No blogging, Twitter, Facebook, email, Gmail, YouTube, Google, smutty Twilight fanfic, or Fox News.
Sorry I didn't schedule posts ahead of time or line up an awesome guest-poster but...well, I'm just not that organized.
So you'll be super-impressed that I flew from Philly to Arizona and back without a single panic attack due to my superior self-medicating skillz:
I honestly don't remember going through security because my drug and alcohol regime begins on the drive to the airport, but my husband tells me I got singled out and patted down.
Hmmmm. Wonder if my "Terrorist Do's and Don'ts " post put me on some sort of watch list. Which would be excellent, as we know, in keeping with my plan to get Michelle Obama to read my blog.
Anyhoo, the whole sedated-like-I've-been-shot-with-an-elephant-tranquilizer thing is really working for me....with one tiny possible problem.
If we crashed but survived?.... like the Hudson plane? I might not be totally on top of the situation.
Stewardess: MA'AM! We have to evacuate NOW!
Me: THAT was a rough landing.
Stewardess: MA'AM! This is an emergency evacuation! You have to get out of the plane!
Me: I ordered a screwdriver like 20 minutes ago. And peanuts.
Stewardess: MA'AM you have to get out now!
Me: Hold up...My flip-flops are waaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy under this dude's seat.
Miracle Plane Crash: 147 Survivors, 1 Missing