I've solved your last minute gift-giving dilemma cuz look!: "Birthing Dolls".
See how she's smiling?? So fun!!!!!!
(what even IS that???? A brain with a foot???)
Lady, childbirth may not be your biggest problem.
Really, it's tricky to crochet a good placenta.
Yeah, these'll run you about $150....but imagine the hours of fun! Pull him out, stuff him back in.....pull him out, stuff him back in.
I can't quite put my finger on what's missing here though....
Oh, right. The screaming. Duh.