Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Slaughter of Joe Jonas















Well, I suppose this was bound to happen....

Either my husband or the new puppy was going to rip Flat Joe's head off sooner or later.

But, in the words of "The Million Dollar Man"....(where the word "bionic" originated, youngsters...)

We can make him better than he was.

Better.

Stronger.

Faster.

Hotter. (Ok, I added that)











Um, I think I should have gone up like 20% more in head size at Kinkos.








Not so much Flat Edward as Pea-Head Edward.

He reminds me of this guy from Beetlejuice:


46 comments:

Hannah D. said...

Too funny! I too have been to Kinkos to blow up someone's head (for football game masks) and we certainly got quite a few odd looks!

BacktoBarnwell said...

My question: What do the people at Kinkos think about the HappyHour and Happy Meal Lady?

HappyHourSue said...

B2B: Good question. I always bring one of my girls as a prop and pretend I'm doing something for them.

Candace said...

I love, love, love it! I have to say that the new version is much more delish ... pea head and all! Meow!

deconstructing jen said...

Sorry Joe, it was inevitable. I could have told you it would happen.

Joe left a warning note for Rob: "Watch your back dude. If New Moon isn't awesome you might get it too."

stampvamp said...

SPEW!!! My rss feed should come with "Put down your drink or at least swallow before reading" labels. When I hit the Million Dollar Man (Gosh, I loved Steve...) part I was already grinning...when I saw the new and improved version...I ROARED!!! LOVE IT!! I <3 Rob! TEAM EDWARD!!!

Ms. Attitude said...

It's nice, but I would definately have to make his head a little bit bigger.

Betsey Booms said...

Lee Majors has nothing on him.

Although with his head being a little mis-sized is he just a tad Lindsey Wagner?

Dugout Daisy said...

HAHAHAHA! I can't stop laughing!

Poor Joe... and now poor Edward.

;)

The Mom said...

What's wrong with having them both?! Ahh...

LOL Edward's head doesn need a 10% upgrade or so!

Lynette said...

Maybe you should get velcro on the back so if you have to replace him again (or if you find another true love)you can just rip it and stick it.

(sounds kinkier than it's supposed to)

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

How about a real neck tie, scarf or some bling to hold it in place? I mean, I dress my dolls up all the time. It keeps our relationship fresh.

kel said...

Freaking hilarious!

CoffeeJitters.Net (Judy Haley) said...

I am so not into the whole twilight thing, but that rug is breathtaking.

Allison said...

Can you make me a Tom Brady one?

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

I love how Useless Poodle is staring at the hole and probably thinking, "Oh, crap, I'm SOOOO gonna get blamed for this. Let me go find some toast..."

Leigh (Modern Mommy) said...

Admit it, you trained the dog to do that so you could have a Flat Rob Pattinson, didn't you?

Cassie said...

That's hilarious! Definitely wrong on the scale. I loved the "a while" comment from the Beetlejuice shrunken-headed dude. If I had a flat Edward in my house, my husband would surely divorce me - I never knew he was jealous until Edward entered my life.

SweetPeaSurry said...

I love Flat Edward. He is so uber-fine!!!

I think you did a fantastic job on the reparation work!

Miss Yvonne said...

Now you'll have to hang Flat Edward up somewhere so the dog can't get to him too....like above your bed.

Aleta said...

LMAO, thanks I needed to think of that with Beetlejuice in mind!

Kirsten said...

Nice work! What a cute pea head!

Lee the MWOB Queen said...

Ha ha ha! very nice work - I looked at the remnants of that head and didn't think it was possible to get him all bionic but it worked.

And i'm laughing at the Kinkos question and yes, I've also used my kids as decoys for strange mama motivated operations. I mean, that's what they are for right??

kelspot said...

the title of this entry seriously made me lol. TOO FUNNY!

the Mayor said...

You're funny but predictable. The minute you started your new improved list I knew we would see Edward's head atop that body. I just didn't expect it to be pin head sized because we know what a perfect specimen Edward is.

Cameron said...

I thought you were going to make him better, stronger, faster???? :)

Krystyn said...

That is hilarious...and definitely an improvement!

Kelly said...

The hottness of the new head distracts from the peahead size...good substitution!

Jenni Jiggety said...

Even with the pea-head, I'd lick, I mean LOVE him.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Do you have a bionic woman to be his Flat Jamie?

michelle said...

I am sure you sub-conciously left poor Joe at dog-level hoping that damn guard poodle would eat his head for just this reason. Well done, Sue!

...and isn't the whole point of having children to use them at will for your own good?

Rachel said...

Too funny!

theoddduckling said...

Your dog is officially my hero.

Deb said...

Are you jealous of Diesel? After all, he did get to take a bite out of Joe first.

Me said...

My cardboard man has a chewed up leg, any suggestions on how to fix that?

jaime said...

MUAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA

kaila said...

OMG! That brought back memories of me and my old roommate (diehard freakmagnets and rockers) about 15 years ago. We entered a drawing for a flat Hanson thingy as a joke. We won! Hanson proudly adorned our living room for some time........

Jamie said...

HAHA You totally solved the hotness factor there!

I still can't believe he cut his hair *grumble*

There should have been something in his contract against that!

Threeboys1mommy said...

I never thought I'd say this, but I think I prefer Joe.

Brittany said...

OK, so while I would be more on Team Joe, he does look pretty hot.

HIlarious!

Cathie said...

LOVE the improvements....I was giggling....I knew it was coming. Now if those dogs attack Edward then we will know there are part of The Pack......

Lisa-licious said...

Cooking up a new "flat Edward"? I call that "Cullen-hairy" genius. I crack myself up.

tamilyn said...

Hmmm, I have a flat Rusty Wallace. If I let my daughter see this post she'll get all sorts of ideas for making her own "Flat Edward". Don't worry Rusty, I'll hide you but good!

Kini said...

Oh gosh! That is too funny! LOL!

Anonymous said...

I dont get da joke.....?? u know wat joe and edward r f'kn hor yr just another hater!!! ;D U know wat go get a freakin life nd da pl dat think its funny.......... <33

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