Monday, August 25, 2008

Bartering With Nigerian Scam Artists


So I'm going through my address book trying to think of who else I can beg to vote for me at Hotbloggercalendar.com and I realize:
What is wrong with me? - I have hundreds of business associates in my spam inbox !

 OMG - Adhabu, Euphemia (she cracks me up), Moubasa, Tahlib...let me start with Mohamed....who wrote me this email just last week:

VERY URGENT MATTER FROM MR. MOHAMED ABUDO,
Bank of Africa
Burkina-Faso

Dear Friend- Hello! to your email. I am surprising to you for help in a business matter. A very wealth client died tragically in a plane that crash leaving him none peoples to claim his fortune. Which is sum to be $25 million dollars US of A. I proposal to you to be next of kin and will give you 30% to be doing this. Please to be contacting me at mohamed_abudo2007@yahoo.fr.

Jazahkumallah for your email,
Mohamed Abudo.

Dear Mohamed,
 I am sorry for the unusual rash of plane crashes lately in your country. I am flattered that you chose me as a business partner, especially given my current credit score and the big brou-ha-ha with the TJ Maxx lay-away. Nevertheless. I look forward to doing business with you. I need a favor first, though: I need you to get 100 people to click on " Happy Hour Sue" at the Hot Blogger contest going on over at Hotbloggercalendar.com.

Dear Happy Hour Sue Friend,
What is meaning this "hot". 

Dear Mohamed,
Well, "hot' as in "popular" or "hot" as in looks - I'm not really sure...it would just give my blog a lot of exposure.

Dear Happy Hour Sue Friend:
Exposures for womens brings shame to the village.

Dear Mohamed,
Could you settle down? Just get your buddies to vote, OK? The we'll talk about getting the big 25 mil.

Dear Happy Hour Sue Friend:
No voting! No business partner! No womens on hot calendar!

Dear Mohamed,
I have PayPal.

Dear Happy Hour Sue Friend:
OK I am to be clicking. I like the McMommy also.


Rock the vote:
Just scroll down to Happy Hour Sue and I will love you 4 ever.

54 comments:

Shelley said...

Sue,
Thanks for stopping by my blog! I am in love with BG, so of course I had to link to your back-to-school post. Fo' shiz.

You crack me up, seriously. I don't know what's funnier, the Nigerian vote whoring, or the fact that you're counting the days until Joe Jonas turns 21. My 16 year-old daughter thinks he is totally hot. He's the singer, right? I am so out of the loop.

Tenakim said...

I did the same thing- I want to go now- what a freak- the nomination thing opened up this bag of worms- I actually emailed my high school friends from classmates.com- GAY!

Blessings From Above said...

You got my vote...I'll even put in a good word with Joe for you. As soon as I can wake him up. You see, he is a little worn out right now... ;)

Mr Lady said...

That hurt. That was so funny, it hurt. Nicely played, dude.

theponds said...

Holy Crap! You are a riot. I have lurked for a while and loved your blog. You got my vote. Too bad BG isn't nominated for the guys version of the calendar. He's a shoe in. For realz.

Leslie said...

rock the vote! Loving it! As usual. Oh, go check my blog, I left a little something for you!

schnaarzy said...

Your blog totally rocks! I have spit food at the computer several times laughing. By the way, I though someone else was in the bed when Joe came over, but is was Blessings from Below!

ali said...

Wait a minute, Mr. Abudo said I was the next of kin!

Jen @ Mommay's Mayhem said...

OMG...too freakin funny!

jill jill bo bill said...

I put a plug in for you on my blog (of course AFTER they vote for me)because I am nice like that. And I am hoping for some sympathy votes. And I never freakin' win ANYTHING. And I will just go and hold everyone's purses if you will just share the love.

McMommy said...

McMommy likey Mohammed.

Tell him to get his friends Adhabu, Euphemia, and Tahlib to vote for us too.

We are shameless. And desperate. And need this trip to NY.

Debbie said...

Just found your blog and what a riot! I will definitely be back. Love the Nigerian email. Too funny.

Julie said...

If you were on MySpace you could be getting love letters as well. They are really fun to read!

Tenakim said...

we are neck and neck- how can we dump the ones up at top? Seriously, I don't have a chance in hell, but this has been fun!

Jen said...

You are too funny. I voted. I sure hope you win.

Karen said...

I got here from MrLady. And frankly she deserves a big old wet kiss with tongue! I am off to vote, then signing up for your RSS feed and finally putting you on my blog roll. After that I may stalk you and possibly move to your neighborhood!

Brooke said...

OK, they really need to alphabetize that list! I voted for you, but it took me 10 minutes to find your name.

Linney Shvede said...

I had already voted before I realized you were in it, but I too have "friends" in far away places...and know men who are partial to boobs. I'll see what I can do.

Former Fat Chick said...

Joe Jonas looks just like my nephew!!! So, I can not partake of that dirty old woman lust, however...show me to the 19 year sales "ASS"ociates at Abercrombie'''*GRRRR* BTW, I am piece of coconut cake's lil sis! Check out my blog, I could use pointers!

