Thursday, April 1, 2010

What Not to Drink in Jamaica






















Oy, am I hungover dehydrated.

Just got back from Jamaica which ROCKED.

It's actually a miracle they let us on the plane at all since I told the flight attendants at the plane door to "hold on a sec- my husband just got stopped by the dogs." Which, at the time, seemed logical to my Valium-soaked brain, but was actually a miscommunication from the 9-year-old to the 12-year-old to the 17-year-old to me.

My point being, I can't play 'telephone" when I'm wasted.

Anyhoo.

IF you go to Jamaica and IF you see someone order a "rum punch" and IF you ask the bartender what's in it and they say "rum and fruit juice"?

What they really mean is "dark rum, light rum, 151 rum, and magical Jamaican alcohol-hiding juice."

Because if you had known THAT, you wouldn't have slammed down 2 in a row then decided you had to participate in "Reggae Dance Lessons" because goddammit you have rhythm so how hard could it be.

In retrospect, the dance instructors were probably hoping for a dance style influenced by


















But they got



43 comments:

Megs said...

Completely irrelevant, and please don't find me creepy...

I need to put on a bathing suit in 2 months and don't look half that good in it (you have 3 kids! I have...0 kids!)

To get to the point: what the hell do you do to get a stomach like that?

♥ Kathy said...

You look great wasted or not :)

Jazz said...

OK, I want those abs.

SueMac said...

I'm sorry, what did you say? All I noticed were your smokin' hot abs! I'm going to print that picture and post it on my fridge.... those abs are my new goal! :)

Eunice said...

Haha that ladies face is priceless. But yea..who cares..you look freakin awesome in that bikini!

Southern Gal said...

You look AMAZING in that bathing suit! Kudos!

Melissa said...

That picture is priceless.

And holy crap - your abs are smokin! Totally jealous.

sheilah said...

I love the expression on the woman next to you while you are doing your ElaineFromSeinfeld interpretation.

But, damn...what a six-pack. I totally hate you.

3 Peanuts said...

Yes, you do look GREAT like all the others said...but the best is the look on the faces of the people behind you as you are dancing...but girl you look like you've got rhythm drunk and all!

3 Peanuts said...

P.S. Now I know why you have not been blogging as much...it is all those hours with the personal trainer....and it has paid off!

Loveable Loser said...

Awwwwsome....absolutely Awwwwsome.

Pink in a sea of blue said...

This post cracked me up (especially the bubbles on the last photo). Only because I was tricked into that rum punch when I went to Jamaica. They're all so friendly down there. How could you not believe them? Your abs do rock! Dang!

Smart A$$ Mom said...

Ugh, sorry. It's Holy Thursday and I called you a whore and even signed in under something else.

McMommy said...

HOLY ABS!!!!!!!! I AM DYING!!!!!!!

I seriously didn't even read anything you wrote. I just looked at your body and then looked at mine and am crying into a pile of raw cookie dough right now.

Brittany said...

wow- a body like that after babies? my ass needs to get to the gym bc I have no excuse. But Jamaica looks awesome. And those people bank on drunk tourists attracting more people to their game. You actually did them a favor.

Keyona said...

Damn girl! You look good! No way you have kids! Imposter! LOL!!

Lee Vandeman said...

Okay. Who are you? You need to completely refocus here and become a fitness guru blogger chick. I'm with everyone else....what exactly did you DO to look so awesome?

And hell yes. That last pic is friggin' classic and made my night!!! I'm cracking up !!!

HappyHourSue said...

You guys are so crazy- this really wasn't supposed to be a "look at my abs" post LOL but to answer your question: CROSSFIT!!!!!!!!! Changed my body in like 6 months. For realz. The workouts are crazy-hard but short- like under a half hour.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufVcD2_2dXg

Kurt said...

You look like you've got some Elaine Bennis in you, Twinkle Toes.

"Miss Bee" said...

I want to be you when I grow up.

BQ said...

hahaha, Im takin full credit for those abs!!! Look good sue!

Dezzy Lou Where Are You said...

Your bod is amazing! way to go you!

PaperCourt said...

When your abs look that good, you can get away with drunk dancing.

Bar-b said...

1. love your excuse to pose those smokin' pictures of you. "I'm retelling my Jamaica trip". Riiight. You look incredible! Great, now I have another bloggy crush ;)

2. love the rum trifecta.

3. again, you make me lol.

emptynest4two said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kelliebean said...

I'd totally hate you for having those abs, but you dance like Tiffany, so I feel better now.

.jimaie.marie. said...

you are hilarious and those abs are RIDICULOUS, you're body is SMOKIN hot woman!
I just watched, no scratch that, cringed my way through that Crossfit video you posted and have gained a -tremendous- amount of respect for you. I mean, I loved you a bushel and a peck before all this but now?
NOW YOU ARE MY IDOL.

Nuke Girl said...

Omg, the last picture sent me into absolute spasms of laughter!!! Who cares? You'll never see them again, and I doubt you're either the first OR the worst. ;P

Oh yeah, and at the risk of sounding like a GD echo...

NICE ABS!

Yesss said...

Haha that looks like you had fun though!
BTW I saw this video the other day and immediately thought of your weekend videos: I bring you Mambo Dog
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkuK9vhLczQ

S said...

Add me to the list of people who only saw your ripped abs in this post. You look amazing!

Katie said...

This post was the best! The last picture? Nearly wet myself.

See? That's what I get for having five kids. If I'd stopped at three, would I still look like you?

Marinka said...

Will you please get in shape? This is what's wrong with America!

(Ok, so I just didn't want to parrot everyone else's comment. My original comment was going to be that I'd drink a gallon of that stuff if I got to look like you after!)

Lisa-licious said...

There are no words. At least I know that if I have any laundry to do at BlogHer, that I can scrub them on your abs! I will now go into my garage and turn on my P90X video with new inspiration! Wow. No words.

Mama H said...

Ummm... I think that chick was actually saying "How in the hell can I get a bod like that??!?!"

Cause that's what I am wondering...

Bad Christy said...

I hope like hell you photoshopped your abs like you photoshopped in the thought bubbles because otherwise I hate you!

BousMama said...

Damn girl! I want those abs! You can drink rum punch AND dance like Tiffany when you have abs like that!

zachary said...

OKay so everybody commented on your abs and i'm not going there..but hey did you do like a 1000 sit-ups a day? I don't even have 1% of that, only a beer belly lol...
You got some moves there woman!

cheers

April said...

Hot Mama! All that matters is that you fun! You are definitely my kinda girl!! LOL!

Sarah said...

Dang lady...your body is ROCKIN! Glad you had a great time in Jamaica!

ed petrie jr said...

abs are hot,

Swirl Girl said...

You look fantastic !!

kwr221 said...

If that's what rum punch does to your abs, I'm officially turning in my chardonnay glass, lol

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