God forbid there should ever be a fire at our house in the middle of the night. Because no one is ever in their own bed.
The only person who routinely sleeps in his own bed is my husband. The rest of us are nomads.
The guest room usually houses the most people on any given night. It has a king size bed and a small sofa.
I sleep in the guest room because my husband's snoring could probably wake the neighbors. Yes, we've tried sprays, and mouth trays and strips. (Note to self: straddling a former marine in the middle of the night while he's sleeping to try and put a nose strip on him is not smart.)
The 16 year old has never slept in his basement bedroom. He prefers the basement sofa.
My 11-year old daughter starts off in her room, but inevitably "hears something" and "can't sleep", so she curls up on the guest room sofa.
Guest room body count: 2
The 7-year old has yet to sleep in her adorable Pottery Barn Kids bed. She is the most anxious and the least able to sleep. She climbs into bed with me....
Guest room body count: 3
Actual conversation at 11:30 pm last week:
7 year old: Mommy, I'm scared.
Me: (almost asleep) Mmmm.
7 year old: Mommy! I can't sleep - I'm scared.
Me: What are you scared of.
7 year old: .......Ninjas.
Me: There's no such thing as ninjas. (is that true? I don't know)
7 year old: What if a Bad Guy comes in the house?
Me: I have pepper spray.
7 year old: Have you tried it?
7 year old: On a ninja?
Eventually she's falls asleep and proceeds to dig her feet into my side all night because her 7-year-old body has an internal magnet that rotates her to lie perpendicular to me. AKA "the axis of evil".
Even if ninjas do invade the house, they'll never find everyone.