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

I'm fairly certain you and I were separated at birth - the TJ Maxx references, the hatred of buy-crap parties, and the snoring related bed switcheroos.

Cool blog.

Rochelle said...

Hilarious post. Good luck with the votes! I had "Mis Reha Olufemi" write to me today so I'll ask her (?) to vote for you.

I left an award for you at whinesandwines so stop by when you take a break from whoring for votes! ;+)

AND I received my "I might blog" t-shirt today. I'll model it in a future post. Love it!

Wendy said...

I think I saw you on 60 minutes with these guys!

JenniBeanV said...

Oooh...you should hit up the viagra people too!

That was great!

Emily said...

I am not sure how you do what you do, but it keeps me laughing so hard! I bet BG could get you a ton of votes. Get him to talk to his hommies. For realz! All those other nominees are whack, yo!

Zombie said...

I tried to have a conversation with one of those guys before and never heard back. Let the good times roll

Susan in the Psych Ward said...

I've done mass emailing just for you... my spam folder was pretty big so, you should have no worries. Make sure you you buy the biggest sunglasses you can find- those lights will be so bright!!!

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

This was great...you've got my vote.

oº˚ Anissa ˚ºo said...

I got that same stupid e-mail! Anyway hope you win -- I will vote for you!

Lipstick said...

Aww man, I thought I was Mohamed's business partner.

Aubrey said...

What I wouldn't give to live in your head for a day! You crack me up woman!! I can go to bed with a smile now! Oops. Hope hubby isn't looking over my shoulder right now.

Lisa-licious said...

Bandwidth Limit Exceeded???!!! I need to vote for you, my IDOL Blogger (and I will even toss in a vote form McMommy!) if I can get on the site to vote...what gives?

Carri said...

I just found your blog and I must say you crack me up. You have one of the best blogs I have come across in a while. I will definitely vote for you and I hope you get the trip you are hoping for.

Threeboys1mommy said...

It's late. Let's hit up the customer service agents in Bahli, I'm sure they're sitting in front of a computer. They will be so stoked we're not threatening to kill them over a late fee, they'll vote for Sue in a heartbeat.

Practically Joe said...

I guess if the spammer votes for you ... I can do the same ... But ... How big are the contestants for this calendar?There doesn't seem to be enough bandwidth on the site to show them.

Kelly said...

OK, the laugh you just got out of me got my vote! Good luck!

Shannon said...

BWWAAHAAHAAHAAHAA! You are hilarious! I love reading your posts.

I voted for you... good luck!

Meg said...

You got my vote!!! But, ah...when is the HotDaddys calendar coming out?

Gettysburg Mom said...

OK-OK- I voted for you... please release my cat now. The children can't handle any more body parts in the mail....

Holy Crappers said...

You got my vote Sista !! You got to kick Dooce's ass in this one !!

#1

Dawn said...

OMG this may be one of the best hotbloggercalendar.com posts I've read. And I've read them all! Ok,sorta. Anyway, good luck with Mohammed :D

Keep It Classy, Jen said...

Shut up this is too funny!! Love the pic!

h31n0us said...

I'm still laughing. Okay, I'll vote, I'll vote.

Keeper Of All Things said...

It says if I vote for you....you'll be my best friend.........
OK
My best friend always comes by and cleans my whole house on Mondays....
Just kidding .....as my new best friend all you really have to do is clean the bathrooms...:)

jill jill bo bill said...

Let's do our own "Warm Female Bloggers" Calendar. Not quite HOT, but close. I get two months tho because I'm fat and 2 pages. I am dead serious. About the calendar, not the 2 page thing...well, kinda serious...

Jonny's Mommy said...

Sue,
I wish I could think of something witty to say, but alas, you are the Queen of Witty and the Ruler of All That is Funny....

And I am Loser of Mommy Blogger World.

So I guess I'll just go vote for you.

If I do this...does it make me a lesbian?

Cuz like I'm not, K?

Not that that is a bad thing, but I'm just not one or anything. I mean you are attractive, but I am not attracted to you. You know what I mean? I mean I could be attracted to you if I was a lesbian, but I'm not. I'm married.

To a man.

OK. I gotta go.

Swirl Girl said...

You are a riot!

thanka for the laugh!

willC said...

This is the funniest thing ever! Why can't I find more blogs like this??

Tasha said...

Brilliant! But watch out- he might want to do more "business" with you and sell you for sex. Oh wait....is that a bad thing?

Star said...

Hey, I thought I was his business partner.????. Funny stuff.

BusyDad said...

You are brilliant. Scammers are enthusiastic cheap labor. Hmm if I buy that Angelina Jolie sex tape do you think I can get those video folks to vote for me? My computer at work so has a vote for you written all over it.

Kate K said...

Brilliant post! I voted for you based on this post alone. :)

mom2natnkatncj said...

Too funny!

Simply Shannon said...

That is freaking hilarious!

Formercitygirl said...

That was too funny!