Tuesday, March 17, 2009

It Costs A Lot Of Money To Have Hair This Natural

I started coloring my hair blond when I was 18.

No- scratch that- 16- if you count "Sun-In" and lemon juice. Which always left me looking like Scott Peterson in his "about-to-make-a-run-for-it" days.
So once I got to college I upgraded to "Nice N' Easy" from the local drugstore. Hoping for the "Corn Silk Blonde" promised on the box, but ending up with "Trailer Trash Rust".

Once I graduated and started making some bank I said that's it- time for the big leagues - the Superbowl of haircoloring: The FULL FOIL HIGHLIGHT.
Yes. You look temporarily like you could bring in TV signals from Dubai.

And yes. It's ridiculously expensive.

But you say Hey: It's totally worth every penny because my hair is the blonde I always wanted... and it's natural-looking....and after all these years I finally can pass for being born this way....and you continue on with with the Magical Foils for years and years....and then one day your six year old says,

"Look, Mommy! I drew a picture of you!"





Foil highlight: $120
Tip: $25
Kid callin' it like it is: Priceless.

40 comments:

Linda S said...

and you've got your green eye makeup on..that's very fashionable too!

Tahoe Girl said...

I learned a valuable lesson once about "Blonde in a Box". Turns out brunettes who try and go platinum at home end up with YELLOW hair! Then when they run to the Winn Dixie for a "Back to Brunette in a Box" they end up with GREY hair. Not pretty sophisticated older woman silver, oh no, how about crayola rejected this shade of grey cause no one could name it anything put PUTRID GREY!

Wore a hat for 2 weeks til I could get in to the salon.

They should put warnings on the box..."Your hair is NEVER going to look like the picture!"

Val said...

Kids never fail when it's time to call you out!

Jillian said...

I hear you. I gave up red to go back to natural brown. Too much maintainance.

Jillian said...

maintenance even. I need to sleep.

C ♥ said...

Oyy...I must say, I have never dyed my hair on my own. I am toooo naturally dark to even attempt it.

Bleach...welll...that just makes me nervous.

♥ Kathy said...

Gotta love those black strips in your drawn picture LOL that's truly priceless!

ps. I used to do the lemon juice thing too...did you put vegetable oil on to tan too? We may have been separated at birth...

michelle said...

Maybe her brown crayone was broken?

kmoye said...

that was great!
my daughter drew me then added "mean" eyes.
Thanks I said, now go clean your room.
"mean" eyes, geez.

Sarah said...

They keep it real! Great stuff.

Chris O said...

I was commenting on the amount of grey hair I had when my son was small. He said, "you don't have any grey hair, mommy". I said, "yes I do, see all the white?" He said, "oh, you have lots of white hairs, you just don't have any GREY ones!"

Have to love em, thank god they move out someday!

Hazel said...

haha i love it!

Lynette said...

Wow. Just when you think you have them fooled...you don't.

lsadler said...

now that's some funny shit

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

"Trailer Trasher Rust" Love that!

This POST is priceless.

(But where's your other eye?)

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

I am not sure if you are sporting green eye shadow or if she gave you a green tattoo teardrop by your eye.

That is funny! I have never attempted to color my hair myself always have been to afraid it would turn out purple or something way wrong.

Paige said...

oh so flattering!

I am a believer in paying good money to make my hair not look like it is all gray, since it started turning when I was 26.

Candice said...

Nevermind the hair. Check out your nicely arched brow... Joan Rivers would be jealous of that bad boy!

Jen said...

I think she totally captured you!

Jenna McCarthy said...

Maybe she forgot to add the part about "a picture of you AFTER the school bus ran over your head and left tire tracks and knocked out one of your eyes..."

Bar-b said...

lmao.

i love how you set us up yo.

I can't wait to get the filterless fun from my two little ones.

deconstructingjen said...

lmao, that is hilarious. they are worth it though. i look like a natural red head these days and no one would guess the dirty crap brown I was born with.

Lee of MWOB said...

Oh that reminds me - I need to go get my highlights done...I'm gonna do it privately with no kids around so I can believe it's all real....

Jenni Jiggety said...

I like when my boys are snuggling up to me and they say "Hey mom...why is your hair all BLACK under there??"

Shuddup, kid.

kaila said...

Before dying my hair for the first time ever, I spent two weeks picking out the perfect hair color. Upon finally dying my hair, I realized that I had dyed my hair.....The.Same.Color.As.My.Hair. yeah, brilliant....

Jessica said...

Did you ever try "Glintz"? That supposedly "not" permament hair cool that was "supposed" to wash out in 4 to 6 weeks? All I can say is... yeah right.:)

Anonymous said...

I tried to be blonde for way too long. Now I appreciate my natural red.

Cathie said...

Kids are too honest!

Marinka said...

That is priceless! But I bet he'd sell it to you for $5.

Tenakim said...

I notice the green teardrop tattoo too- my husband says that in the innercity that's code for having killed someone- is it true?

I went through the same process- cheap boxes to eventual foil- but my hair is so dark , it just made it not look like poop- rather poop with definition. It became a hassle and I stopped for about 15 years and did it about 6 months ago- and now I'm back in the vicsious cycle... I will need to keep getting it done unless I consider going for that crew cut I've been consideing!

The Nice One said...

Love the green eye makeup ;)

Lisa-licious said...

I got tired of paying so much for highlights. I do my own (and have for years) to the tune of...wait for it...$3.50 a month. Yes, the decimal is in the right place. You can let me know at BlogHer if I need to "see someone", but the reviews so far have been positive. However, I am still thankful for my "brunette brain". (No offense, blondies...) I can "play the blonde card" when needed.

Swirl Girl said...

zebra is the new blonde...

Scary Mommy said...

HA!!! That's awesome. My daughter once compared my streaky hundred dollar highlights to a skunk. Nice.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Harsh.

But look at good you look now!

(I mean - I am assuming, I can't actually see you from here.)

luckeelady said...

When I was a kid they neighbor girl used to lighten her hair with Peroxide.. I thought that was cool and wanted to do it too because my hair was dark brown. I'm glad I never did because now I realize she was just trailor trash, literally, and a salon is the only way. I did try to dye my hair blonde once out of a box and needless to say I looked like carrot top, it was orange as can be...

Messy Mommy said...

That's GREAT! I first colored my hair when I was 13 but it was with the temporary hair color. Do they even make those anymore?

Terri said...

Are you drooling or did you have too much to drink?

Kids...maternal instinct is there so we don't murder them in these instances!

I foil my own hair in the summer. It's a gift. And I have access to the 'professionals only' store, so use the good stuff!

MrsSki said...

As I sat in the salon last night with foils all in my hair I thought about your blog and this entry in particular. Wouldn't it be cool if we could pick up at least a radio station or two? I mean, we do look a little strange with dozens of foil attached to our heads might as well be somewhat useful.

By the way your blog makes me smile and often makes me laugh uncontrollably!

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