Sunday, October 5, 2008

The Jerk Goes to Target


This is me, shopping at Target:











Shopping objective: 1 tea kettle: $15

Actual purchase: 1 tea kettle, 3 laundry baskets, 1 pair flip-flops, 2 pair kids' sneakers, 1 pack men's socks, 1 sports bra, 3 dish towels, 1 bathroom rug, 3 tank tops on sale, 1 pair sunglasses, 2 pair earrings, 1 set margarita glasses, 1 photo album, 1 clock radio, 2 birthday cards, 3-pack scotchtape, 1 fall wreath, 2 pumpkin candles and 1 candy bowl with moving creepy hand that says "Happy Halloween":
                                            $249.85.  
                                     That's all I need.

71 comments:

San Diego Momma said...

What, no Ped-Egg?

The Mom said...

My visits to Target end up the same way!!

Caroline said...

Yep...same thing happens to me...except, I always forget to buy the 2 things I went there for and end up with $250 of stuff I don't need! Target is genius!

Jenni Jiggety said...

I love that movie and I seem to have a similar problem when I go to Target. Except I do manage to keep my pants on...

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

Ughhhh, they're as bad as Costco!

The Nice One said...

First: Thanks for that blog link. That sort of simple design is what I'm after. Rock on.
Next: That is PRECISELY why I have banned myself from target. It's so hard. Right now I am having Target withdrawals. I am about to look through the Sunday circular, which will trigger the shakes and possibly some drooling. It's not a pretty thing....

Keely said...

That is exactly what happens to me at Wal Mart.
We don't have a Target here, I have to settle for Wally World. Which means I only spend $70 instead of $250, and I get stuff that is twice as crappy.

Kathy said...

Happens to the best of us.

jaime said...

that's where i have to go to today...and also why i go w/ only cash on me...and a certain amount. therefore i won't go crazy

amelia bedelia said...

I know!!! me + you = target junkies. that was dumb, sorry.

Crayl said...

Yep, my daughter and I agree...that's about right.

Linda S said...

I was born a poor black child too and seem to have the same Target problems you do!

Lisa said...

I love that scene in The Jerk. I say that all the time. All I need is one piece of chocolate. And a cookie. Thats all I need one piece of chocolate and a cookie. And a slice of cake. And maybe a scoop of ice cream....

I find it 100% impossible to go to Target and NOT spend over $100.00

Mom Taxi Julie said...

LOL funny how that works!

Lindsay said...

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Sarah said...

Amen sister. It's an addiction... 4 days after c-section with first daughter, where was I? At Target. It's sick, really, because I have created 2 Target Monsters. They could be addicted to, yanno, Macy's or something though, so I'm looking on the positive side...

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

That is how Target stays in business ;)
I feel lucky if I can get out for under $100--even when I go for 'just' dental floss!

ciara said...

i do this same thing, but luckily it only ends up being about $100 in shit i don't need.

Sharon said...

My husband says Target has a $100 cover charge----if he's lucky!

Mrs. Haid said...

My Target visits are exactly the same, I have to space mine out!

Shannon said...

It's a law that you can't leave Target without buying 12 things you didn't intend on getting when you first walked in...

Diva Ma said...

LOVE that movie! That's the way I shop. And I get to the register thinking, Now did I really need those cute little undies for Miss Missy to add to her thousand of others?

Lynette said...

That's because Target is the devil. And it's out to get you (and me...They built one less than a MILE from my house...send help...)

Deb said...

Same thing for me!!! It is just ridiculous. I keep telling myself the next time will be different, but it never is.

Bar-b said...

brilliant Jerkish of you..

I do believe (i do) that there is an emission of nicotine/crack (depending on the location of the target) that flows through the vents at this place.

sassy stephanie said...

Oh man. I'm with ya. For me, Sam's Wholesale is the same way.

My hubby tells me Home Depot is "his Target".

Amy said...

Hilarious!

That's how I am when I go there too! I think it may be an illness.

Candice said...

I actually went to Target today in an attempt to buy a Halloween costume for my daughter. We had zero luck finding anything and as we were walking out my 5 yr old son said

"Wait, we can't leave! We don't have anything in the cart yet!!!!"

Yes, I managed to make it out of Target without spending a dime. I'm still somewhat in shock. I think that was a first for me.

Jen said...

what is it about Target that gets us to buy all this stuff that we didn't think we needed.

Lauren said...

Why I don't shop!

Jennifer said...

LOL--I always do the "Jerk" routine at Target too. Halloween time is worst-- can't get out of there w/out a zombie or 2!

Petra said...

Yes, Target is evil and gives me an orgasm at the very same time.

Sounds a lot like most of my ex-boyfriends...

Mike Wilton said...

Target gets me every time. The wife and I will walk in to get a couple items and then we get sucked into buying 500 other things that we find on sale or on clearance that we "need".

The Microblogologist said...

The fact that you came out with the tea kettle puts you ahead of me!

Threeboys1mommy said...

I blame Target for our current financial crisis.

I was born a poor black man.... best movie ever!

Emily said...

That's what Target is for. Something about Target makes me feel as if I have to spend money there. Whatever they do, they do well.

Amy said...

