for when the dog starts dating and you can whip out the pic to embarrass him when he gets his first girlfriend.

trifitmom said...

we too just broke and got a hermit crab......

Miss Yvonne said...

The wiener took this post from average to awesome.

p.s. $10 the hermit crabs don't make it to labor day.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Whose legs are those!? (not the dog's)

Shawna Nicholson said...

yep... the crabs will be dead within less than a year. BOTH of ours were. I will say the "mall cart" one lasted a couple months longer than the chain pet store one. :)

Cathie said...

I had at one time 5 hermit crabs. We had a huge one and 4 little ones. The huge crab waited until the little one molted and then ate them. YES ATE THEM. That big crab lived for almost 4 years before he went to sand heaven.

I just enjoy the weiner photo

Anonymous said...

知道他有了外遇
面對他的低聲下氣妳冷嘲熱諷、無理取鬧
妳瘋狂似的大吵大鬧
甚至到他的公司去亂、向他的親友抱怨、向鄰居們哭訴…
妳把他的外遇鬧的人盡皆知
最後,妳把他的愧疚消耗殆盡…
最後,妳把他想要回頭的念頭打消…
最後,妳自己把他推向外遇的第三者身邊…

Gina @ Bella Vita said...

i just discovered your blog and love it, but i have a small problem. i catch up on my blogs in the morning before everyone wakes up. my hysterical laughter is now disturbing their sleep :P

♥ Kathy said...

1st, anonymous above gina got all fancy smancy with their oriental porn spam..gotta applaud the ingenuity.

2nd, when my SIL's dog does that her granddaughter (our niece..she's 3) says "Duke has a boo boo on his goober again! Quick! Get the bandaids!" lol

3rd, don't get too confident in sand heaven. some creatures last as long as they're supposed to..my turtle is now 22 years old..his life span is 70 - 120 years. He's already in my will. Just sayin :)

♥ Kathy said...

ps just went to google translate because my need to know is too strong.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

知道他有了外遇
面對他的低聲下氣妳冷嘲熱諷、無理取鬧
妳瘋狂似的大吵大鬧
甚至到他的公司去亂、向他的親友抱怨、向鄰居們哭訴…
妳把他的外遇鬧的人盡皆知
最後,妳把他的愧疚消耗殆盡…
最後,妳把他想要回頭的念頭打消…
最後,妳自己把他推向外遇的第三者身邊…

which means:

Know he had an affair
The face of his humble you cynical, vexatious
You shouting like crazy
Even to his company to the disorder, complaining to his friends and relatives, to neighbors cried ...
You the trouble of the well known of his affair
Finally, you run out of his guilt ...
Finally, he wants you to give up the idea back ...
Finally, you own him into an affair of the third side ...

now I'm going to click on the links to see if I can get a virus...

:)

Jenn in Tenn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenn in Tenn said...

Ok, I have an inappropriate male house-dog as well. I manage to see WAAAY more that I'd like most days. My daughter is always yelling, "Mooommmmmm, Rusty's being GROSSSSS!"
As far as the hermit crab, unless your 9 y.o. has some hidden 'Crab Whisperer' talents, I wouldn't worry.

Aria said...

The title is almost perfect; consider changing it to: I'm not Photoshopping the Wiener Out Even If It Comes Into Contact With Crabs

kate said...

We call that the "lipstick" around here...my dog is always letting his flop around. He's very slutty like that.

snekcip said...

Your blog title caught my eye while I was visiting another blog I was expecting to see some cutesy pic of a kid all dressed up w/a weiner clutched in his/her grasp!!

Totally hysterical comments!! MADE MY MORNING!!! Your schnauzer is adorable! We have a mini-schanuzer! We love her to pieces!!

foxy said...

20 years??? That's *almost* like having another kid around.

AmyLK said...

Oh no! 20 years? Ours never lived that long........

Courtney said...

Those damned hermit crabs - I was hoping for the 6 month thing, that was 4 years ago.....good luck.

handstowar said...

If you can get your hermit crab to live for 20 years then you should get your name in some record book somewhere...

sheilah said...

hehe...Aria, you are toooo funny.

sasstown said...

Our Hermit Crab lasted less than a month, couldn't take that much love.

Lisa-licious said...

My sister used to pet our German Shepherd and then run yelling to mom that "Charlie's lipstick is out". Nice. Now that I have read the other comments, turns out my sister wasn't as original as I had thought. Oh, well.

The asian stuff is freaking me out a little...just sayin'.

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

I agree with the other posters, no way will your hermit crabs last 9 months, much less years. Let them enjoy them while they last...I personally owned like 12 between the ages of 11 and 14.

Heather said...

Back when my daughter was 4, we were at one of the many, many, many festivals celebrating the canal (that'd be the Erie Canal, woohoo) that are held in my corner of NY. At this particular festival, the kid saw the booth where one tosses ping pong balls into fishbowls and wins oneself a fish. Kid asked Daddy if she could try. He agreed. On throw 6 out of 10, she had a ping pong ball go in, nothing but net. ARGH. Swimmy, the ginormous carny goldfish, not only lives despite my constant "go to the great toilet bowl in the sky" vibes, but keeps getting bigger and bigger. He's now a robust 3 year old fish in a 10 gallon tank. When it looked like he wasn't going belly up within the first week (and I begrudgingly took myself to Walmart for a 10 gallon tank, filter, gravel etc), I googled "life expectancy of a pet goldfish."

Then I fainted. Then I went and yelled at my husband all over again with the whole "What were you THINKING letting her try to win a goldfish?!?" rant.

THIRTY-FIVE YEARS. Pet goldfish can live up to THIRTY-FIVE EFFING YEARS.

I told my husband that if Swimmy is still swimming when the kid moves out for college, he is going with her. Oy.

In short, I feel your hermit crabby pain.

Anonymous said...

外遇---偷來的時間、偷來的伴侶、偷來的愛情
或許新鮮刺激,或許瘋狂美好,但這一切,終究是偷來的…
外遇傷害了一個幸福的家庭
或許你會說:問題其實早已存在,外遇並不是傷害的唯一因素
但是內心深處其實你知道,這只是外遇的藉口!
建築在傷害別人之下所得到的愛情,終究難以幸福…

Anonymous said...

顫抖著手,我拿不穩那份薄薄的離婚協議書
早知道他的出軌,癡心的守候最後他終究還是想要離婚
朋友勸我抓姦,但是我擔心他一氣之下會決裂的提出離婚要求
我愛他,願意作出一切只為挽回
所以我等、我默不吭聲、我在他面前強顏歡笑
多少夜裡,他用敷衍的藉口不歸
而我假裝相信,卻淚濕了枕頭...
顫抖著手,我拿不穩那份薄薄的離婚協議書
啞著聲音,我告訴他我絕對不會離婚去成全他們
只是,我不知道不離婚,懲罰的是他們,還是我自己...

Daddy Geek Boy said...

My hermit crab probably died a month before I noticed, bringing it's age to a ripe ol' 4 months.

Mary Ellen said...

You are pretty much my idol. And the fact that you are a CHARDONNAY swigging mom is all the better. I am local, newly married, but love the fact that there are moms out there that never lost their cool. I will now be checking your blog all the time!! Also, my dog has a simliar issue as yours, my husband and I refer to it as his lipstick. Keep on kickin ass.

Rachel Federman said...

This is a scream!!!!