Sunday, July 17, 2011

Harry Potter Recap. Sort Of.










My account of the entire Harry Potter series... don't hold me to this. I don't really pay attention.

So. There are 23 Harry Potter books that were made into 18 movies. J.K. Rowling wrote them all on a napkin while she was on the Amtrak. All the movie titles are called "Harry Potter and..." except the 15th one, "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief."

Ok. Basically, if you're a wizard you go to a special school because you're weird and you'd be bullied at public school, and probably turn someone into a burrito and then the school would get sued.

The main thing you need to know is that Harry should totally be with Hermoine but for some random reason she ends up with Ron, who's a ginger, so that doesn't even make sense.

The Bad Guy's named Valdemort and even though he has a snake nose, I've seen scarier.

Um....there are lots of potions/owls/candles/snakes/goblins and spiders.

Everybody defends themselves with wands. I don't really know why they don't use their wands to conjure up guns, I think that'd be more useful against giant spider attacks.

Harry is the only person with a normal name, and that is why he is the most powerful. Everybody else is named like Hingus Puddingfoot.

There is a good amount of running.

The greatest mystery is why nobody is talkin' about THIS dude, who was smokin' hot.


OK, maybe that's related to my lingering Adam Ant crush.





*****SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!******


Harry lives, Voldemort dies.

If I missed something, leave a comment.

36 comments:

Susan said...

Oh, Adam Ant... how I loved him....

Heather said...

That Adam Ant guy *was* smoking hot. Especially in IMAX 3D.

A brilliant review!

Hannah said...

I don't give a shit about Harry Potter. I haven't read one of the books or seen any of the movies. But I did get REALLY excited when I saw on my blogroll that you had posted. It had been FAR TOO LONG. Please, you keep me laughing, don't ever leave us for that long again!!

Elisa @ Crazy, Amazing Life said...

I think you did pretty good. After all, you mentioned the hot snatcher and the three main characters. And the nose-less guy.

Elle The Heiress said...

Yeah, that's pretty much how I see it, too. Except I don't think that guy is hot.

choochoo said...

That pretty much sums it up

Merrie said...

Puddingfoot. You had me at Puddingfoot. LOL
Great recap. All HP did was make me feel inferior about my special skillz. Like being able to reach things on high shelves. Sorry, I can't fight off giant snakes or talk to them. I'm just tall.

Aleta said...

I love the summary! And the snake nose, I didn't even think about that. LOL

Mel Spillman artwork said...

My Goodness that was simply delicious. Adam Ant is still one of my favorite crushes (Nick Rhodes from Duran Duran is the original gangster).

Ron is a total gingy faig.

Junaid Ahmed said...

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Justin said...

You know I actually like the Harry Potter series but I love anything that makes fun of it like that! I have giggled ever since Ron was named a ginger...
Good work my friend...

Junaid Ahmed said...

Please, you keep me laughing, don't ever leave us for that long again!!

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Lizzie said...

perfect take on the series! ha ha

Henley on the Horn said...

You are too funny.

MYSUESTORIES said...

I was really going to leave you a comment because you are great at this blog stuff,but then I saw you had 14 other comments...God, I hate being one of the crowd!.........anyway....your writing is great, if not scarce........and try to kill the Adam Ant obsession... not going any where!!!

Cassy said...

I love Harry Potter movies and I have watched all the series.

Cassy from Guitar Made Easy

Hailey said...

This has made my Monday! haha! Thanks for that laugh!

Loveable Loser said...

HHR,
Any words of wisdom for a 14 year old starting High school?

peadoodle said...

hadn't thought of adam ant in years!

I Am Boymom said...

Not a Harry Potter follower, so was glad to see I had the same understanding of the series as someone else out there! Hilarious, as usual, Sue!

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Anna Lefler said...

I have a lingering Adam Ant crush, too!

*sigh*

Just checking in to say hello, girl - hope all is well!

Happy New Year!

XO

A.

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