Friday, May 7, 2010

Sorry- I've Been Sick With Scarlet Fever

No, I haven't.

But I like the name. It's very dramatic.

And you could picture me lying in bed with one of those old fashioned water bottle thingys on my forehead. (spellcheck says 'thingys" is not a word)







And there would be a couple of nuns pacing around with bowls of water and bibles and speaking in hushed tones.

Plus, my doctor would be referred to as "Doc". As in, "Doc Rivers says it's The Fever".

And my whole family would be kept waiting outside because I'd be too weak.. unless someone could make a call to Robert Pattinson's people about a 'last wish"..that'd be sweet.

Then I'd be all: "get me my makeup...." and the nuns would bring me like a lipstick and I'd be all "No, you dumbass, I need my Philosophy moisturizer, my Mac undereye concealer, my Bare Essentuals powder, my "soft cocoa" eyeshadow collection, my L'oreal mascara, my Sephora mint lipgloss and a spritz of my Bath & Body "warm vanilla sugar" body spray. God.

Then I'd summon all my strength and change into like a cute tank top and boy shorts cuz that's a good death outfit and an even better meeting Robert Pattinson outfit.


Anyway.  It WOULD totally explain why I havent posted in (just went back to check)... 2 weeks.

But it's just writers block again- I am so firing myself if this keeps up.

20 comments:

Nic said...

And the best excuse for not blogging goes to...Happy Hour Sue! Heehee.

(Also, I think it's spelt 'thingies' - oh wait, spell check has underlined that too...)

SueMac said...

Oh, I love Warm Vanilla Sugar!! And why is thingy not covered in spell check? I mean, we all use it!

Jazz said...

This is the best I'm blogging to say I have nothing to say post I've read in a looooooong time.

Former Fat Chick said...

Calling a NUN- DUMBASS on your deathbed is NOT a good idea- ha-ha see ya in HELL

April said...

Girl ... you need to see the video on my blog today ... this will help with your fever, although it definitely will give you chills and make your heart race!!
Happy Friday!!

Chandra said...

What a clever and funny 'retrospective' of the last two weeks...I was just taking a drink of coffee..I just about had hot coffee come out my nose after reading this. NOT pretty. So word to the wise...make sure you are not consuming HOT substances while READING THIS POST! :)

A Real Housewife said...

i would totally get "the fever" if robert pattinson was on the get well to-do list.

sheilah said...

I thought it was 'cause you loved the "Booze vs. Flipflops" video so much. I know I did.

HappyHourSue said...

Sheilah: I DO love that video more than life. My 2 favorite parts are when he's sitting cross-legged doing the 'regroup" and then when he thinks he probably still has some game with ladies. LMAO.

Anonymous said...

Welcome Back! Your fans missed you. Apparently it's just a short hop from writer's block to writer's blog.

feefifoto said...

Try "thingies". Hope you recover from your malady soon.

Lisa-licious said...

If you TRULY were on your death bed, you know I would be there by your side, RPattz in tow (somehow), with a keg of Sweet Tea Vodka (and Manny to serve it to you), some "dancers" from Boystown, IL, to entertain you, and we could discuss all our life's regrets.

Regrets?!! Life's too short to have regrets! BlogHer '10! NYC, baby!!! I'm DYING to get there!

Shaggs said...

I cant believe you've already got 12 comments about a post about not posting. Nice.

kmoye said...

you crack me up!

MommyTime said...

I'd go with "consumption" if I were you. That's one that was thought to require extended periods of recuperation in warmer, dryer climates. Yeah, yeah, TB can be cured with a solid dose of antibiotics now...but "consumption"? Well, that can linger for years, flare up periodically, require sudden disappearances for the sake of your health...basically, it's the perfect disease if you want soothing doctors in spats making housecalls. ;)

Kate said...

I agree with MommyTime -- 'consumption' is def. the way to go. I've actually been hospitalized with Scarlet Fever and the aftermath (lots of peeling skin on your hands and feet) isn't pretty. With consumption you can lounge around looking frail and beautiful and not look like you dipped your hands in too hot wax.

Lynette said...

If it helps, I just posted pictures instead of words for my blog the other day. *shakes head* I've got to do better than this

Andika Pratama said...

Be careful with it ^^

Dugout Daisy said...

a tank and boy shorts are the MUST HAVE outfit for seeing Rob ;)

I Am Boymom said...

Best post about writer's block EVAH!