Thursday, October 22, 2009
You know how it sucks to have a boss that's a know-it-all retard and never listens to your suggestions?
That's how my car GPS feels about me.
GPS: "In about 1 mile, bear right onto...US...Route 1 South."
Me: That makes no sense.
GPS: "In about 500 feet..bear right onto US...Route 1 South."
Me: Screw that.
GPS: "Please bear right."
Me: Shut up.
GPS: "Please make a legal U-turn, if possible."
Me: Just relax. I know what I'm doing.
GPS: (auto re-routing) "Christ."
GPS: "I said "Christ". Now I have to freakin' re-route you AGAIN."
Me: I've lived here for 3 years. This is NOT the quickest way to the mall.
GPS: "My brain is a digital map of the entire country based on a satellite in SPACE. Bitch."
Me: Your MOTHER is a satellite.
GPS: "Please turn right."
GPS: "There's a gym up here. You need that more than the mall."
Me: Brrrring! Hello? It's for you: It's Al Gore: he wants his personality back.
GPS: "1992 called: it wants its haircut back."
Me: Google Earth wants you to stop stalking him on Facebook.
GPS: "You have arrived at your destination."
GPS: "Right there - Weight Watchers of Chester County."
Me: Ha. Where the f*ck am I.
Posted by HappyHourSue at 10:14 AM