Sunday, April 26, 2009

Swine Flu Preparedness











After terrorist attacks, pandemics are my second favorite disaster to worry about.

(natural disasters coming in a distant third since Pennsylvania sees few earthquakes and almost no tsunamis.)

So when they announced yesterday that this "swine flu" had pandemic capabilities I thought

#1, Gross. The only thing worse than a dirty, smelly pig is a coughing, feverish, sneezing pig and - 

#2. I don't want to die before "Twilight: New Moon" comes out.

So I said to my husband don't worry- I totally still have all my Y2K stuff like my propane stove and hand-cranked radio and he was all: "a flu pandemic won't affect the electricity." and I was all: "yeah not right AWAY..." because I've read enough Stephen King books to know that people don't become zombies until the virus mutates - then they totally organize into zombie armies and attack the power grids so the non-zombies are at a disadvantage, and the zombies don't need electricity anyway on account of they eat people raw and they have night vision.

And then he said something about antibacterial soap and common sense at which point I tuned out because I realized it was totally up to me to get a preparedness kit ready.

Which will absolutely include plastic sheeting and duct tape because everybody knows that zombie-invasion is the perfect time for a terrorist attack.

26 comments:

Casey said...

I'm glad to know you've got this all under control. I've taken notes.

Terri said...

Between my sis-in-laws newly diagnosed shingles, my mother-in-laws newly diagnosed heart condition, my son's migraines and ulcerative colitis, we have enough meds to stop any silly pig-flu.

I stocked up on anti-viral soaps, germX and barbicide just in case.

The Momma-do said...

I like how you tied the whole Zombie movie thing into this right after you mention New Moon. Coincidence? I think not.

Amy B said...

I had to laugh and agree about the New Moon comment..Ha
Great post.

Jillian said...

I haven't bothered to read one article about this swine flu thing yet.

Don't hit me.

Nic said...

This post is hilarious, I love your blog!!

Lindy said...

I forgot all about Y2K. I think our tote full of survival gear is still in our basement where we prepared to make our safe room. Oh, that's funny stuff now. :)

Dejoni said...

I've yet to read all the details about the swine flu. I'll probably die of it because all I do is surf the net and read blogs.
That would be just my luck...die from a damn porker disease.

kmoye said...

First check your Y2K music stash cause "Party like its 1999" no longer works.

Michelle said...

LOL! People are so silly! Prepardness is cool paranoia not so cool.

jill jill bo bill said...

Who the hell named this disease? As a fatty, I am offended.

mrssoup said...

Don't forget the shotgun! You can't take care of the zombies without a shotgun!

And I would totally go out in a pandemic to watch New Moon.

Jen said...

I am coming to you when ever there is some kind of danger. Get ready b/c the kids are coming too.

The Coleman Chronicles said...

well yeah-- one more thing to worry about!!!
I am using my hurricane supply kit--

Jenny said...

I'm in denial about the whole Swine thing. Okay, I did stock up on Purel. Great time for kids to do the fakey-fake sick act.

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

So what your telling me that I should get a mask, and start putting my kit together too right?

Miss Yvonne said...

I just saw on the news here in Dallas that we've got 3 (three!) confirmed cases of swine flu. That's it...I'm putting aluminum foil on all the windows and stocking up on bottled water. And also pork rinds...because I figure a little irony is called for in this situation, right?

Scandalous Housewife said...

Puhl-leeeeze! I'm so ove-uh all these "diseases"!

Lisa-licious said...

We (in San Diego) just got alerted by phone and e-mail from our daughter's two schools. The last part of the messages said to "cover your coughs" and "wash your hands often". Maybe this pandemic will help people learn some common manners! When the zombies arrive, I am going to pass along the info!

Swirl Girl said...

soylent green anyone?

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

My kid's doc said they were swamped this weekend with swine flu wannabes. And we live in GA.

Miranda said...

LOL Love your blog! I don't want to die before the New Moon movie comes out yet either. In fact, I'd like to at least be around long enough to see all 4 of the Twilight movies. Dang pigs!

amy said...

Hi there love your blogg its sooo funny x x

zelzee said...

I'm right with you......but then again, I read alot of Dean Koontz..........

Daddy Geek Boy said...

My house has been on Swine Flu alert for five days. And by "my house" I mean my wife, who is usually way more level headed about these things.

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