Sunday, October 26, 2008

Name Evolution









So if you haven't heard, Beyonce has adopted a new name and wants her fans to refer to her from now on as "Sasha Fierce".

Um, I'm not sure if I qualify as a 'fan', but: No.  I will not be doing that.

And you can tell your partner-in-egocentricity Sean Combs  Puff Daddy  Puffy  P.Diddy   Diddy  Sean John that I am referring to him from here on as "D-bag".

So you can pretty much guess how I felt about THIS:





(sigh.)



The only time name evolution is cool is for dogs. Then it's like, inevitable.

Dog name: Duke

Dog Name Evolution:

Duke

Dukester

Sir Duke

The DukeMan

DukeMuffin

Dukinator

Duke of Fuzzingham

Fuzz

F-Bomb

The Fuzzster

Fuzzbuster

Fuzzbuster & the Fuzztones

FuzzButt

Butthead.



...and people are all: "Your dog's name is Butthead??"

and you're all: "No....'Duke'."

61 comments:

Gettysburg Mom said...

Is there any chance you're making up the Sasha Fierce part? Because I'm thinking if you're going to change your name from Beyonce, which is understandable, you'd want to pick something better.... not go even further in the the direction of ridiculous.

Jenni Jiggety said...

Ummmm...does that mean you think I shoul tell my family they don't have to call me
Sassy Jiggmeister...Princess of Blogosvia?

Because I was kind of digging it.

Southern Fried Girl said...

She's an ass, no?

Well, I have a dog - Gage and he is either Bud, Buddy or Asswipe. So yeah, for dogs, it makes sense.

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

That's kind of weird but then I like people calling me ruler of the universe ;)

Lauren said...

Seriously? WTF is the point to this stuff? Makes zero sense to me.

Kirsten said...

LOL!!! D-Bag! I love it!

Mrs de Miranda said...

what?? I did not hear that. That is the most ridiculous thing ever. Sasha Fierce? What in the world is she thinking.

Mandy said...

Geez. She must have nothing else to do other than ponder names.

Heather said...

Doesn't it make you a wee bit concerned when you think of what she and Mr. Z (I don't know him well enough to call him Jay, after all) might name future offspring......?

Oh, one of our cat's aliases is Peep McFuzz. Another is Fuzz McPeep. Neither of these have anything to do with her utterly normal, boring old name.

QuirkyLoon said...

I thought Beyonce was the name of the dryer sheets I use.

There are several scents available including: mountain spring and fresh scent.

Are you saying now there is a new scent? Sasha Fierce?

Must be cinnamony!

Aleta said...

Ha! Loved this post. I couldn't call her Sasha Fierce either.

Cute how you correlated it to dog names. I'll have to remember that and you're right, we have variations for our pets, but not the people.

nikkicrumpet said...

CRAP...you make me spit laugh everytime I come here! This post is hysterical...first because my hubby and I just had this inane conversation about her new "nickname" and how totally self absorbed these pathetic hollywood types are...and secondly: because we totally do that with our dogs! You nailed it and made me LAUGH!

Ann Onymous said...

hyuk hyuk hyuk!

Heinous said...

She could be D-baguette then!

ali said...

I can imagine her mother's reaction: "Beyonce? Who wouldn't like the name Beyonce?"

The Mom said...

OMG that is too funny, i like F-bomb best!

We totally do this with our kids nicknames! Love it! My babe is now Bluey Lewis and the News which will evolve into something new by next week.

My Boy is currently GLERM. Oldest dd is TWEETA...evolved most recently from BRAT-EETA

TUTU Monkey said...

You are too funny!! (and right)

Thanks for the laugh tonight:)

suburban psychosis said...

I have three choices

My stripper name is Ass Bandit and my pimp name is Bootylicious Luv.

Maybe I can use Beyonce, since it's not being used right now.

Miss Marie said...

HaHa. Sasha Fierce? Hm... I should get working on my pseudo name!

Oh and there's a little something for you on my blog:

http://miss-mrs.blogspot.com/2008/10/figgy-fig-cookies.html

:)

Annie said...

