Tuesday, August 26, 2008

MORE Words I Made Up



To continue my quest to invent more "Words That Should Be in the Dictionary But Aren't"..........I give you:


pewblurt (pyoo'-blurt) n.
A  wrong word or phrase said out loud in church when everyone else is silent. Usually a result of confusing Catholic vs. Protestant "refrains" combined with unwarranted overconfidence.


shrinkspiracy (shrink-speer'-a-see) n.
The baffling mystery of clothes that used to fit fine, but "something happened to them in the dryer." Usually correlates to an overindulgence in Cool Ranch Doritos.


perpendicutot (pur-pen-dik'-u-tot) n.
Any small child who is physically incapable of sleeping vertically in a bed, mostly your bed, resulting in their feet or head digging into your ribs all night.


chiaberry (chee'-a-berry) n.
The strawberry that starts to grow grey fuzz and infects all the other berries in the box.


debeautiflate (dee-byoo'-ti-flate) v. 
The process by which you start off an evening out looking primped and perfect, but by the time you get home and look in the mirror it's all wilted.


stallbuzz (stall'-buz) n.
The realization that you're drunk that only becomes clear when you use the rest room.


caraoke (car-ee-o'-kee) n.
Singing along to your car radio.

caraokabort (car-a-ok'-a-bort) v.
Abruptly halting your singing when another car pulls alongside you, usually punctuated by a faux-yawn or cough.

59 comments:

KD @ A Bit Squirrelly said...

Okay I have done or still do ALL of those. My favorites are:

debeautiflate (I look int he mirror and think WTH happened?)

stallbuzz (Seriously you need to submit this to the slang dictionary--GENIUS!)

Lipstick said...

perpendicutot. You really are a linguistic genius.

Cassie said...

I love shrinkspiracy. My husband keeps swearing his clothes are shrinking, I try not to laugh.

Debeautiflate and stallbuzz? Definitely been there!

Tenakim said...

I'm with lipstick- linguistic genius!

Keeper Of All Things said...

Stallbuzz.....thats so true!!!

Jen @ Mommay's Mayhem said...

Stallbuzz is perfect. When that happens...I usually giggle to myself.

And the last car one (I'm too lazy to go back and type it). So true!!!

amelia bedelia said...

I can relate to the caroke. except mine is the singing along with the 80's song over the intercom at the grocery store, going on the next isle and having to hum because your being stared at.

Swirl Girl said...

stallbuzz happens first...then the bffhairhold (when the best friend holds your hair back so you can hurl)...aaahhh - good times, good times.

jill jill bo bill said...

We definitely need to add these to our calendar. I already have millions of people wanting one.

oº˚ Anissa ˚ºo said...

Perpendicutot this is so true -- I just have the foot in my mouth. LOL Love them all.

Posey said...

Perpendicutot - Have you been sleeping at my house?

Marla said...

shrinkspiracy - oh so true

JenniBeanV said...

I am usually debeautiflated by the time I leave the house...

Amy Bennett said...

Those are great!

Practically Joe said...

How about adding "ipodaoke" ... singing along with your IPod.

The Mom said...

Genius!

I love perpendicutot, it's always why I wake up with totinvadedbedkink in the neck!

Stallbuzz....Oh I totally know that one just sitting there with the race horse pee and staring stupidly, head-cocked to the side, just hoping you remembered to pull your panties down!

Caroline said...

How do you do that!? You will have to release a new dictionary pretty soon!

Lynette said...

You've missed your calling. You should be working at Webster's dictionary.

Stallbuzz...totally been there.

Threeboys1mommy said...

Aborting car karaoke with a yawn or cough is old school Sue. I suggest you fidget with your right ear as if you were adjusting your imaginary Bluetooth device.

kwr221 said...

I was trying to pick a favorite, but I can't.

If I was forced to, it would be between pewblurt and debeautiflate.

Leah said...

I'm a little sad so many of these have or do apply to me!

Magster said...

My faves are perpendicutot and pewblurt, but I can relate to almost all of these "words." Too funny!!!

Laurie said...

So you're creating Sniglets: any word that doesnt appear in the dictionary but should.

Linney Shvede said...

I caraoke but refuse to caraokabort. too much funny in one head, girl!

mommablogsalot said...

lmao love this!

mommaof4wife2r said...

hey sits-ta! love ur words. and i'm so thrilled to know that shrinkspiracy is a 'real' word. i've been using it for a while.

although i'd like to not admit it, there are many others i have experienced as well.

oh, and good job. how does ur brain work that well so early??

Terri said...

My gf and I use the term 'hootering' ..... when your husband prefers a certain place or restaurant because of the certain waitress attributes.

Jennifer said...

OMG--you are a true genius! get Mr. Merriam or Mr. Webster on the phone!!

Vicki said...

