OK. A few weeks ago I said to myself, "Self? It's time to lose the baby weight." and my self said, "You mean since the baby's in second grade?" and I said "Yes."
So I narrowed it down to three options.
#1 Wii Fit.
#2 Ab Roller.
Hold your comments.
So he tells me I need to come in first for an "FMS" and I say 'What is that: Fat Mom Situation?' and he says, No, Functional Movement Screen.
So I go in and he says, "Yeah, I've seen you in better shape."
And I think briefly of saying that FMS could also mean Foot Meets Scrotum but decide against it.
But I persevere because I am awesome and a trooper. At the second session he says, "Lie on your belly" and I say "My stomach?" and he says "That's not a stomach yet."
Dude. Could a girl get some euphemisms up in here? : "We're gonna do some fine tuning"...."We're gonna take your fitness to the next level"......??????
I'm thinking a little less marine boot camp, a little more...