I would have ended up with the same stuff -- except since it's October, would have added a bag of mallowcreme pumpkins and one Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkin.

jill jill bo bill said...

You forgot the cat litter.

Blessings From Above said...

Same thing happens to me with Target. Except, I usually get so carried away buying things I really don't need, that I forget to buy whatever it is I went to Target for in the first place. Which means a return trip. It's all a very vicious cycle!

Cheryl said...

How does this happen......and why does it happen to so many of us? The item I need is typically at the back of the store---great marketing ploy, Target!

I hate it...well, my wallet hates it...I love unpacking those bags of goodies from Target. Then I go back for more abuse.

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

So right there with you, in fact, I just posted about my need to join a 12 step Target program last night!

Why is it that a trip for "a couple of things" turns out to be everything we didn't KNOW we needed but had to have?

DH and I joke that Target has a $100 cover charge!

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

You are a no-reply blogger! I cannot respond to your post via email!!!

The strangest thing about our weird connection is that I just posted a comment on YOUR Target post, probably as you were reading mine!

shoot me an email at mommylearnstoblog (at) gmail (dot) com.

I'm on my way to FB to request you as my friend!

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

BTW, I feel like a celebrity, what with the uber-cool Happy Hour Sue leaving a most on my little blog!

Wheezer said...

Check this out...

http://wheezerscheeze.blogspot.com/2008/05/things-i-am-looking-forward-to-back-in.html

My love for Tar-jay knows no boundaries.

Heinous said...

That's one of my favorite movie scenes of all time. We are Targetless in my town. Pity me.

Heidi said...

I am happy there are no Targets up here in Canada. That place is the black hole I tell ya!

The Golf Widow said...

Oh how I love Target! At least you actually went for something you need, my trips are 99% want based.

Tenakim said...

I went in for a notebook that I was short for school supplies. It was back to school time and school supplies were in th very back corner of the store. As I walked through the housewares, the children's department, health and beauty, and cleaning supplies, I was thinking "it's back to school, if they were smart they would put it right in the front of the store!" Then as I checked out with my notebook and 20 other items, I realized hey are waaaay smarter than me!

Rachel said...

What is it with Target....I call it the $100 store; can't get in and out without spending atleast $100 bucks!

Blondie said...

Well...give yourself some props, girl! The tank tops were on sale!!!

KD @ A Bit Squirrelly said...

See the bulls-eye really should ba a black hole because you get sucked in and can't come out. It is evil.

aleciaragland said...

that was very to add that movie clip to show how you shop. I too shop like that at Target. I think I am the reason for there success.

Loveable Loser said...

I am picking out a thermos for you, no ordinary thermos will do.

Is there a lot of Tea being consumed at your house these days?

Performance Fleece has a trainer...there will never be another EWE!

Gettysburg Mom said...

Which is exactly why I just stay home at have a cocktail instead. It's really much more cost efficient.

Gettysburg Mom said...

Ummm....should have said which is why I stay at home AND just have a cocktail instead.

One of these days, I might try proofreading BEFORE posting a comment.

Brittany said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyone who cites the Jerk is my best friend for life!

Surf Girl said...

That sounds like my trips to Target! Especially if little one is with me. I'm just impressed you came home with what you went for! :)
(Love your blog - can't remember how I got here - but definitely have to keep reading!!)

Aubrey said...

LOL
Sounds like my trip on Friday! I went to pick up a prescription. I was told to come back in 15 minutes. Even though I was with my husband (he didn't stop me!), I ended up with 2 area rugs, 2 outdoor mats, 1 comforter, 1 sheet set, and a chair & bench from their mission collection. Oh! And hair gel.

Anna Lefler said...

Oh, my God - YES. My husband doesn't know it, but I've set up a direct deposit deal - his paychecks go straight to Target. Shhh!

McMommy said...

One time I went to Target and the lady's total in front of me was something like $674.76.

It made my $50 purchase seem insignificant.

Awesome.

ali said...

Okay, I'll stop complaining that the nearest Target is an hour away!

Merrie said...

*sigh*
You're me.

Insane Mama said...

Can I please send you my guinea pig? I will buy you fancy soap in exchange.... I promise.

Jen said...

Oh my. This is so me. My trips to anywhere turn out like this.

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Amen Sista!

Jujyfruit said...

Oh, that was too funny! And so ridiculously accurate...except I would look all giddy with delight, aimlessly searching end caps and humming happy tunes (as opposed to depressed and angry like The Jerk)! :)

Love the "cover charge" quotes. My defense is always, "It's cheaper than therapy...plus, now we have toilet paper!"

Miss Marie said...

HAHA! Yeah. I thought I had escaped Target's mind-melding clutches when I moved but now a super target is opening right down the road! Oh no!

I am Boymom said...

I love this post, I loved that movie! That is our huge family joke! I have the same problem at Target, Walmart, Dollar General. We have finally realized that the price of going to the store is always the same, no matter what you buy...$100.

koopermom said...

Oh I love Target. I just happened to stop there last night for a $200 bottle of laundy detergent.(and a cart full of fun)

Jamie said...

I work at Target and I TOTALLY understand where you're coming from. Honestly the same thing happens to me too.

jeni4pina said...

omg, that is great. loves it.
i heart target. <3