(Is it time for a book yet?)
Philidelflip (fil-a-del'-flip) n.
The uncanny ability of a half bagel with cream cheese to land "cream cheese-down" when it falls.
wavetraction (wave-trak'-shun) n.
When you try to wave at someone you know in public and they don't see you, but everyone else does, so you have to retract your wave.
vegivindication (vej-ee-vin-di-kay'-shun)n.
Because of the "first-in, last-out" nature of grocery shopping, finally proving to the checkout clerk with the last items on the belt that you do, in fact, feed your family healthy produce, not just crap.
bumperclump (bum'-per-clump) n.
A frantic gridlock of bumper cars that can't get out of each others' way and use up all the ride time.
beefizzwary (bee-fizz'-ware-ee) adj.
To have a phobia of a bee being in your soda can.
ghostcrank (gowst'-crank) n.
The unexplainable phenomenon of your car stereo being several decibels louder when you start the car up than when you left it.
42 comments:
Once again, LOL. Actually, more like Chuckle-chuckle-snort-COUGH-COUGH-GASP-chuckle-COUGH until Hubby looks over, mildly concerned, to see if I'm okay.
Stupid cold with its stupid congestion, can't even laugh right at blog post hilarity.
And yes, it is TOTALLY time for a book. Absolutely!
BAAAAWAAAHHH HAAAAA!
I LOVE it!
lol yes I would say it's definitely time for a book! I would read it...
My new goal in life is to work one of these words into a paper and pull it off! haha It will be like my own personal Happy Hour Sue tribute!
I am SO beefizzwary. I've seen two people get stung on the lip from sodabees. It's not pretty.
I'm a total fan of the vegivindication. I'm always feeling like the cashier is judging my food choices! I agree with Heather, my hubby always questions my reading when I laugh out loud at the computer! :) So glad I found you through a friend of a friend!
I'll totally buy your book! If you buy my K-Lish! ;)
yeah i would buy your book...under the condition I get some shout outs written in to it, and am listed under the Acknowledgements section ;-0
I may have to start using a few of those. Very amusing.
Hey, that radio thing is me. But I'll quit. dammit
I love this series. It cracks me up. I especially like the last one, that happens to me all the time.
My fear of bees in my beer cans border lines obsessive!
Wavetraction and ghostcrank. Awesome. And so very, very true!
Ghostcrank, now that I know is real!
BWAHAHAHAHAAA. Now I finally have a word for the checkout and for that embarassing wave that everyone but the correct person sees.
you need to start your own dictionary, webster!
ghostcrank yes that would be me! Love your site and would so buy your book! Much Love!
The grocery store one!!!! Were you behind me in line today?!?!?!
To go along with vegevindication...
you might say 'vegevindication by proxy' would the smooshed and damamged condition your veggies are in when you get home...why the 12 pack of soda is always on top of the grapes and peaches....vengeful bag boy or marketing ploy?
I love Ghostcrank!!! You are just so funny Happy Hour Sue!
I agree--we need a book!
I admit sometimes I get more greens for vegivindication!
There has to be a publisher somewhere, here!
I'm even learning- I had no idea people were afraid of bees in soda cans!
ghostcrank!! I knew there was a name for it! ;)
My phobia is birds. Eating outside, they always find me and accost me. I f-cking hate them. My nonword is equivolate. Big non-words throw my kid off his game, and he'll usually retreat. When I'm answering emails or on the phone, he invariably pounces. Can I have some pie, can I eat cookies, can I watch tv, can I jump off the balcony? Ask me later, son. Right now I'm equivolating.
Once I had a drink with a straw in the car, got out to run a quick errand, got back in the car and sipped a fly. Can you give me a word for that? Besides the obvious gag, blah, yuck?
My mother is extremely beefizzwary! My sister got stung on the lip when one went in her soda and she didn't know, that has only made Mom more neurotic unfortunately. And I agree with everyone else, you should write a dictionary, it would make a very good reference text...
Karen
vegivindication----and I thought I was the only one who did the big veggie fake out! Typically there is a vegan or at least someone healthier than I am in front of me AND in back of me. I try to hide the twenty gallons of chocolate ice cream and bulk pack of Doritos under the spinach...which, amazingly, I eat. If someone glances at my pile of crap food, I usually say "Big party this weekend".
Then again...I'll live til I am 90...I do believe a healthy does of junk food is good for you.
These are great! I was waiting patiently for the next batch to come out and my wishes have been answered.
I am beefizzwary in a big way!
Love your made-up words--you definitely need to write a book!
vegivindication is my fav one. I just went shopping yesterday and did this.
Sue! Once again, you've done it!
These are all spot on!
Wavetraction...there is no way to gracefully pull off a wavetraction. I've looked like a fool many, many times trying to retract a wave.
I always visit the produce section last, in the name of vegivindication. That way, all my crap is covered up by healthy-looking stuff as I proceed to the checkout. And then my fruits and vegetables are first on the conveyor belt. Meaning the cashier will pay no attention whatsoever to the Oreos, pizza rolls, and ice cream.
I totally have beefizzwary. I have to look into my can and shake it around when I am outside.
Damn I look like a fool.
Your words are hilarious. I would buy your book and then use the words in general conversation!
I love your made up words...and the bathtub gangsta!! I found your blog on Stephanie's blog (Live Laugh Love)...too funny! I'll be back!
I love your made up words.
peace
#2
My daughter and I loved this...no she's not a regular reader, but she is mildly attracted to BG...
Can't wait for the book...
LOL! These are always so good!
I am a daily victim of the ghostcrank!
"comicalamity"...when you laugh so hard at one of Sue's Happy Hour posts that you accidently spill your Kahlua! ARGH!!!! You are a genius, my blogger idol, and I will buy lots of your books for presents if you write one...
I think it's time for that book! I'd be first in line to buy. Wavetraction cracked me up!!
Ghostcrank happens quite often while watching TV ... especially when a show goes to commercial ... I hate those ghostcranking ads.
Good stuff - I may have to use a few of those!
I think you need to write a book. Seriously.
I'm still not over "debeautiflate".
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