Monday, April 28, 2008

Diary of a Polygamist Wife



Dear Diary,
Today we had to go to the Heathens' courthouse. I wore my sky-blue dress, Elizabeth Ann wore her robins-egg blue, and Meredith Jean wore lavender because she is a slut. It took me 2 hours to  get my bangs to roll right because she hid my orange juice cans.
Inside the entrance they had us pass through a "metal detector" but I know it's a machine that sees through our clothes. Meredith Jean said she wanted to go through twice.
In the name of Joseph Smith and all that is pastel, this visit to The Outside is exposing us all to the Devil's work. When court recessed, I saw Luanne and Jo-Beth sipping Red Bulls and reading The National Enquirer. Maybelle wants a Blackberry and Wanda Pearl has signed up for kickboxing. Even Aunt Raylene is claiming she's a Mona Vie distributor.
I'll write again tomorrow, Diary....
                   Sarah Beth
                      

10 comments:

Bex said...

Hey! I saw that you visited me so I thought that I'd pop in and say hello. I didn't expect to actually LIKE you! You, my friend, have an excellent blog and a great writing style! I'll be back (in a very non-stalker kind of way).

PS I wear lavender and am certainly a slut - you really hit the nail on the head!!!

Dorky Dad said...

Well, darn right. Kickboxing is the devil's work.

Or is that tai chi? I can't remember.

Dette | Dance of Motherhood said...

lol - girl - this one had me rollin'. I am definitely adding you to my reader!

Jennifer James said...

Funny! I don't know what was going on behind those gates, but it wasn't good.

The Mom said...

LMAO!

Daddy Papersurfer said...

You made me laugh - I don't like that

nataS said...

This post just earned you a special place with me.

Kristi O said...

okAY!!! I sm so hooked on your blog. I came via wouldacoulashoula and you made me blow diet coke out my nose.... ha!!!

Natalie said...

ok...i am laughing so hard i am crying. i just noticed that you hadn't been blogging long so i thought i would just read everything. and i have laughed and laughed. this one is just priceless! my husband is looking at me like i've lost my mind! of course it is almost 1 in the morning so i'm sure he is wondering why i am keeping him awake with my laughter! so funny...

LisserMay said...

I've been searching for a clever blog and am so psyched to have found yours. I love it (oh yes, I should be working, shouldn't I?)!

You've got yourself a new reader. This post in particular made me chuckle.