You guys. I have 1,013 followers on Twitter!!!!!
You know what that means???!!!!!
Only 1,358,572 more to go 'til I have as many as Dooce. W00t!
So! Let's get started with TWITTER RECAP, a.k.a. "What you've missed lately not following me on Twitter." And the answer is, 'nothing earth-shattering, but it's Sunday night and I don't have a blog post idea.'
(For the Twitless, Twitter is a social networking site where you type in short observations in 140 characters or less.)
8 year old: "Mom....Mom....Mom..." Me: "Stop saying 'Mom'!" Her: "Sue...."
4:58 PM Aug 26th from Twhirl
OK Facebook, enough with the quizzes. Toilet paper roll: Over vs. Under? Really?
10:58 AM Aug 27th from web
What is it about Costco that turns husbands into über-shoppers? is it the large sizes? My jug of ketchup is bigger than your jug of ketchup.
12:43 PM Aug 29th from web
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!!!!!!! *** doing carpet angels****
10:22AM Aug 31st from twhirl
The best time to ask your husband if you can buy the $1500 imac is when he's in his car with clients and you're on speakerphone.
11:31AM Sep 2nd from twhirl
Michael Jackson's only getting buried today? Ew.
10:18 AM Sep 3rd from Twhirl
Yo, Tuesday, Ima let you finish but Saturday is like the best day of all time.
6:12 PM Sep 15th from twhirl
God what was I thinking letting husband and 8 y.o. go to Petsmart together for dog food. Am proud new owner of a dwarf hamster. Arrrrgh.
4:28 PM Sep 19th from twhirl
8 year old: "Remember that bank that had a tube that shot lollipops thru the car window?" Me: "I think you're remembering that wrong."
10:34 AM Sep 20th from twhirl
"Honey your hamster can't be pregnant cuz she's not married." 8 year old: "Some teenagers get pregnant when they're not married..." Thanks, Jamie-Lynn.
2:21 PM Sep 21st from twhirl
Isn't it awkward when Facebook is suggesting u friend someone and probably suggesting they friend u but neither of you will do it?
3:18 PM Sep 22nd from twhirl
It's too late to weigh myself this morning. I've already had tea.
6:57 AM Sep 23rd from twhirl
File under "I Don't Wanna Know": Dog puked, I went to get papertowels, came back and it's gone.
12:20 PM Sep 24th from twhirl
Husband who knows I'm a football retard: "Who're you for?" Me: "The....Atlanta Braves." Him: "Well I don't think they're gonna win."
10:21 PM Sep 27th from twhirl
Well that's embarrassing. The Atlanta Braves just re-tweeted my tweet about thinking they were a football team.
11:21 PM Sep 27th from twhirl
8 year olds: Smart enough to fake being sick, but not smart enough to keep it up past 10AM.
12:38 PM Sep 30th from twhirl
GAH. Succumbed to Target's evil brainwashing rays. Spent $320 when all I needed was a tea kettle.
4:26 PM Oct 2nd from twhirl.
UGH. My personal trainer cancelled cuz he's hungover. The downsides of him being 25 are starting to outweigh the upsides.
1:04 PM Oct. 6th from twhirl
Gosh I just can't get enough of the word 'spooktacular' in October.
8:05 AM Oct 9th from twhirl
Really sorry, but if you use the default ring for your cellphone, I judge you.
10:15 AM Oct 9th from twhirl
Just made a "Days Til Taylor Lautner Turns 18" countdown widget for my Twilight blog. So, productive day.
12:46 PM Oct 9th from twhirl
This just in from The Moon: "WTF???????!!!!!!"
10:31 AM Oct 9th from twhirl
Follow me or you won't know what I'm doing.
16 comments:
dude, compared to my measly 60 followers, you are dooce! you are hilarious, friend. truly.
You now have 1,016. (I just added you. Obviously someone else did before me... 2 someone elses)
True story: At my sister's engagement party this weekend, her friend and I were discussing your hilarious tweets.
You're almost there...WOOT! :)
Great post!! If my tweets were half as funny or interesting as yours I would totally do a post like this. My poor twitter followers are so deprived lol I'll start referring them all to you ;)
over 1,000 followers? Um, I think you need to command them ALL to follow me (@sugartwittes) 1.) I said you had big boobies 2.) It's a good way to find out if they will obey
carpet angels! brilliant!
my twitter love for you is mucho grande! (i think translated that means very big)
All I can say is that you crack my shit up. I don't have twitter but after reading this post I'm almost tempted.
♥Spot
A woman of your capabilities ought to be able to trade your husband some sexual favors for that iMac.
I won't tell you what I did for our new big screen iMac but a little imagination can go a long way.
Although I AM following you...like the "Twitter Recaps" on the blog better b/c they are in chronological order. Twitter is annoying that way.
I so agree with the FB friends! I have a whole page of people I know but.....nah.
I follow but still managed to miss some good ones. You make me laugh. Out loud. ;o)
I'll follow, but you'd better be funnier than kirstie alley.
HAHAHAHA. Funny, eh? Kirstie Alley *single tear* of judgemental laughter.
I always love these. I don't tweet but like reading them here. I am too wordy to tweet.
the reinterpretation of Kanye and Tuesday was a breath of fresh air next to the Patrick Swazye funeral one.
grow up and realize that you'll never be as popular as dooce.
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