My account of the entire Harry Potter series... don't hold me to this. I don't really pay attention.
So. There are 23 Harry Potter books that were made into 18 movies. J.K. Rowling wrote them all on a napkin while she was on the Amtrak. All the movie titles are called "Harry Potter and..." except the 15th one, "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief."
Ok. Basically, if you're a wizard you go to a special school because you're weird and you'd be bullied at public school, and probably turn someone into a burrito and then the school would get sued.
The main thing you need to know is that Harry should totally be with Hermoine but for some random reason she ends up with Ron, who's a ginger, so that doesn't even make sense.
The Bad Guy's named Valdemort and even though he has a snake nose, I've seen scarier.
Um....there are lots of potions/owls/candles/snakes/goblins and spiders.
Everybody defends themselves with wands. I don't really know why they don't use their wands to conjure up guns, I think that'd be more useful against giant spider attacks.
Harry is the only person with a normal name, and that is why he is the most powerful. Everybody else is named like Hingus Puddingfoot.
There is a good amount of running.
The greatest mystery is why nobody is talkin' about THIS dude, who was smokin' hot.
Harry lives, Voldemort dies.
If I missed something, leave a comment.