Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Another Brilliant Invention

This is Diesel.












Slayer of Webkinz.

Drinker of Toilet Water.

And, unfortunately, Flatulator Extraordinaire.

I swear, I only feed him puppy chow. But Lord, you'd think he was subsisting on Taco Bell.

So here's my invention: The Portable Collar Deodorizer. (PCD)











STEP 1: Equip canine with PCD.
















STEP 2: (in event of flatulence) IDENTIFY OFFENDER.













STEP 3:
RETRIEVE PCD.












STEP 4: DEPLOY DEODORIZER.












STEP 5: (if threat is contained) RETURN PCD TO HOLSTER.











Don't EVEN try to copy my invention because I've already called 800 number for my Inventor's Kit.

The PCD. Making Home Air Breathable...One Fart at a Time.

38 comments:

Heinous said...

Genius! For version two you should make it rear mounted with odor sensors for auto deployment. That's going to need some R&D though.

AJ said...

I have a german shorthair that can clear the fricking room. Unbelieveably stinky.

Tenakim said...

Sort of glad I have a small non flatulent dog, now. He does slay webkinz, though!

I am Boymom said...

Unbelievable! I need one for my husband.

Deb said...

I was going to ask if you could tie that to offending farting people who shall remain nameless...

Mama Dawg said...

But what happens if the dog runs away like mine does?

Betsey Booms said...

He is a beautiful puppy! I need one of those.

Mary Moore said...

What a wonderful invention! Our standard poodle, when he first came to us, was awful with gaseous emissions. We almost renamed him Gaston.

Mandy said...

Freaking awesome. Sign me up.

Feener said...

love it !!

my friend had a french bull dog and he was so old, i swear to god the smell that came from him was horrid

Lisa-licious said...

I need a F.A.R.T.can...(Flatulence Air Refreshing Treatment)for my hubby, too. He takes such pride in them, as many males do. I often "gas" him back with OUST or some other equally toxic but more pleasant smelling spray. They KILL me! He just laughs and laughs...UGH!

mom x 2 said...

hahahaah That is the best invention ever! One just looks at you like "what is the problem?", the other just sneaks away with that "It wasn't me" look. We have got to have one of these!

michelle said...

I have two boxers that have "nose hair incinerating, toe curling, napalm burning, gas" as described by a friend who housed them for us once. It was so bad, that one night my husband came home after I was asleep and the bedroom smelled so horrid, he turned on the light and lifted the sheets up thinking I had actually had an accident in my sleep. Can you imagine waking up to your husband checking your a** in the middle of the night? I shit you not! (pun intended there)

Anyhoo.... good solution to this conundrum (besides making the dogs sleep with the kids) is this. Give poocheroo a good scoop of plain yogurt a few times a day. 2x, after meals works fine. Buy the cheap store brand, low or non fat doesn't matter. Takes about a month to work, but the gas will be gone (unless he eats beans or something. Then all bets are off)

Good luck. Invest in nose plugs for the time being!

Jen said...

Will it work on husbands and sons too?

Abby said...

HAHAHA! What a good idea! Do you give him rawhides? Once we cut our dog off of the rawhides the smell in our house improved considerably. Those things cause some stinky gas!

Tiffany said...

I need that for my bulldog. She can clear a room in 2 seconds. Sometimes we think a skunk sprayed but we walk outside and it smells fine. Who knew dog farts could smell like skunks?

P.S. Check out my latest post. Me, Edward and my stinky dog.

Swirl Girl said...

Have you ever read the children's book series called "Walter , the Farting Dog"?

You should.

Twisted Lisa said...

that is a HUGE dog! can you make a smaller version for my puppy? Her farts are lethal!

KD @ A Bit Squirrelly said...

Make that collar work for mu hubby and I'll buy one today.

jill jill bo bill said...

Genius. Now how I can I get my kids to wear the collar?

Dawn said...

I like the idea, but don't want to get so close to the dog! If the fart is that bad, it's got to be lingering near the source!!

Very funny!

BTW I like Henious' idea of rear mounted auto deployment. And I think I will try Michelle's yogurt treatment... I mean on the dog... not me... really, it wasn't me!

Threeboys1mommy said...

Uhm yeah... I'd say it's time to offer Diesel up to the Obama's.

Heather said...

If puppies are anything like kittens (who tend to come with the same lethal emissions, albeit in more condensed, compact versions), there is hope that your dog will grow out of this phase. Kittens tend to be constant expenders of the SBD variety, but then they outgrow the issue once they reach full cathood.

So, maybe, just maybe, it's only a phase?

Then again, maybe it isn't. I don't know - haven't lived with a puppy in a long, looooooong time. It is food for thought though, as our daughter has been campaigning for a dog for years now. Perhaps we'll hold off until your invention is on the market. :)

Miss Yvonne said...

First of all, Diesel is adorable. He's so adorable, he looks like his farts should smell like cookies and play dough.

Love the invention...hopefully you'll make a crossover product for husbands. Cause I would totally buy one of those.

Candace said...

When it goes on the market, I'll be first in line to purchase some. It gets downright toxic around here sometimes with the two German Shepherds. Nasty stuff!

Lori said...

I need this. My dog can burn the hair right out of your nose with his flatulence. He'll even leave the room because it smells so bad.

Rachel said...

Hilarious! I will definately buy one.

More, More, More said...

We have a miniature black schnauzer we love her so much!! She looks like a mini me to your pup!

Ali said...

I'm the lone female here. Does it work for humans?!

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Wow! I love that yogurt tip. But my little schnauzer was just plain stinky all the time, gas or no gas.

Kristi O said...

I am cracking up
so did you ditch the whole raw chicken gig and just move onto puppy chow? I have 4 large boxers, talk about GAS... oh my!! It will clear a room!!!

Michelle said...

How funny! The pictures make the post!

Colleen said...

Do you think I could put this invention on my husband?
Or at least can you come up with a "Dutch Oven" warning system?

I gave you an award over at my blog--check it out!

Val said...

I am totally for adapting that for kids!

Debra said...

OMG! That is just too funny!

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

Damn. I have a lab that lets some SERIOUS gas RIP!

Now, if you could only get the PCD to auto-deploy I'd totally shell out two easy payments of $19.95 for it!

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