It's Groundhog Day. Again.
6:00am - 6:45am: Pit crew for launch of teen and tween to school bus.
7:00am - 8:00am: Pit crew for launch of 2nd grader to school bus.
8:00am on: Emails /Posting /Commenting /Twitter /Workout /Shower /Grocery Store /Dry Cleaner /Post Office /Laundry /Phonecalls /Vacuuming /More Laundry /Clean Kitchen /Kids' Rooms /Phonecalls /Emails /Twitter /More Cleaning /More Laundry /Husband's errands /Bills /Emails /Tween from bus stop /snack for tween /homework /2nd grader from bus stop /snack for 2nd grader / homework /prepare dinner /Soccer practice /dance /make dinner /serve dinner /clean dishes /supervise homework /computer /kids to bed /bed.
Repeat. Copy & paste. & Paste. & Paste. & Paste.
I keep washing the clothes, but they keep coming back.
I keep vacuuming the kitchen, but the crumbs and the goldfish and those little plastic tabs from the milk carton tops keep reappearing.
What about THIS day, universe?:
6:00am: husband whispers - "Don't get up, Hon - you sleep in, I'll get the kids off to school."
8:00am Shuffle down to kitchen, where husband has left me breakfast and a note: "sorry - we were out of mangoes, but I hope you like the fruit salad. Have a terrific day - signed, the Luckiest Guy in the World. xoxox."
9:00 Kickboxing at the gym. Mark Wahlberg is surprise guest instructor. Asks me out for coffee afterwards.
11:00-2:00 Clothes shopping at the mall. Score perfect Christmas presents at the same time.
2:00-3:00 Hot stone massage
3:00-4:00 Facial with aromatherapy.
5:00 Check emails: Random House wants to make a book from my blog. $200,000 advance. Wants to know if I could go on the Today Show to promote it. Warns me that the studio might be a little crazy that day because of Jonas Brothers appearance. I'll just have to wait in green room with Josh Holloway, if that's OK.
6:00-8:00 Dinner with husband at hip new restaurant. Mark Wahlberg at next table: We joke about kickboxing class. Don't mention coffee.
9:00 Watch Grey's Anatomy with husband and a glass of expensive wine.
10:30 bed.
Wait. I lost the kids in there somewhere. Um...throw in a nanny around 3pm.
Thanks, Universe. I'll be waiting.
i am signing up to be your personal assistant...especially since we will be stuck in the green room with Josh holloway
ReplyDeleteI like the way you think...great day :)
ReplyDeleteSounds like you deserve a day like that.
ReplyDeleteBTW - did you see SNL's sketch "Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals?" It was classic.
I'm waiting with you Sue. I'm sure the universe is listening. It is going to happen soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure it isn't the Great Pumpkin we are waiting for, right? Right????
Can I join you? I'm good at choosing a good wine!
ReplyDeleteseriously...if it only worked that way!
ReplyDeleteCan I submit this request to the Universe for me too? Just wondering...
ReplyDeleteHey that sounds like my day, except Josh asks me to have dinner with him at the new hip restaurant and he invites me to live with him on a deserted island in the Pacific.
ReplyDeleteMark Wahlberg...hmmm, that's all I read. oh my, that is MY kinda man!
ReplyDeletewhenever i read about mark wahlberg taking himself too seriously, i repeat the following words to myself:
ReplyDeletemarky mark and i'm here to move you
rhymes will groove you
pure hip hop, no sell out
if you ain't in it to win it
then get the hell out
and then i laugh and laugh and laugh.
For what it's worth my sons never make my fantasies either, except that one I have of them being the future Jonas Brothers. The one where they buy me a mansion by the Hudson, and hand me the keys to a custom Ferrari ( I can't drive stick) That one is great!
ReplyDeleteCan I be the nanny? I would only sneak like one glass of your expensive wine. Promise.
ReplyDeleteThat day sounds AWESOME! I'll wait in the green room with Josh Holloway while you go sneak into Joe Jonas' dressing room! Win - win!
ReplyDeleteWait a minute, I thought SAHM's sat around eating chocolate and watching soap operas all day?! I need to send this to my SIL, she once told me she could never stay home like I do because she would be so bored. Hmph.
ReplyDeleteOh man... Bill Murray looks so young on that movie cover.
