Slayer of Webkinz.
Drinker of Toilet Water.
And, unfortunately, Flatulator Extraordinaire.
I swear, I only feed him puppy chow. But Lord, you'd think he was subsisting on Taco Bell.
So here's my invention: The Portable Collar Deodorizer. (PCD)
So here's my invention: The Portable Collar Deodorizer. (PCD)
STEP 1: Equip canine with PCD.
STEP 2: (in event of flatulence) IDENTIFY OFFENDER.
STEP 3:
RETRIEVE PCD.
STEP 4: DEPLOY DEODORIZER.
STEP 5: (if threat is contained) RETURN PCD TO HOLSTER.
Don't EVEN try to copy my invention because I've already called 800 number for my Inventor's Kit.
The PCD. Making Home Air Breathable...One Fart at a Time.
36 comments:
Genius! For version two you should make it rear mounted with odor sensors for auto deployment. That's going to need some R&D though.
I have a german shorthair that can clear the fricking room. Unbelieveably stinky.
Sort of glad I have a small non flatulent dog, now. He does slay webkinz, though!
Unbelievable! I need one for my husband.
I was going to ask if you could tie that to offending farting people who shall remain nameless...
But what happens if the dog runs away like mine does?
He is a beautiful puppy! I need one of those.
What a wonderful invention! Our standard poodle, when he first came to us, was awful with gaseous emissions. We almost renamed him Gaston.
Freaking awesome. Sign me up.
love it !!
my friend had a french bull dog and he was so old, i swear to god the smell that came from him was horrid
I need a F.A.R.T.can...(Flatulence Air Refreshing Treatment)for my hubby, too. He takes such pride in them, as many males do. I often "gas" him back with OUST or some other equally toxic but more pleasant smelling spray. They KILL me! He just laughs and laughs...UGH!
hahahaah That is the best invention ever! One just looks at you like "what is the problem?", the other just sneaks away with that "It wasn't me" look. We have got to have one of these!
I have two boxers that have "nose hair incinerating, toe curling, napalm burning, gas" as described by a friend who housed them for us once. It was so bad, that one night my husband came home after I was asleep and the bedroom smelled so horrid, he turned on the light and lifted the sheets up thinking I had actually had an accident in my sleep. Can you imagine waking up to your husband checking your a** in the middle of the night? I shit you not! (pun intended there)
Anyhoo.... good solution to this conundrum (besides making the dogs sleep with the kids) is this. Give poocheroo a good scoop of plain yogurt a few times a day. 2x, after meals works fine. Buy the cheap store brand, low or non fat doesn't matter. Takes about a month to work, but the gas will be gone (unless he eats beans or something. Then all bets are off)
Good luck. Invest in nose plugs for the time being!
Will it work on husbands and sons too?
HAHAHA! What a good idea! Do you give him rawhides? Once we cut our dog off of the rawhides the smell in our house improved considerably. Those things cause some stinky gas!
I need that for my bulldog. She can clear a room in 2 seconds. Sometimes we think a skunk sprayed but we walk outside and it smells fine. Who knew dog farts could smell like skunks?
P.S. Check out my latest post. Me, Edward and my stinky dog.
Have you ever read the children's book series called "Walter , the Farting Dog"?
You should.
that is a HUGE dog! can you make a smaller version for my puppy? Her farts are lethal!
Make that collar work for mu hubby and I'll buy one today.
Genius. Now how I can I get my kids to wear the collar?
I like the idea, but don't want to get so close to the dog! If the fart is that bad, it's got to be lingering near the source!!
Very funny!
BTW I like Henious' idea of rear mounted auto deployment. And I think I will try Michelle's yogurt treatment... I mean on the dog... not me... really, it wasn't me!
Uhm yeah... I'd say it's time to offer Diesel up to the Obama's.
If puppies are anything like kittens (who tend to come with the same lethal emissions, albeit in more condensed, compact versions), there is hope that your dog will grow out of this phase. Kittens tend to be constant expenders of the SBD variety, but then they outgrow the issue once they reach full cathood.
So, maybe, just maybe, it's only a phase?
Then again, maybe it isn't. I don't know - haven't lived with a puppy in a long, looooooong time. It is food for thought though, as our daughter has been campaigning for a dog for years now. Perhaps we'll hold off until your invention is on the market. :)
First of all, Diesel is adorable. He's so adorable, he looks like his farts should smell like cookies and play dough.
Love the invention...hopefully you'll make a crossover product for husbands. Cause I would totally buy one of those.
When it goes on the market, I'll be first in line to purchase some. It gets downright toxic around here sometimes with the two German Shepherds. Nasty stuff!
I need this. My dog can burn the hair right out of your nose with his flatulence. He'll even leave the room because it smells so bad.
Hilarious! I will definately buy one.
We have a miniature black schnauzer we love her so much!! She looks like a mini me to your pup!
I'm the lone female here. Does it work for humans?!
Wow! I love that yogurt tip. But my little schnauzer was just plain stinky all the time, gas or no gas.
I am cracking up
so did you ditch the whole raw chicken gig and just move onto puppy chow? I have 4 large boxers, talk about GAS... oh my!! It will clear a room!!!
How funny! The pictures make the post!
Do you think I could put this invention on my husband?
Or at least can you come up with a "Dutch Oven" warning system?
I gave you an award over at my blog--check it out!
I am totally for adapting that for kids!
OMG! That is just too funny!
Damn. I have a lab that lets some SERIOUS gas RIP!
Now, if you could only get the PCD to auto-deploy I'd totally shell out two easy payments of $19.95 for it!
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