Help me Jesus.
Next Friday is the "Book Launch" for the Chicken Soup for the Soul book I'm in...at the Barnes & Noble in New York City.
Never mind that to get there I have to drive through the Lincoln Tunnel, AKA 'The Claustrophic Tunnel of Doom'...but as we all know I'm heading straight for the über-cluster of Swine Flu.
Like the hero firefighter going into the burning building. OK, not at all like that, but still.
So my sister who lives in Manhattan and who has a completely normal brain totally knows me and is all: "Are you still coming?" and I'm all: "Why- cuz of the Airforce One flyby scare or the swine flu?" and she's all "Both."
Then the Chicken Soup publicist emails me and asks would I want to do an interview beforehand for CBS RADIO and had to act all "Sure I can fit that in" meanwhile I'm all "WTF - How am I supposed to sound coherent when I'm baked on valium????!!!!"
Plus- Dooce is in the book too. What is she shows up and wants to kick my ass?
Although I'm a pretty good kickboxer. I could totally take her as long as she's not tall. Her face looks like she's tall.
If I survive the Lincoln Tunnel, terrorist attack simulations, swine flu exposure, tangling with Dooce and accidental valium overdose, you should totally try to hear my interview on CBS radio.
Unless you're planning on calling in and being all: "Your guest sounds like she's on something - you should ask her."