What the hell.
Do we have to go through this every year? It's the first warm day of the year, I go out to my front walk and you're all: "We're here and we're ready to party".
Didn't I make my intentions clear last year? Don't you remember the RoundUp, the WeedBGone, the weeding pail, the sweating?
Don't you see how we keep repeating old patterns? You show up, I kill you. You show up again, I kill you again. What part of "I will kill you" do you not understand?
Don't you have any dignity? Quite frankly, I'm embarrassed for you. By the way, The Mulch totally agrees with me.
So, I'd appreciate it if we could just get on with our lives.
As we used to say in sorority rush, I think you'd be happier at another house.
p.s. do not text me.