So is Sasha Fierce her stripper name and Beyonce remains her stage name?
She went from one stupid name to another. Yeah, that makes sense!

ko said...

r u serious?????? that is wierd!

jill jill bo bill said...

She looks way more like a Beyonce than a Sasha. (?) Too much money and time.

Keely said...

Oh, I don't know, if 'Beyonce' evolved into 'Sasha Fierce', which evolved into 'Butthead', I'd probably call her that.

Or I could just skip straight to calling her that, never mind the evolution.

Lynette said...

You don't even have to change my name. But everytime you speak of me you should ALSO say, who is beautiful, sexy and if there was a Queen of the World, that'd be her.

I am Boymom said...

Oohhhh, I have missed your posts, Sue! I am so behind on my blog reading lately and really needed to laugh tonight! Hubby and I were just mocking the whole Sasha Fierce thing (sounds like a character in an old 70's Dolomite movie). We do the same thing with name evolution in our house. Our cat went from Blackie Chan the Karate Kat to Blackie, to Kitty, to Cat, to Damn Cat, on which we are currently stuck.

BacktoBarnwell said...

That's crazy, and I'm totally with ya on P Dubs. Let's go beat him up.

Threeboys1mommy said...

I'm a grown ass woman dawg! I'm not calling another woman Sasha Fierce, I draw the line at Happy Hour Sue.

Mrs. S. said...

Haha! I loved the dog list because this is something I do with my dog and cat. I am pretty sure that between them they have had about 20 new names. Hilarious!

Brittany said...

Ummmm...that was hilarious. And everyone knows, changing your name to Fierce only works if you also require the 3 finger snaps to be done at the same time.

Deb said...

Obviously, Beyonce has a little too much time on her hands. I've just been trying for the last umpteen years to get my family to stop calling me Debbie, as I much prefer Deb. I may have to start thinking of alternatives to Deb.

Maricriss said...

I saw that she was changing her name to Sasha Fierece, there's no way that i'm calling her that. Can't she just name her next album that. Rediculous

Ginette said...

Very funny and I love the name of your blog!

Deconstructing Jen said...

True, very true. I'm not sure what's up with the name changing but I think dear Beyonce is trumped by one "Chad Ocho-Cinco" of the Cincinnati Bangles for going the completely ridiculous name route.

Merrie said...

That's us with our dog, too!
Simba
Bimba
Bimbo
Simbo
Simboo
Simboo Shimes
Blim
Bilbo
Slimboo

It makes no sense, but he totally answers to it all, especially Shimes. ?!?!

Loveable Loser said...

At least I got Loveable in there and not Butthead Loser..yet

But I am just a boy

Jen said...

My 8 Lb Chihuahua's name is Bryce, but somehow that has become:

- B-Monkey

- Bryce-a-Roni my San Francisco Treat

- Lumpe-Shite (Lump-A, Sheet-A aka Lump of shit because he is a big ball of lumpy goodness)

- Mayor (because his body is shaped like the Mayor of Halloweentown in Nightmare Before Christmas)

- Mayor of Pigskin Town (partially from the name above, but also because he takes on the shape of a football)

- Punkin' Head (because all of my dogs are called this at one time or another)

- Punkin; Meister - Meister Punkin'

- Steam Roller (because sometimes he loses his balance and, well - steamrolls.

The list goes on and on, but the funny thing is that he answers to all of these.

nikkicrumpet said...

I'd be totally offended by the Jesus comment...if it wasn't so funny!

McMommy said...

Oohh, I got it! The next name evolution for your dog...

Beavis.

AngieSS said...

Hahaha

Sasha Fierce, you so fierce girl, NOT!

R U kidding me? You would think if they want to change their name, they would pick something that doesn't make the rest of us laugh our asses off.

Oh, and my dog has only 3 names:

Rex
Rexie Pooh
and Damn Dog

Wendy said...

our god's name did that same thing, finally ending up with "Boo". Which is short for "Boo hoo" because she always moans and cries when she gets excited. So we mock her. Yup.

Nooter said...

i have to put up with this all the time:

- Nooter
- Nibbles
- Fat Nibbs
- Fat Boy
- Bacon Boy
- Kevin Bacon

Shelley said...