Oh my word, you crack me up!!!

caraokabort - TOTALLY done this!!! LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

I have one:

Hangry - so hungry, you're angry

Julie said...

OMG. I just spit coffee all over my monitor.

h31n0us said...

More great words. I never do caraokabort though. I like to subject people to my singing. I have no shame.

Jen said...

those are cracking me up. You should so write a book.

Tiffany said...

Those damn Doritos will get you everytime. And I too do the fake yawn at redlights. LOL Check out my blog cuz I got something for you.

Shannon said...

These are all fab but I think my favorite is "stallbuzz". Damn, that is so true!

Aubrey said...

I'm sitting here laughing my ass off!! Those have to be the best words yet.
Thanks for getting my morning off to an even better start!

Mama Dawg said...

Oh, my...I recognize so much of myself in so many of those.

The Nice One said...

LMAO...Stallbuzz is brilliant. Webster's...Hello?!?!?!

Shieldmaiden96 said...

OH, the stallbuzz. Oh, the memories. The 'sitting with your head cocked, staring stupidly' that The Mom mentioned is an important component. For me its usually followed by insane grinning in the silence of the bathroom and an audible "I'm drunk!" followed by giggling. Then the inspection in the mirror and the question to yourself, "Do I LOOK drunk?" (The answer: probably.) and some overly-cautious reapplication of lipstick. And more idiotic smiling.

I am Boymom said...

We always have Chiaberries in our fridge!! Yer a gall-dang genius!!

crunchiemummy said...

Love them -- especially perpendicutot and caraoke! You're pure genius! LOL

Rochelle said...

Funny that you should post this today. I thought of you while I was in the shower this morning (not as weird as it sounds- really!). "PumpPoop" is that little hard glob of crap that comes out of the shampoo/lotion/cleanser pump before the good stuff comes out.

Thanks for keeping us laughing.

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

You are so good at this! I'm not sure why Reader's Digest hasn't called you yet!

Gettysburg Mom said...

You make me wish I knew more words for funny, so I went to the thesaurus: amusing, clever, comical, droll, entertaining, hilarious, jocose, silly, uproarious, waggish, witty, zany.

KSK said...

Fabulous - love chiaberry - have those in my fridge most of summer. Sometimes longer: chiafurrybeyondrecognition.

Jane - Mom Generations said...

Hilarious! Like someone else said, you should start a book w/ these. I can see it as a coffee table book. Then you could be like Kramer and make the book into a coffee table. Too 1995?

just a girl... said...

Now you have lost it I think.

T Williams said...

HAHA. I have another solution for caraokabort - turn around and act like you were yelling at the kids in the backseat. I'm *sure* it doesn't look believable, but in my mind...

pinkpolkadotaa said...

I have been a vicim of shrinkspiracy myself! It should be an official term.

Drowsey Monkey said...

stallbuzz...hahaha...good one.

Wendi said...

I love them all!
I can hardly wait to use them in sentences!
You are the goddess of made-up-words!

Shelley said...

This is awesome, because I have had the opportunity to use two of these words in context within the past day.

Yesterday, my supervisor wanted to take pictures of all of us, so the new office in India (yeah) could put our faces with our names. Does she want to take this picture at 8:30am, when I first get there and look half-way human? Oh no...she decides around 3pm that now's a good time. I said, "Why did you wait until now, that I'm all debeautiflated? How about tomorrow morning?"

Then this morning, my 16 year-old daughter informed me that her 5 year-old sister had slept with her last night, and that she had gotten a ribcage full of feet. I told her she was the victim of a perpendicutot. Which is precisely why children don't sleep in my bed. That's what they have sisters for.

Blessings From Above said...

I always get debeautiflate. Perhaps as a result of countless martinis throughout the night?

My personal favorites are caraoke and caraokabort. I so do that! Especially since I have a shameful secret of singing Karen Carpenter songs at the top of my lungs while driving. Uhmmm...please don't tell Joe that. It may emphasize to him that I am old enough to be his mother.

QueenTracy said...

LOL love "pewblurt"

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

These are awesome!!
My favorites are stallbuzz - been there a few times and caraokabort...lol

BusyDad said...

LOVE these. Do you think Ikea sells a Purpendikukott for my perpendicutot? I sorely need one.

Heather said...

LOL!!! Now, I never caraokabort, as I am dang proud of my caraoke skillz! :D

Also, the perpendicutot? Just spent a whole week with one of these, generally in the "feet jammed into my armpit/ribcage" position, whilst on vacation. First time sharing a hotel room with the kiddo (her first time at a hotel) and all I can say is, thank goodness they were queen-sized beds!

These, as the first batch, are priceless!

Eternal Sunshine said...

I totally agree with stallbuzz! Why does this always happen?

Caffeine Court said...

Okay, you are really funny...and clever.

I'm jealous.