ReplyDeleteAh! I have the same thoughts/feelings! We went to the beach this year and I felt like I was on a working vacation! Oh, to sleep in! Listen up universe! I need that day too!
ReplyDeletelol...I'll have a talk with the universe for you, but I'm pretty sure it just prefers to kick me in the pants.
ReplyDeleteAwesome ideas for a perfect day and now that you put it out there to the Universe, you know it could actually happen. Just please don't forget the nanny if it does. ;)
ReplyDeleteI like most of that except for the Mark Wahlberg stuff.
ReplyDeleteAnd the shopping stuff.
And the Grey's Anatomy.
And dinner with your husband.
But other than that everything else...
Lord I so feel your pain. Except for me subtract two kids and throw in a full time job plus nursing school.
ReplyDeletelove it! Come on Universe, pony up!
ReplyDeleteLove the mark wahlberg secret coffee date, though in my perfect day he would be giving the massage!
love your blog, you're hilarious!
You left out mugging with Matt Lauer. Oh, wait, that's Georgie!
ReplyDeleteYou are too funny. But I know that all can't be true, as my BOYFRIEND Marky Mark was in BED with ME!
ReplyDeletethe thought of marky mark was enough for me....i loved him as the crazed guy in Fear .....
ReplyDeleteDang...where do I sign up for a day like that?
ReplyDeletePlease stop by my blog on your way to NYC and pick up your awards. :)
I will take the second scenario, please! If only....
ReplyDeleteOh baby, sign me up for that day too please! (except replace the Jonas Brothers with Jon Mayer please)
ReplyDeleteIf you like coffee you need to get in on my Giveaway! To celebrate the launching of my online coffee shop, Get The Bean,I am giving away 1 pound of coffee (or chai or herbal tea if you prefer) every Friday in October. To enter visit:
ReplyDeletewww.getthebean.blogspot.com
If you are interested in a chance to get money for the cancer charity of your choice for an entire year go to:
www.gtbfightscancer.blogspot.com
Or just visit our site:
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okay- so your life sounds amazingly similar to mine only without those 'flying pigs'!!
ReplyDeleteoh, and please tell me its Wahlberg a la Boogie Nights...please?
In the film, Murray plays Phil Connors, an egocentric Pittsburgh TV weatherman who, during a hated assignment covering the annual Groundhog Day event (February 2) in Punxsutawney, finds himself repeating the same day over and over again. After indulging in all manner of hedonistic pursuits, he begins to reexamine his life and priorities. Screw that...I would like to wake up Feb 3 next to Adie MacDowell..even in my dreams.
ReplyDeleteAs I was trying to post my inane comment about how funny you are, Blogger repeatedly told me your site was just too busy... sort of like a velvet rope and my comment's the ugly girl showing no cleavage.
ReplyDeleteAh yes, I wish all days were like that! lol.
ReplyDelete*I am just roaming through friends blogs.. that is how I found yours. I like it!*
Hahaha!!
ReplyDeleteI love reading your stuff!
I must agree with you about the plastic milk tabs...is that crap not annoying?! Geezzz, Im so happy to hear that it annoys someone else too! :)
Have a great night!
I think the universe is sleeping. Perhaps if we all yell loud enough we can wake it, and Sue can have her day.
ReplyDeleteI'll be screaming at 5:00 AM starting tomorrow...
aim high, girl! good for you!! :P
ReplyDeletemy dream is more like "have maid show up from nowhere and clean entire house". that is all.
I so want that day,if you get it you must tell how you did it.
ReplyDeleteMarky Mark used to rent the penthouse in my old condo building. His place only had a mattress on the floor, a killer stereo system, a heavenly view, and about 50 pairs of sneakers lined up along the bedroom wall. Do not ask me how I know this.
ReplyDeleteYou are BRILLIANT!!!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I hate to burst your bubble but the second part of your post will NEVER happen. Not to you, not to me. Such a pity.
That would be an awesome day. Are you taking interviews for your personal assistant???
ReplyDeleteOh if only every day could be like that instead of the reality that we seem to be living in.
ReplyDeleteOh I hear you. That sounds like a great day. Even just the morning part...where I get to sleep in and the husband does all that "morning crap". I hate that part of the day.
ReplyDeleteHmmm.....sounds delish. I am SO in on that day.
ReplyDelete