I shamefully admit that this happened to one of my children as a baby. Her name is Shannon, then from the Name Game song we got Shannon Bo Bannon, and then it was Shannon Bo Bo, and then apparently there was some guy on Howard Stern (PUKE) name Ba Ba Fooey? According to the husband. Anyway, so then she became Bo Bo Fooey, and then just Fooey. And then the inevitable, "Why do you call that kid Fooey?"

Sasha Fierce is the best she could come up with? Geez. I guess Moxy Crimefighter Gillette was already taken. Oh wait...

Angela said...

Hola! I found you through a series of random blog-surfing maneuvers, and I've already read through every single one of your posts! LOVE your blog! If you leave me a comment that it's okay, I'll add you to my blog roll :)

MammaDucky said...

Just found your blog and I'm loving it. Your entries sound like conversations my best friend and I would have.

word to your mother.

P.S. My son has gone from Nicholas to Pickles. 6 degrees of name changes, good times.

Heidi said...

My son's name is no where near Jack, but that's what we call him most of the time. Short for Jackass, that we find totally necessary, but totally inappropriate to say to him.

Susan in the Psych Ward said...

I grew up hating my name (sorry, there were so many Susans, Suzannes, Suzies, Sues, ugh!!! You probably know what I mean!)... and my middle name (Loraine)... but, there was not way in hell my mom was going to let me change my name... what's her mom going to call her now... Maybe I could use Benyonce since it isn't taken anymore... that would confuse the kids at school though, Mrs. Beyonce, I have a headache!!!

Elisa said...

She must have been koking. No way anyone with an ounce of self-respect would come up with a name like Sasha Fierce.

Scott & Heather said...

I heard a blurb about her changing her name but didn't get to hear the rest. If that's what she picked, it's totally STUPID.

jill said...

thanks for a good laugh, love the name of your blog, when I saw it I had to stop by. I agree with the dog name part, I don't know how my dogs know their name because it changes with my mood!

jaime said...

i read this in the Post and I laughed...she said something like she has 2 personalities and Sasha Fierce is who she is when she's on stage- ew. When i think of that name i get flashbacks of my first college roommate who smelled like curry and menstrual flow. uuugg i think i just threw up a lil in my mouth....sorry bout that.

Southern Gal said...

Sasha Fierce? Um, yeah. It's not doing it for me either.

My name is Shelley, & my dad started calling me "burgermeister" when I was younger (he said it means "little mayor" or something like that in German - I guess I was a little bossy). But over time it has now been shortened to "the boog" - & my WHOLE family calls me "the boog" or "boog" now.

Yeah, really awesome. I really enjoy being called a name that is short for "booger." Sweeeeeet!

Lipstick said...

Sometimes famous people should just shut the hell up....not you, Happy Hour Sue, just the rest of them.

Ann said...

She's what?
Really?

Dog name evolution I totally get!
(Hey, that sounds like a religious movement "It's time for Dog Name Evolution"! Holla!)

Mik said...

That's the best she could come up with?

Anna Lefler said...

Oh, I'm so using "D-Bag" about four thousand times tomorrow.

You're awesome.

XO

Anna

* TONYA * said...

OMG I hadn't heard this. Hilarious.

Kimberly said...

the banana one is just mean!

Cassoulet Cafe said...

My cat's name went like this:

Survivor (from the pound)
Skeeter
Skeeter Magillicutti (that's not our last name)
Skeeter Skeeter Pumpkin Eater
Skeeter Wilson (hubby did that..annoying)
Skeet
Skeetie

Other cat:

Craig (again, the pound has nerdy names)
Blueberry
Blueberry's Hairy Berries

Raging Dad said...

Oh come on, TAFKATAFKAP (The Artist Formerly Known As "The Artist Formerly Known As Prince") had moxie for actually requiring people to call him by an unpronounceable sign. But Prince sure is easier.

Anonymous said...

This is why my cat Tootsie is known as Bean.

michelle said...

My dog Rufus is commonly called stealth-boxer and Isabell is scoliosis dog. Makes perfect sense to me?